At what Point do you Send Home Incident/Behavior Reports for Toddlers?

[E Daycare]

I have a 2.5yr old with whom I sent a incident report home with their parent today. I also discussed what happened at pickup and told the parent "I understand that 2.5yrs is a younger age (I have most 3yr olds and then an infant) but your child had the following issue today....

The issue was throwing sand. I recently bought a sand table that arrived yesterday. I filled it with blue and red sand and before all trips outside we review a small list of rules regarding outside play and now added sand play. This said child, whom I have to take extra care to make sure pays attention and hears me, ALWAYS has "remembering the rules" issues. When I mean always I mean every 5 minutes I have to say "now so and so, remember no digging in the dirt" or "you have a regular cup today, remember to watch where you put it so it doesn't spill" and more things like "stay away from the neighbors gate/drain crate". These are daily. I have to literally tell the child every other minute to remember what we talked about. "Sit on the bum because you fall off the chair all the time" rinse and repeat. Simple everyday things like "use your spoon for cereal" becomes a constant reminder. Dck also has depth perception issues (I say the child does as I've never seen a child like this but I'm no person to diagnose) because dck constantly walks into everything and everyone and falls down. Anyone deal with a child who was standing one second and the next their feet just gave way? This child always falls off chairs and stools. To the point when another child accidentally falls they say "I'm just like so and so I fell down!".

Anyways, off topic I know. So today during sand play, after my simple and to the point review on "do not throw sand you will not get to play with it" decided to throw all caution to the wind again and throw a handful in another child's face. I'm right with the children to make sure I can keep and eye and remind the dck to "remember do not throw sand". This child was mad another child was using a shovel. I told the dck whom threw the sand, that we had other shovels and the child immediately narrowed their eyes,looked off to the side, picked up a handful of sand and threw it at the other child. My immediate reaction was to confort the hurt child and gather the others to come in the house to access the situation. I had 4 older toddlers today, three followed and the one who was going to be in trouble smiled and went on their way to play happily in the sand. I set down the hurt child to bring in the " pleased with thyself" child and couldn't believe want a little stinker that child was! 10 minutes later I had flushed out the hurt child's eye and had a frank discussion with the dck on how that we do not throw sand, the friend was hurt and that the sand table was off limits for the rest of the day.

I wrote this up in an incident report and informed the parents of what had happened. My continued action plan is to have this child play more one on one in my setting and to assimilate the dck back with the others when I see directions can be followed. This child has been in my care 7mo and where there are minor issues I deal with daily (the constant reminding, basic common sense skills) I've never brought much up with the parent other then the dck constant falling down issues.

After such an extensive post I applaud you if you're still reading . Would you have sent a incident report home for something like this? I don't toss out reports home left and right but figure if I send home a BooBoo report home to the victim then an incident report needs to be sent home for the offending child if it wasn't an accident.

I do know that 2.5yrs is still young and it's apparent that this child is on the immature side for their age (still has a paci, not much verbal skills, calls me mommy and dh daddy) but I do want to make sure the child knows that I don't tolerate it. Dck does have an older sibling (4yr old sibling) whom goes to an actual daycare so I know this child has learned habits from home.

I just want to make sure I didn't over-react with sending home the incident report.

[Hunni Bee]

I have a 2.5yr old with whom I sent a incident report home with their parent today. I also discussed what happened at pickup and told the parent "I understand that 2.5yrs is a younger age (I have most 3yr olds and then an infant) but your child had the following issue today....

The issue was throwing sand. I recently bought a sand table that arrived yesterday. I filled it with blue and red sand and before all trips outside we review a small list of rules regarding outside play and now added sand play. This said child, whom I have to take extra care to make sure pays attention and hears me, ALWAYS has "remembering the rules" issues. When I mean always I mean every 5 minutes I have to say "now so and so, remember no digging in the dirt" or "you have a regular cup today, remember to watch where you put it so it doesn't spill" and more things like "stay away from the neighbors gate/drain crate". These are daily. I have to literally tell the child every other minute to remember what we talked about. "Sit on the bum because you fall off the chair all the time" rinse and repeat. Simple everyday things like "use your spoon for cereal" becomes a constant reminder. Dck also has depth perception issues (I say the child does as I've never seen a child like this but I'm no person to diagnose) because dck constantly walks into everything and everyone and falls down. Anyone deal with a child who was standing one second and the next their feet just gave way? This child always falls off chairs and stools. To the point when another child accidentally falls they say "I'm just like so and so I fell down!".

Anyways, off topic I know. So today during sand play, after my simple and to the point review on "do not throw sand you will not get to play with it" decided to throw all caution to the wind again and throw a handful in another child's face. I'm right with the children to make sure I can keep and eye and remind the dck to "remember do not throw sand". This child was mad another child was using a shovel. I told the dck whom threw the sand, that we had other shovels and the child immediately narrowed their eyes,looked off to the side, picked up a handful of sand and threw it at the other child. My immediate reaction was to confort the hurt child and gather the others to come in the house to access the situation. I had 4 older toddlers today, three followed and the one who was going to be in trouble smiled and went on their way to play happily in the sand. I set down the hurt child to bring in the " pleased with thyself" child and couldn't believe want a little stinker that child was! 10 minutes later I had flushed out the hurt child's eye and had a frank discussion with the dck on how that we do not throw sand, the friend was hurt and that the sand table was off limits for the rest of the day.

I wrote this up in an incident report and informed the parents of what had happened. My continued action plan is to have this child play more one on one in my setting and to assimilate the dck back with the others when I see directions can be followed. This child has been in my care 7mo and where there are minor issues I deal with daily (the constant reminding, basic common sense skills) I've never brought much up with the parent other then the dck constant falling down issues.

After such an extensive post I applaud you if you're still reading . Would you have sent a incident report home for something like this? I don't toss out reports home left and right but figure if I send home a BooBoo report home to the victim then an incident report needs to be sent home for the offending child if it wasn't an accident.

I do know that 2.5yrs is still young and it's apparent that this child is on the immature side for their age (still has a paci, not much verbal skills, calls me mommy and dh daddy) but I do want to make sure the child knows that I don't tolerate it. Dck does have an older sibling (4yr old sibling) whom goes to an actual daycare so I know this child has learned habits from home.

I just want to make sure I didn't over-react with sending home the incident report.

Nah, I don't think you did. 2.5 is old enough to understand/remember "don't throw sand" and it sounds like he/she is doing it on purpose. The parents do need to know.

I work in a center, and I believe in a paper trail. If a child gets hurt by another child, we notify both families in writing.

[countrymom]

you did good. I would have removed the stinker right away and banned him sand table rights. He can watch from a far.

[Ariana]

I think you did what was right. I'm not sure if I would have brought this up with the parents because it's pretty normal behavior but I may have.

I also think it's important to have natural consequences for behavior. If the child throws sand, that's it they're done with the sand. They should catch on. also make sure to tell them what you WANT them to do. I always say "keep the sand down" rather than "don't throw the sand". I'll usually give a warning and after 2X they're finished with the sand for the day. The next day I remind them of what happened yesterday and ask them if they'd like "another chance".

[Crystal]

I would have given it a few days of getting used to having access to sand. If this is a new experience for him, he simply doesn't yet understand the effect of his throwing sand. If after several days of having access to it he still isn't getting it, then, I would consider that this child is not developmentally ready for the sand....or at least not in group play.

I would try giving him a small bin of sand, on the floor, near but away from the rest of the group so that he cannot throw sand at them, and allow him to explore freely. If he throws sand it either hits the floor OR he may get some in HIS OWN eyes. Now, I wouldn't WANT that to happen, but if it does, as a result of HIM throwing sand, he will quickly learn the effect of throwing sand and how it hurts the OTHER children. If he doesn't get the concept after a couple of times, then I would say he simply is not ready for sand play at all right now and would offer alternate activities for him while the others play with sand. For me, if I have to stand over and supervise sand play at all times, then they are not ready for it. We use sand daily, and I do not have to guard it.....neither should you. If you have to do that, I'd say they are not ready for it, so remove it.

Alot of the other issues you describe tell me this child is not developmentally ready for a few things.....a regular cup, if you have to always remind him not to spill......sippy cup for a few more months if it's a continuous issue. Same with the other stuff. Simplify YOUR life and only give him what he is REALLY ready for

[JenNJ]

I agree with Crystal.

[E Daycare]

I would have given it a few days of getting used to having access to sand. If this is a new experience for him, he simply doesn't yet understand the effect of his throwing sand. If after several days of having access to it he still isn't getting it, then, I would consider that this child is not developmentally ready for the sand....or at least not in group play.

I would try giving him a small bin of sand, on the floor, near but away from the rest of the group so that he cannot throw sand at them, and allow him to explore freely. If he throws sand it either hits the floor OR he may get some in HIS OWN eyes. Now, I wouldn't WANT that to happen, but if it does, as a result of HIM throwing sand, he will quickly learn the effect of throwing sand and how it hurts the OTHER children. If he doesn't get the concept after a couple of times, then I would say he simply is not ready for sand play at all right now and would offer alternate activities for him while the others play with sand. For me, if I have to stand over and supervise sand play at all times, then they are not ready for it. We use sand daily, and I do not have to guard it.....neither should you. If you have to do that, I'd say they are not ready for it, so remove it.

Alot of the other issues you describe tell me this child is not developmentally ready for a few things.....a regular cup, if you have to always remind him not to spill......sippy cup for a few more months if it's a continuous issue. Same with the other stuff. Simplify YOUR life and only give him what he is REALLY ready for

Wonderful advice! I will implement this system and I figure once this new novelty wears off the child will be able to play freely again with the group. If I don't see any improvements then I'll keep it at solitary sand play.

The other child needed to go to the doctor today for another flush and it turned bloodshot and was starting to bruise where the child had been rubbing it all night.

I feel so horrible.

[snbauser]

I would have given it a few days of getting used to having access to sand. If this is a new experience for him, he simply doesn't yet understand the effect of his throwing sand. If after several days of having access to it he still isn't getting it, then, I would consider that this child is not developmentally ready for the sand....or at least not in group play.

I would try giving him a small bin of sand, on the floor, near but away from the rest of the group so that he cannot throw sand at them, and allow him to explore freely. If he throws sand it either hits the floor OR he may get some in HIS OWN eyes. Now, I wouldn't WANT that to happen, but if it does, as a result of HIM throwing sand, he will quickly learn the effect of throwing sand and how it hurts the OTHER children. If he doesn't get the concept after a couple of times, then I would say he simply is not ready for sand play at all right now and would offer alternate activities for him while the others play with sand. For me, if I have to stand over and supervise sand play at all times, then they are not ready for it. We use sand daily, and I do not have to guard it.....neither should you. If you have to do that, I'd say they are not ready for it, so remove it.

Alot of the other issues you describe tell me this child is not developmentally ready for a few things.....a regular cup, if you have to always remind him not to spill......sippy cup for a few more months if it's a continuous issue. Same with the other stuff. Simplify YOUR life and only give him what he is REALLY ready for

ITA!!

I also agree with the pp that we need to remember that we have to teach children how we want them to behave. Children aren't born knowing their abc's, numbers, names, etc. We have to teach them. Why would we think that they are born knowing how to share, take turns, think with empathy, etc? We have to teach them these skills as well so when they are doing something inappropriate, instead of punishing them or telling them no, we need to tell them what type of behavior we expect instead.

Also, remember that young children can't always think abstractly and are still learning cause and effect. You need to give them something they can see. For example with the cups. It can be hard for a child to think about not putting their cup on the edge of the table. They see a spot for it and put it down. They aren't think about "what if my elbow hits it". For my kids, I have all of their names on the table and they know that their cup belongs on their name. Even my 22 month old knows where to put it because it is something they can visually see. With 12 kids all using regular cups we maybe have 1 spilled cup a month.

[wdmmom]

Anytime a child is injured, there is an incident report drawn up. If the child did it to oneself, it doesn't count. If the attacker caused harm to another child, it's 1 point. 3 points = termination.

I've only had to write up 2 incidents reports since I started. Both were for biting.

I think drawing up the incident report was a good idea and I think Crystal is right. You should allow a few days to incorporate new toys.

When I present new toys, I allow each child to play individually with it, then we move into sharing it.

[Meeko]

OK...gotta admit .....I like to play in the sand!

For a little one , who has never done it before, it can be fun overload. I agree with Crystal and would introduce him to it slowly. I think he is so excited he forgets all the rules that go with it.