My 2 yo Screamer. HELP!

[sahm2three]

I am fairly convinced that he will not be happy unless I just let him have the run of the house. He HAS to be in the gated area. It has plenty of things to do. I have put up pics of my set up before, but if I need to I will again. I don't know if it is a losing battle with this one child? I don't have the same issue with anyone else. Just don't know what to do. It is the second we walk towards the gate, he flips. Then he proceeds to hang on the gate and cry, this high pitched scream. I really thought it would improve. He is in OT and speech. We thought once he gained in communication, he would get better, and he did, for a while. Nothing else has changed here. Same kids, same set up, same routine. Ideas?

[nannyde]

I've never met a kid that wanted to stay in the playroom and not run the house. From the time they are mobile they want to run the house.

I wish they could just run the house. I wish the regulations allowed for us to let them be free without supervision and allow the injuries that come along with it. But alas.... they don't.

He's in child care where the rules are that he must be watched. That means being in the same room with the adult and not being one of many who can go to many places with no adult. It's part of being a day care kid. If he must do "run the house" then he must be somewhere where he can do that and the adult with him either follows behind him or can sustain the consequences of the injuries the rules are trying to prevent.

I consider his want to be perfectly normal and the answer is a resounding no. If he won't leave the gate alone then at my house he would go into a play yard so that he had a physical barrier between him and the gate. I don't allow hanging on the gate but I do allow hanging on the play yard panels. If he needs to cry and hang onto something here it would have to be a play yard. I would show him that playing int he playroom is a great deal compared to a play yard that is much smaller and doesn't have the cool toys or the other kids. He needs to figure out that he has the best deal he could have in your setting. If that means smalling up his current deal so he appreciates the gated room then that's what I would do. My kids will always choose the play room over the play yards and run the house over the play rooms. They will always choose "go home" over "run the house". They will always choose Chucky Cheese over "go home. They will always choose Disneyland over Chucky Cheese.

That's the way kids are. They want the best deal they can get at the moment. He just doesn't get that the gated room is his Disneyland.

[sahm2three]

I've never met a kid that wanted to stay in the playroom and not run the house. From the time they are mobile they want to run the house.

I wish they could just run the house. I wish the regulations allowed for us to let them be free without supervision and allow the injuries that come along with it. But alas.... they don't.

He's in child care where the rules are that he must be watched. That means being in the same room with the adult and not being one of many who can go to many places with no adult. It's part of being a day care kid. If he must do "run the house" then he must be somewhere where he can do that and the adult with him either follows behind him or can sustain the consequences of the injuries the rules are trying to prevent.

I consider his want to be perfectly normal and the answer is a resounding no. If he won't leave the gate alone then at my house he would go into a play yard so that he had a physical barrier between him and the gate. I don't allow hanging on the gate but I do allow hanging on the play yard panels. If he needs to cry and hang onto something here it would have to be a play yard. I would show him that playing int he playroom is a great deal compared to a play yard that is much smaller and doesn't have the cool toys or the other kids. He needs to figure out that he has the best deal he could have in your setting. If that means smalling up his current deal so he appreciates the gated room then that's what I would do. My kids will always choose the play room over the play yards and run the house over the play rooms. They will always choose "go home" over "run the house". They will always choose Chucky Cheese over "go home. They will always choose Disneyland over Chucky Cheese.

That's the way kids are. They want the best deal they can get at the moment. He just doesn't get that the gated room is his Disneyland.

I totally agree. I have had him since he was 4 months old. He KNOWS how things work here. I don't allow him to run the house. But he seems shocked each and every day when I take him to the gated area. And he screams. Loud. Ear piercing screaming. We have tried ignoring him in this state, and sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn't and when teh rest of the kids become bothered by it, covering their ears or pleading with him to stop, we have to remove him. So when that happens, we take him to a seperate room and put him in a pnp. We tell him that when he stops screaming we will come get him. One of us waits outside of his view and when he quiets, we come in and say, "Are you ready to go play with your friends?" He almost always nods yes. If he begins screaming again we again leave him. If he nods yes, we try again. If he screams upon entering the play area again, we leave again. I can't remember the last time he just happily went in to play. This has become our routine. I don't know what else to do.

[nannyde]

I totally agree. I have had him since he was 4 months old. He KNOWS how things work here. I don't allow him to run the house. But he seems shocked each and every day when I take him to the gated area. And he screams. Loud. Ear piercing screaming. We have tried ignoring him in this state, and sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn't and when teh rest of the kids become bothered by it, covering their ears or pleading with him to stop, we have to remove him. So when that happens, we take him to a seperate room and put him in a pnp. We tell him that when he stops screaming we will come get him. One of us waits outside of his view and when he quiets, we come in and say, "Are you ready to go play with your friends?" He almost always nods yes. If he begins screaming again we again leave him. If he nods yes, we try again. If he screams upon entering the play area again, we leave again. I can't remember the last time he just happily went in to play. This has become our routine. I don't know what else to do.

He needs to start out in the pnp every day. As soon as he comes in the door give him some pnp time. If he starts crying when he sees the gate then he's scooped up and very quickly returned to the pnp. Wait until he has a good five minutes of quiet time before trying him again.

He's just voting that's all. He needs to say he doesn't like it loudly. I wouldn't worry about it at all. Just straight to the pnp and let him have at it. He has a right to his little toddler feelings so let him vote.

[cheerfuldom]

I do what nanny suggested....they can cry all they want but it will be in a room in a pnp all by themselves. even the young ones (barely a year or younger even) learn this very quickly. I do ignore prolonged screaming tantrums but I dont allow the screamers to disrupt all the other kids and the activities, thats not fair for the group to have to hear that all day.

[sahm2three]

I hope and pray each morning that he is happy and will play without all the hassle. But my prayers are not answered. I guess starting him out in a pnp might make the playroom look really good? My play area is awesome! It makes me feel bad that he acts this way. He is the only one who does, everyone else loves it. So I guess I shouldn't feel bad. Thank you both.