Coping with Divorce....

[daycare]

I have a DCK that has been in my care off and on for about a year. Great kid and Great family. Unfortunately, the Parents are going through a divorce and the daycare kid is showing signs of regression.

DCK has been potty trained for over a year. Almost 4 years old. DCK has never had an accident in my care ever. That is until recently when his parents split up last month. NOw he is having several accidents a week. Pee only so far.

I know that the parents have been very ugly to each other. I have done everything to stay out of it but I am sure that it is affecting DCK and need to say something to the parents

My question is, how do I help this child with this regression? I will not put this child back in a pull up or a diaper, just out of the question, plus DCK is about the size of a 6-7 year old, so I don't even that would be an option.

Anyone every deal with this and have any advice??

thanks in advance for responding.

[Bookworm]

I have a child in my class going through this. He became extremely sensitive and his feelings were always being hurt by the smallest things. He would just burst out crying for no obvious reason and at one point withdrew from everything at school. Fortunately, he had great parents and they informed me of the situation. His home life was different but they both did what they could to keep everything as normal as possible.

I had a talk with them and we came up with a plan to "coax" him back to us. Dcb thought that divorce meant that they were going to leave him and his sibs as well as each other. Broke my heart. I asked the parents if Dcb was having a particularly bad day, could he call one or the other and they agreed. I thought it would be an everyday thing but after 2 weeks he came around.

What worked for me was the ability to call mom or dad if needed with the understanding that he would not be picked up, giving an ear when he needed to talk, giving him space to be alone without anyone asking 100 questions, and lots of hugs.

Good luck with your little one. Your best bet would be to tell the parents of your concerns. Prayerfully, the 3 of you can get together to help him get through this. It's not a good situation for a child of any age.

[daycare]

I have a child in my class going through this. He became extremely sensitive and his feelings were always being hurt by the smallest things. He would just burst out crying for no obvious reason and at one point withdrew from everything at school. Fortunately, he had great parents and they informed me of the situation. His home life was different but they both did what they could to keep everything as normal as possible.

I had a talk with them and we came up with a plan to "coax" him back to us. Dcb thought that divorce meant that they were going to leave him and his sibs as well as each other. Broke my heart. I asked the parents if Dcb was having a particularly bad day, could he call one or the other and they agreed. I thought it would be an everyday thing but after 2 weeks he came around.

What worked for me was the ability to call mom or dad if needed with the understanding that he would not be picked up, giving an ear when he needed to talk, giving him space to be alone without anyone asking 100 questions, and lots of hugs.

Good luck with your little one. Your best bet would be to tell the parents of your concerns. Prayerfully, the 3 of you can get together to help him get through this. It's not a good situation for a child of any age.

thank you for being the only one to respond to the post.

I did all and talk to the mom last night and just told her that we needed to work together. Also, no more ugliness with DCD. Even if it is behind closed doors, DCK still senses it. I also said please dont bash dad and don't make false promises to your child. She agreed and you could tell she felt bad. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming her for it, but her actions towards DCK are not healthy for the little one.

I decided to just try to be a little more sensitive to him and ignore that accidents as if they didn't happen. I also made mom bring him a plastic sheet for my DC mat. I know that DCK is embarrassed of this, he tries to hide it.

Again thank you for sharing your story with me. I am praying that it passes soon..Mostly for him, but also because I hate the smell of pee and all the extra clean up too...

[Bookworm]

I just put you on my prayer list. Take care.

[dave4him]

focus on their importance, value, person. Make sure they know they are special, loved, and no matter what they have a destiny of greatness despite whats going on with their parents. Keep on reminding them of how beautiful they are and precious.