Developmental Question

[SimpleMom]

Does anyone know if large-scale tantrums in a 5 yr old has some developmental construct?

They are a really good kid (my own). Always has had a low frustration tolerance and now I am getting concerned because of the screaming tantrums. They have been going on for almost 2 years and niether my hubby nor myself can curb them.

So, wondering if I should get a professional involved to help?

[SimpleMom]

Awwww shucks, I think I just found my answer Maybe I should seek out a good Child Psych.

Typical tantrums in children ages 18 months to age 5 last around 3 minutes, and tantrums lasting longer than 5 minutes, while they may occur sometimes, would not typically occur on a regular basis. Younger children tend to lash out more physically because they don't have the words to express anger or frustration yet, however, by age 4, most children can express anger with words and can also self-calm when upset, something that it sounds like your daughter is having difficulty doing.

I don't want to alarm you, nor can I make a diagnosis, but violent tantrums in ages 3-5 can be associated with mood disorders such as depression or other disruptive disorders of early childhood. I would definitely seek a second opinion and/or schedule an evaluation with a child psychologist as soon as possible to get you and your daughter the help you need.

[Meyou]

Awwww shucks, I think I just found my answer Maybe I should seek out a good Child Psych.

Typical tantrums in children ages 18 months to age 5 last around 3 minutes, and tantrums lasting longer than 5 minutes, while they may occur sometimes, would not typically occur on a regular basis. Younger children tend to lash out more physically because they don't have the words to express anger or frustration yet, however, by age 4, most children can express anger with words and can also self-calm when upset, something that it sounds like your daughter is having difficulty doing.

I don't want to alarm you, nor can I make a diagnosis, but violent tantrums in ages 3-5 can be associated with mood disorders such as depression or other disruptive disorders of early childhood. I would definitely seek a second opinion and/or schedule an evaluation with a child psychologist as soon as possible to get you and your daughter the help you need.

You could just have a high strung child too. Or one that has a bad temper and hasn't figured out how to control it yet. My 8 year old can still throw some whoppers. She threw one for 2 hours last night when she had to do literally 15 dishes in the kitchen. We just went downstairs.

I have a terrible temper. I had out of control tantrums well into my teen years. There wasn't anything wrong with me...I just didn't know how to deal with all the emotions that would flood my head. As i got older I learned coping techniques and I'm teaching them to my dd. I still flood with feelings to this day but I can deal now.

[Blackcat31]

LOL!! So NOT making light of this but my DD is 23 and that girl can still get bent out of shape over simple little things. She will tighten up her legs and throw what DH and I affectionately call the "rubber leg dance" as she has been a master of this since she was a toddler. ::.

I think some people (children and adults) simply have low frustration levels and coupled with poor coping skills, they tend to have outbursts. It doesn't necessarily mean she has anything wrong with her, just that she needs to be taught some coping skills.

Perhaps she can try walking away from whatever gets her going, take a deep breath, close her eyes and count to 10, go outside and scream out loud for 1 minute etc etc..

If I were you I would try to research things you can do to help her learn to cope with frustration and find that little trick that works for her. Everyone is different and each person has that one thing that works.....help her find hers. (and be super glad that they do grow up and move out!! LOL!! )

[jojosmommy]

Does your school district have developmental screening that includes social emotional questionnaires? We use the asqse which asks questions that pinpoint the root of things like this. Child psychologists can also do this if they use the asqse. Definitely long tantrums can be an issue as can kids who can't move on from one.

[Ariana]

Developmentally speaking tantrums beyond 18 months are usually due to the child getting what they want through tantrums. So usually I would look at the sitation at home and if the parents give into tantrums then it explains the behavior. However if the parents do not give into the behavior and tantrums are still persisting then I would seek professional help. The earlier the better as it may relate to a psychological issue which can be dealt with. If you know in your heart you are giving in then the solution is quite simple.

Good luck