DCB Won't Eat...Even At Home...

[CrayolaKids]

I have a dcb 4 who is now coming full time one week and is with his bio. mother the whole next week. Well yesterday was his first full time day here (he's been coming part time in the afternoons here for over 6 months, so no, he isn't new here) and they arrive at 640am. At drop-off, dcm says that he wouldn't eat supper the night before so they had to grind up his food so he would eat it. She said he wouldn't eat his breakfast that morning for her and told him he wouldn't get anything to eat until we have lunch here. We have breakfast at 8am, I offered him some and he said he wasn't hungry at all. We don't eat lunch until 11am, and by 10am he was saying he was hungry (I though ok, good! maybe he will eat for me!). Lunch time comes around, I made porcupine meatballs which even my picky eaters at all of. I gave him 3 small meatballs and cut them up into small pieces. It took him 45 minutes to eat the meat..and didn't touch his grapes or beans...and only one drink out of his milk. He would sit there with one bite in his mouth and chew for 15 minutes. He just won't swallow the food! This morning at drop-off dcm says that they had the same problem again last night and this morning ( so this child has barely eaten a thing since sunday afternoon) and about 15 minutes after mom left he says he doesn't feel good so I tell him to go lay down. 5 minutes after that he says he feel like he has to throw up and about 10 minutes later he does throw up. I call dcm to come get the boys (she was NOT happy at all).

I'm just at a loss for what to do with him to get him to eat, I'm fairly positive the reason he threw up was because he hasn't eaten anything and his stomach hurts (of course I'm not 100% so I had to send him home). Dcm gets here and is pretty upset with dcb because she has to miss work today, yells at him while they are still here because he isn't eating (which I think is part of the issue). He has eaten here before and would do just fine for me, this is the first time I've ever had a problem with him eating. Any suggestions as to what I can do?

[daycare123]

any fever? Maybe he has a sore throat or strep, that would make him not want to swallow as it would be painful. I would suggest she take him to the dr.

[CrayolaKids]

Nope, no fever or sore throat. I sat down yesterday with him and talked to him. He says his throat doesn't hurt at all, but "sometimes it hurts to swallow". Dcm basically brushes it off as behavioral, but I wonder if some of this isn't a little deeper than that kwim? They have a very dynamic family situation, and dcm and dcd have been in a custody battle with dcb biological mother for a while now. Dcm is very hard on this boy, which I don't think helps the situation either.

[Lilbutterflie]

We had a nasty stomach bug come through here a couple weeks ago. Thankfully, only my family got it and since I closed during this time; none of the daycare kids got it!! It was almost 12 hours of vomitting and diarrhea. For about a week afterwards, we didn't eat well at all. And at times thinking about food got us nauseous and my husband and son (with weaker stomachs) would threw up. Our stomachs were still very sensitive from vomitting so much. Perhaps he got this bug or one like it while with his bio mom and he is still recovering?

If it were me, I'd chalk it up to feeling ill and cut him a little slack. If he doesn't eat, that's ok. He will eat when he is hungry. If he throws up again, send him home. If this still goes on after a week or so; recommend he see a doctor. Also, it couldn't hurt to have DCM discuss with his bio mom. Ask if he is eating with her, and if so, WHAT he is eating with her. Ask if he was feeling ill with her at all. Keep an open line of communication with all parents involved, and watch this little boy for fever, lethargy, and dehydration.

[Lilbutterflie]

Forgot to mention this. The stomach bug we got did not come with a fever at all! Only symptoms were nausea, vomitting and diarrhea. And nausea and lack of eating for 2 weeks after. So it very well could be that he had something like it.

[Ariana]

Does he complain fo stomach pain? Do you think this is caused by anxiety? If he's being yelled at, at home, then maybe he's developed issues around food. A sign of emotional abuse can be excessive anxiety and complaining of stomach pains.

Another thing I'm thinking is perhaps her has a medical issue like IBS or allergies causing him pain when he's eating. A friend of mine has a condition where his throat starts closing when he swallows so he has to eat really slowly or he will choke. Might be something to look into as well. It's hard though because unless the mom takes him to the DR or works with him to try and figure tis out there isn't much you can do besides being patient and perhaps making him smoothies which are easy to swallow. You can add all sorts of good stuff to it like protein powder, flax seed, fruit, veggies etc.

[Countrygal]

I had a child like this I posted on a couple of weeks ago. He has been here about a month now, and he is FINALLY starting to eat.

Because of most of the advice I received on this forum, I just kept giving him all of the food in VERY small proportions, and if he ate it and wanted more, he could have it. I do use the "two bite" suggestion, and he usually would do that.

While I don't normally let children sit at the table for 45 mins, I did with him because I wanted him to see that he was missing out on play time if he didn't eat.

Now, we have graduated to eating most of what I put on his plate and occasionally even eating it all and taking seconds.

I still give him about 1/2 of what I give the other children, but he's doing much better.

IMO, it was just that everything was new for him, including the food. A way of expressing his displeasure at being where he maybe didn't really want to be, or at least where he felt insecure.

It was very hard for me to see him not eating every day, but he did come around. Just wanted to give you some hope!