What Is Wrong With Kids These Days?

[MrsB]

I am a firm believer in consequences. My kids all know how much I love them. But they also know that I stand NO nonsense.

I rarely use time out because I find 99% of the time it's useless.

Had one child who hit a buddy who then snitched on him. He did his 3 minutes in time out......then went back in the playroom and hit the victim twice as hard for snitching. Three more minutes. He wasn't bothered in the slightest and it taught him absolutely NOTHING.

But make him lose his art project that afternoon? THAT got his attention.

I'm with Mac60 100% on this one.

Nobody (including Mac!) says you have to beat a child to a pulp to discipline them! But kids today are waaaaaay under-disciplined. Of course you have the odd few who respond to time out and are little angels...but step back and look at kids as a whole and it's OBVIOUS that that approach doesn't work most of the time.

Each generation gets worse as each generation of parents are told that looking wrong at Princess will hurt her feelings......

I'm with Mac60 on the lack of discipline being a HUGE part of the issue too!happyfacehappyface

I will even go as far to tell you that I have on a few occasions spanked my own kids. Mostly because I told them that is what their punishment was going to be and I had to follow thru!

I am just wanting to point out that the cause of lack of discipline doesnt have anything to do with physical punishments being allowed in schools or by daycare providers. Which is what she inferred.

[Meeko]

LOL!!!!



It also helps to have parents who consistently follow through with whatever form of discipline they use....I think THAT is a big reason we see so many issues.....if parents threaten continuously and then fail to follow through, the children KNOW they can run the show.

Amen to this! I used to tend children who lived down the road from me. Their mother would scream things like "I'm gonna put you in a (insert expletive here) body bag if you don't get outta the road!" Her kids would laugh at her and never listen because of silly threats they knew would never happen.

[SilverSabre25]

In defense of Silver......mac60's post implied spanking, and based on her previous posts as a member here, it is known that she does think spanking is appropriate and neccessary discipline.

I personally never used spanking as a tool for managing behavior, but do not judge those who do......it's a personal choice for parents. So long as it doesn't cross the line into abuse, then it's up to the parent. However, I would never recommend it or do it myself and I think as a provider recommending spanking, well, it would make me wonder, as a parent, if I want my child in the care of a person who believes spanking is the form of discipline that is most effective.

Thank you, Crystal. That's exactly what I was thinking when I wrote the post--I may have only been here for 18ish months but I've seen plenty of mac's posts in defense of spanking, and several proclaiming spanking to be superior in most ways. I have seen mac write post after post about "all of today's children' and "all of today's parents" and many saying that the only thing wrong with the world is that parents don't discipline...and I want to know what she DOES consider appropriate if time outs and redirection are so "laughable".

In the meantime, Imac, am really, truly wanting answers to the questions I asked you, mac--your stance on discipline absolutely boggles my mind because it is counter to everything I personally have experienced in my life. I was RAISED in a family that abhors spanking and was RAISED with the idea that there are many better techniques. I went to a preschool that used gentle methods and has for over 30 years. I learned the gentler stuff in college and saw it work brilliantly in OSU's lab school. I watched my sisters raise their children with the SAME parenting styles we were raised with, and now I am raising my own children and daycare children with those same philosophies and I have wonderful children and daycare children who ONLY misbehave for their parents...who mostly use those "other" methods, and use them incorrectly (time outs being overused) AND they spank.

Which is why I asked you what I did. It is TOTALLY counter to my ENTIRE life. I want to understand...even if I don't agree.

[SunshineMama]

I might hit a hot button issue here, but I think it goes back to the women's movement. We've swung a bit too far and put women's careers ahead of our children. Children need their parents - quantity time, especially babies.

I'm not disagreeing that other things aren't playing into children's behavior these days, I agree that the electronics are out of control, and that being our child's best friend, is not in their best interests. Nutrition is another huge factor, and over medicating for ADD, ADHD can be a problem, too.

How about one year of maternity leave, paid, with job security at the end of the year? Many other countries do that, and it would give mothers a chance to bond during that precious first year. Let's be honest, does a 6 week old newborn baby really belong with anyone else but the mother? Society has made it so that new mothers HAVE to work. The women's movement was about choice, and now most of us women don't have a choice. We have to work.

Many of us have chosen to work at home. No, it's not the same, but it's better (at least in my experience) for me to be with my children and be the one to influence them. It is a huge financial sacrafice, but at least, as working mom/daycare providers, we can be there for them.

Nutrition and over-medication are HUGE problems too. How do you expect a child to behave without adequate sleep and pumped up on chocolate milk and Burger Kind cini-minis for breakfast? (Pop a pill- that's how). These pills are restructuring their brain wiring and their brains never develop properly.

[Crystal]

How about one year of maternity leave, paid, with job security at the end of the year? Many other countries do that, and it would give mothers a chance to bond during that precious first year. Let's be honest, does a 6 week old newborn baby really belong with anyone else but the mother? Society has made it so that new mothers HAVE to work. The women's movement was about choice, and now most of us women don't have a choice. We have to work.

Many of us have chosen to work at home. No, it's not the same, but it's better (at least in my experience) for me to be with my children and be the one to influence them. It is a huge financial sacrafice, but at least, as working mom/daycare providers, we can be there for them.

Nutrition and over-medication are HUGE problems too. How do you expect a child to behave without adequate sleep and pumped up on chocolate milk and Burger Kind cini-minis for breakfast? (Pop a pill- that's how). These pills are restructuring their brain wiring and their brains never develop properly.

I really think that it is less about society and more about people thinking they have to keep up with the joneses.....we have become a very materialistic country......women with working husbands (or vice versa) don't really HAVE to work.....they HAVE to work because of the choices they make....having to have a new car every few years, having to have the latest iphone or ipad, having to have, HAVE, HAVE......

It comes down to setting priorities........is HAVING more, more important than raising yuor family?

[Blackcat31]

I really think that it is less about society and more about people thinking they have to keep up with the joneses.....we have become a very materialistic country......women with working husbands (or vice versa) don't really HAVE to work.....they HAVE to work because of the choices they make....having to have a new car every few years, having to have the latest iphone or ipad, having to have, HAVE, HAVE......

It comes down to setting priorities........is HAVING more, more important than raising yuor family?

yes! There is a monumental difference between having to work and wanting to work.

[CheekyChick]

From my experience, many parents will go to ANY length NOT to upset their child.

You don't want to wear your jacket in the snow? Okay.

You don't want to eat your veggies? Okay.

You don't want to go to sleep? Okay.

You don't want to share with your friends? Okay.

You don't want to take a bath? Okay.

I see parents cow-towing to their children almost every day. One parent (recently) was going to take off her child's jacekt and she sat there and waited because she said he responds better if she gives him time before taking it off. REALLY??? In my day, I took off my children's coats. Simple as that.

I've seen a child throw a FIT because the child wanted mommy to take her out of her car seat and not daddy. Then daddy is practically begging his little girl to forgive him for upsetting her.

The fact is, CHILDREN are in charge and that is why they don't respond well at day care. They are used to running the show at home and they will throw MASSIVE fits if not allowed to be the kings and queens that they've been told they are.

[greenhouse]

Kids are sad and unfulfilled these days and it shows up in beahavior issues. You can discipline all you want but if you are unloading your kids into daycare 40-50 hours a week since birth its a recipe for an unhappy child. Mix in too much tech, poor diet, uneven rules...there you go. Quality family time is low on the priority list. As a PP said its "hot button", but mom needs to say home in the early years or at least keep it part time. I'll never regret the sacrifices we made for me to stay home. I know there are special circumstances, single moms, etc. but there are some families who just want things and "me time" at the cost of their kids development.

[MrsB]

Although I think over-medicating and over-diagnosing of certain things can be part of the issue. Please be mindful when using these blanket statements about medication and ADHD.

My son has ADHD and PDD-NOS and is medicated. ONLY because we tried 500 million billion things. Medication along with specific behavior techiniques, a balanced diet, a life skills coach and amazing parents is what has made him an amazing, smart, loving young man today. (He's 10) He still has along way to go, but we are making progress, which is more than I can say when he was unmedicated.

The only reason I bring this up is because over the years, I have been ridiculed about medicating my son, or that he isnt really ADHD just need proper discipline. There is a big stigma in regards to ADHD/ADD and medication. Every parent who I have ever met with a child who has ADHD/ADD and chose medication has at one time or another felt like they needed to defend themselves against judgements.

My point just proven... I just totally defended and explained myself. :::: I give up!

[Unregistered]

Oh the wonderful parents

Kids are misbehaved because there is no discipline! even the parents get mad if i put their kid in a time out for 2 minutes .. ugh sorry no your kid isn't going to hit whoever and do whatever they want!!!! there are rules!!! and the parents say" oh little suzy never hits, i wonder where she got that from!" TGIF

[daycare]

theres nothing wrong with the children these days.
Its that everything is wrong with their parents

[greenhouse]

theres nothing wrong with the children these days.
Its that everything is wrong with their parents

I can't like this enough. happyface

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

theres nothing wrong with the children these days.
Its that everything is wrong with their parents

Indeed! x 100,000,000!

[Kaddidle Care]

Honestly, in reading other posts here and other places, I dont' have all the bad kids, . So, why so many behavioral issues, attention issues, etc? Is it all the technology overload? Insufficient nutrients in food? Too many immunizations? Parenting problems? Man, one day there will not be a person physically or emotionally able to care for more than 1 or 2 kids at a time if it progresses! It is amazing how simple the rules can be, yet, they misbehave and choose not to listen and get into trouble over and over an over. It is tiring! TGIF!

You said a mouthful hon!

No doesn't seem to be used enough or enforced.

It's very simple indeed. No means No.

Time to kick back and enjoy your own. Have a great weekend all!

[MN Mom]

I really think that it is less about society and more about people thinking they have to keep up with the joneses.....we have become a very materialistic country......women with working husbands (or vice versa) don't really HAVE to work.....they HAVE to work because of the choices they make....having to have a new car every few years, having to have the latest iphone or ipad, having to have, HAVE, HAVE......

It comes down to setting priorities........is HAVING more, more important than raising yuor family?

Spot On Crystal!!!!