What Is Wrong With Kids These Days?

[sahm2three]

Honestly, in reading other posts here and other places, I dont' have all the bad kids, . So, why so many behavioral issues, attention issues, etc? Is it all the technology overload? Insufficient nutrients in food? Too many immunizations? Parenting problems? Man, one day there will not be a person physically or emotionally able to care for more than 1 or 2 kids at a time if it progresses! It is amazing how simple the rules can be, yet, they misbehave and choose not to listen and get into trouble over and over an over. It is tiring! TGIF!

[mac60]

What a great post....What is wrong? Discipline has totally been taken away from children. Everyone is so worried about hurting their feelings, telling them no, don't want to give them boundries, so many have construde discipline in to thinking it is child abuse, which in itself is asinine. The behaviors of todays kids are a direct result of poor parenting, and poor discipline. Not disciplining a child is just as bad a child abuse. When they took discipline out of the schools, then don't allow a daycare provider to discipline a child that is in their care for 10 hours 5 days a week. Seriously, what does society expect. And no, putting a child in time out for the minutes they are old is not discipline, it is laughable though. And redirecting, another laughable moment in my day.

Everything is given a crazy label. A child misbehaves, he is labeled so then he has an excuse for the bad behavior, instead of the parent stepping up and being a parent. It has been a rough day so far. I hear ya on misbehaved kids. ***. Is is 5 0'clock yet? Each year that passes, the situation gets worse.

[cheerfuldom]

yes it is tiring! But most of us have normal kids with normal parents in our care, we just dont post or vent about them

I think the biggest thing is that there is no prep work done by most parents when they beginning parenting journeys. They just do what is easiest now, fly by the seat of their pants, dont think about the consequences for their parenting style. As the Baby Whisperer puts it....."accidental parenting"

[Blackcat31]

I think the biggest thing is that there is no prep work done by most parents when they beginning parenting journeys. They just do what is easiest now, fly by the seat of their pants, dont think about the consequences for their parenting style. As the Baby Whisperer puts it....."accidental parenting"

Yes, I agree that a lot of parents just do whatever is easiest since the majority of a child's awake time is spent with someone else.

First daycare, then school, then workplace and eventually spouse. Those places are the ones who are having to address the fallout from these "quick fixes" that parents have become reliant upon to make it through the day.

So basically my answer to this issue is lack of face-time with their parent.

If the parent (and NOT the daycare, school, workplace and spouse) had to suffer the consequences of these short term fixes for long term problems, there would a whole lot less issues with kids.

[daycare]

It seems like most of my parents waited until they were older to have kids. They all seem to still be stuck in the "all about me" phase, like when they didn't have kids.

Now, they are not making the time for their kids. One of my dcM says all the time, UGH I hate that they put my show on at 9pm, same time DCK goes to bed. SO now DCK stays up and watches it with me and I just let him fall asleep on the couch.... HUH I asked her is the tv show really that much more important? SHe rolled her eyes and said it's what I wait for all day. I told her to get tivo...

UGH......

[SilverSabre25]

What a great post....What is wrong? Discipline has totally been taken away from children. Everyone is so worried about hurting their feelings, telling them no, don't want to give them boundries, so many have construde discipline in to thinking it is child abuse, which in itself is asinine. The behaviors of todays kids are a direct result of poor parenting, and poor discipline. Not disciplining a child is just as bad a child abuse. When they took discipline out of the schools, then don't allow a daycare provider to discipline a child that is in their care for 10 hours 5 days a week. Seriously, what does society expect. And no, putting a child in time out for the minutes they are old is not discipline, it is laughable though. And redirecting, another laughable moment in my day.

Everything is given a crazy label. A child misbehaves, he is labeled so then he has an excuse for the bad behavior, instead of the parent stepping up and being a parent. It has been a rough day so far. I hear ya on misbehaved kids. ***. Is is 5 0'clock yet? Each year that passes, the situation gets worse.

Sooo....you feel that spanking is the only acceptable course of action for every single infraction a child can possibly commit? May I ask how you ever teach a child how they are supposed to behave? You do know that children aren't born perfect, right?

Redirection has its place. Time out has its place. Sure, they have to be used correctly and many people don't...apparently YOU don't. But if you took the time to open your mind and LEARN how to implement these techniques correctly, to learn to, perhaps, respect children, and understand children, and understand that children need to be TAUGHT not punished, maybe you would have better luck.

SOME of us never spank and have perfectly wonderfully behaved children. SOME of us happily find the labels that explain the misbehavior...and then work to get around the behavior within the context of the larger challenge.

[PixieFirefly]

so agreed!! 3yrs ago I was gona start my own home daycare well this very thing is why i changed my mind! I was like kids are just so bad these days and you cant discipline them and obviously the parents dont do it! but i decided 2 weeks ago Child Care is my calling and I am just gona have to come up with a discipline plan for the children and if i have to much trouble with a child then I will have to let the parent know their child is no longer welcome back and why

[meganlavonnesmommy]

Sooo....you feel that spanking is the only acceptable course of action for every single infraction a child can possibly commit? May I ask how you ever teach a child how they are supposed to behave? You do know that children aren't born perfect, right?

Redirection has its place. Time out has its place. Sure, they have to be used correctly and many people don't...apparently YOU don't. But if you took the time to open your mind and LEARN how to implement these techniques correctly, to learn to, perhaps, respect children, and understand children, and understand that children need to be TAUGHT not punished, maybe you would have better luck.

SOME of us never spank and have perfectly wonderfully behaved children. SOME of us happily find the labels that explain the misbehavior...and then work to get around the behavior within the context of the larger challenge.

Mac 60 didnt mention anything about spanking. I think you are jumping to conclusions a bit. She said children are lacking discipline. Discipline is not spanking, its concequences for your actions, and learning respect. In the dictionary it is described as "punishment, instruction, traingin that corrects, molds or perfects the mental faculties or moral character, control gained by enforcing obedience or order".
There are many forms of discipline that do not involve spanking, or time outs, or re-direction.
I completely agree with her post. Children today lack discipline, respect and consequences. They know they can get away with whatever they want, because they know nothing will happen to them.

In my home if a child hits, then he is removed from the other children and not allowed to participate in the fun we are having. My child misbehaved at school, and he had to write an apology to his teacher, then lost all his tv/video game/ outside playtime for the weeked. If a child isnt sharing toys, then the toy he isnt sharing is removed and he no longer has that toy to play with. If a child refuses to put on his shoes (6 years old), then he gets to walk to the bus stop without shoes, and his feet get cold. If a child throws a fit because he got a blue lipop, and he wanted a red one, then he doesnt get a lipop at all, and gets to watch his friends eat them while he has none.

Its about consequences, and learning what happens when you misbehave. Just last night I saw a child, about 3 throwing a huge knock down drag out hissy fit in Mcdonalds because he didnt like the toy he got in his happy meal. He was yelling, screaming and throwing himself on the floor. Guess what mom did, went up to the counter and asked for a different toy. Guess what that taught that boy. That if he acts like that, he gets what he wants.

Parents are so afraid to say no, to deprive their kids, or just too tired to deal with it. They need to be firm, and consistant.

[sahm2three]

Mac 60 didnt mention anything about spanking. I think you are jumping to conclusions a bit. She said children are lacking discipline. Discipline is not spanking, its concequences for your actions, and learning respect. In the dictionary it is described as "punishment, instruction, traingin that corrects, molds or perfects the mental faculties or moral character, control gained by enforcing obedience or order".
There are many forms of discipline that do not involve spanking, or time outs, or re-direction.
I completely agree with her post. Children today lack discipline, respect and consequences. They know they can get away with whatever they want, because they know nothing will happen to them.

In my home if a child hits, then he is removed from the other children and not allowed to participate in the fun we are having. My child misbehaved at school, and he had to write an apology to his teacher, then lost all his tv/video game/ outside playtime for the weeked. If a child isnt sharing toys, then the toy he isnt sharing is removed and he no longer has that toy to play with. If a child refuses to put on his shoes (6 years old), then he gets to walk to the bus stop without shoes, and his feet get cold. If a child throws a fit because he got a blue lipop, and he wanted a red one, then he doesnt get a lipop at all, and gets to watch his friends eat them while he has none.

Its about consequences, and learning what happens when you misbehave. Just last night I saw a child, about 3 throwing a huge knock down drag out hissy fit in Mcdonalds because he didnt like the toy he got in his happy meal. He was yelling, screaming and throwing himself on the floor. Guess what mom did, went up to the counter and asked for a different toy. Guess what that taught that boy. That if he acts like that, he gets what he wants.

Parents are so afraid to say no, to deprive their kids, or just too tired to deal with it. They need to be firm, and consistant.

[sahm2three]

I really do honestly think it is something else in addition to parenting though. There are so many kids with attention issues and etc. So many with delays. Why? I know our foods are so depleted. The number of immunizations given to kids is going up all the time. Kids don't know how to just "play" without something electronic telling them what to do or HOW to play. Sad. I am slowly getting rid of battery operated toys. I can't stand it. Parents are always saying "He/she is fussy/tired, might be a good movie/cartoon day." We hardly EVER watch tv. Not that it is all bad, I love to watch some tv, as sometimes I need some time to shut off my brain. But there is SOOOOOO much technology. Too much. What ever happened to hours of riding bikes, playing ball, hide and seek? Ugh. Guess I am just tired of the "I'm bored" "We have nothing to do" attitude.

[cheerfuldom]

too much screen time and entertaining toys is definitely part of the issue!

[MsMe]

Mac 60 didnt mention anything about spanking. I think you are jumping to conclusions a bit. She said children are lacking discipline. Discipline is not spanking, its concequences for your actions, and learning respect. In the dictionary it is described as "punishment, instruction, traingin that corrects, molds or perfects the mental faculties or moral character, control gained by enforcing obedience or order".
There are many forms of discipline that do not involve spanking, or time outs, or re-direction.
I completely agree with her post. Children today lack discipline, respect and consequences. They know they can get away with whatever they want, because they know nothing will happen to them.

In my home if a child hits, then he is removed from the other children and not allowed to participate in the fun we are having. My child misbehaved at school, and he had to write an apology to his teacher, then lost all his tv/video game/ outside playtime for the weeked. If a child isnt sharing toys, then the toy he isnt sharing is removed and he no longer has that toy to play with. If a child refuses to put on his shoes (6 years old), then he gets to walk to the bus stop without shoes, and his feet get cold. If a child throws a fit because he got a blue lipop, and he wanted a red one, then he doesnt get a lipop at all, and gets to watch his friends eat them while he has none.

Its about consequences, and learning what happens when you misbehave. Just last night I saw a child, about 3 throwing a huge knock down drag out hissy fit in Mcdonalds because he didnt like the toy he got in his happy meal. He was yelling, screaming and throwing himself on the floor. Guess what mom did, went up to the counter and asked for a different toy. Guess what that taught that boy. That if he acts like that, he gets what he wants.

Parents are so afraid to say no, to deprive their kids, or just too tired to deal with it. They need to be firm, and consistant.

I agree mac 60 didn't say anything about spanking.

I also agree that many of my parents are all about "me" time as well. They take days, sometimes weeks, off of work to stay at home and have time to themselves and never spend an extra minute with their children.

[MyAngels]

Mac 60 didnt mention anything about spanking. I think you are jumping to conclusions a bit. She said children are lacking discipline. Discipline is not spanking, its concequences for your actions, and learning respect. In the dictionary it is described as "punishment, instruction, traingin that corrects, molds or perfects the mental faculties or moral character, control gained by enforcing obedience or order".
There are many forms of discipline that do not involve spanking, or time outs, or re-direction.
I completely agree with her post. Children today lack discipline, respect and consequences. They know they can get away with whatever they want, because they know nothing will happen to them.

In my home if a child hits, then he is removed from the other children and not allowed to participate in the fun we are having. My child misbehaved at school, and he had to write an apology to his teacher, then lost all his tv/video game/ outside playtime for the weeked. If a child isnt sharing toys, then the toy he isnt sharing is removed and he no longer has that toy to play with. If a child refuses to put on his shoes (6 years old), then he gets to walk to the bus stop without shoes, and his feet get cold. If a child throws a fit because he got a blue lipop, and he wanted a red one, then he doesnt get a lipop at all, and gets to watch his friends eat them while he has none.

Its about consequences, and learning what happens when you misbehave. Just last night I saw a child, about 3 throwing a huge knock down drag out hissy fit in Mcdonalds because he didnt like the toy he got in his happy meal. He was yelling, screaming and throwing himself on the floor. Guess what mom did, went up to the counter and asked for a different toy. Guess what that taught that boy. That if he acts like that, he gets what he wants.

Parents are so afraid to say no, to deprive their kids, or just too tired to deal with it. They need to be firm, and consistant.

Another vote

Discussions like this are already hot button issues - we should think twice about jumping to conclusions (not to mention on our soapboxes ) about another poster's intent.

[Crystal]

In defense of Silver......mac60's post implied spanking, and based on her previous posts as a member here, it is known that she does think spanking is appropriate and neccessary discipline.

I personally never used spanking as a tool for managing behavior, but do not judge those who do......it's a personal choice for parents. So long as it doesn't cross the line into abuse, then it's up to the parent. However, I would never recommend it or do it myself and I think as a provider recommending spanking, well, it would make me wonder, as a parent, if I want my child in the care of a person who believes spanking is the form of discipline that is most effective.

[WImom]

I really do honestly think it is something else in addition to parenting though. There are so many kids with attention issues and etc. So many with delays. Why? I know our foods are so depleted. The number of immunizations given to kids is going up all the time. Kids don't know how to just "play" without something electronic telling them what to do or HOW to play. Sad. I am slowly getting rid of battery operated toys. I can't stand it. Parents are always saying "He/she is fussy/tired, might be a good movie/cartoon day." We hardly EVER watch tv. Not that it is all bad, I love to watch some tv, as sometimes I need some time to shut off my brain. But there is SOOOOOO much technology. Too much. What ever happened to hours of riding bikes, playing ball, hide and seek? Ugh. Guess I am just tired of the "I'm bored" "We have nothing to do" attitude.

I have a kid here (almost 4y) and I can't have anything with electronics because he will just sit there and press the button over and over and over, etc. It's like he needs the noise. I just took away my leapfrog letter magnets and a toaster that dinged when the toast was done because he didn't 'play' with it just pressed the button. My cash register the kids had same thing. I do have a play mixer that I did leave because the other kids love to play baking but when ever he has it I just remind him if he's not baking put it down. (he'll just turn it on and listen to it) I know he and his sibling watch tons of tv.

I feel that the biggest thing that needs to change is kids/adults need to learn that they don't always get their way. I think that's why there is so much crime. I want it so I'll do what ever I can to get it.
If every child comes out of my childcare knowing just that I will be happy. (sadly I try with a few but every Monday I have to start all over)