What Is Wrong With Kids These Days?

[Crystal]

Sooo....you feel that spanking is the only acceptable course of action for every single infraction a child can possibly commit? May I ask how you ever teach a child how they are supposed to behave? You do know that children aren't born perfect, right?

Redirection has its place. Time out has its place. Sure, they have to be used correctly and many people don't...apparently YOU don't. But if you took the time to open your mind and LEARN how to implement these techniques correctly, to learn to, perhaps, respect children, and understand children, and understand that children need to be TAUGHT not punished, maybe you would have better luck.

SOME of us never spank and have perfectly wonderfully behaved children. SOME of us happily find the labels that explain the misbehavior...and then work to get around the behavior within the context of the larger challenge.

ITA.

[SunshineMama]

Honestly, in reading other posts here and other places, I dont' have all the bad kids, . So, why so many behavioral issues, attention issues, etc? Is it all the technology overload? Insufficient nutrients in food? Too many immunizations? Parenting problems? Man, one day there will not be a person physically or emotionally able to care for more than 1 or 2 kids at a time if it progresses! It is amazing how simple the rules can be, yet, they misbehave and choose not to listen and get into trouble over and over an over. It is tiring! TGIF!

d). All of the above

Kids these days dont have enough parental influence. Both parents are forced to work long hours, and then when they get home they have to (especially the moms) cook, clean, care for the kids, pay the bills, etc etc. People are overwhelmed, and they are just too tired to make the effort to discipline their kids. I know personally, there are some days where I tell DH at the end of the day that I am done parenting for the day, and that he has to take over. (This means that he does the bedtime routine and I get to shower in peace- a rare luxury)! I am lucky that (although he doesn't do it the way I would want it done), he is willing to help. A lot of moms aren't so lucky. It takes a village to raise a child.... these days, we providers are managing villages of kids!

[sahm2three]

I am CONVINCED that some of it at least is food related. I buy probably 85 to 90% organic. I made home made organic baked fries today with sea salt. They were amazing! Soooooooo good! The kids wouldn't eat them. One of the boys said, "What are these?" I said, french fries. He said, "They don't look like McDonald's fries."

[MrsB]

It takes a village to raise a child.... these days, we providers are managing villages of kids!

happyfacehappyfacehappyfaceOMGoodness. That is the funniest thing I have heard all week!::::::
Well said!

[Meeko]

What a great post....What is wrong? Discipline has totally been taken away from children. Everyone is so worried about hurting their feelings, telling them no, don't want to give them boundries, so many have construde discipline in to thinking it is child abuse, which in itself is asinine. The behaviors of todays kids are a direct result of poor parenting, and poor discipline. Not disciplining a child is just as bad a child abuse. When they took discipline out of the schools, then don't allow a daycare provider to discipline a child that is in their care for 10 hours 5 days a week. Seriously, what does society expect. And no, putting a child in time out for the minutes they are old is not discipline, it is laughable though. And redirecting, another laughable moment in my day.

Everything is given a crazy label. A child misbehaves, he is labeled so then he has an excuse for the bad behavior, instead of the parent stepping up and being a parent. It has been a rough day so far. I hear ya on misbehaved kids. ***. Is is 5 0'clock yet? Each year that passes, the situation gets worse.

You read my mind!

[Meeko]

Mac 60 didnt mention anything about spanking. I think you are jumping to conclusions a bit. She said children are lacking discipline. Discipline is not spanking, its concequences for your actions, and learning respect. In the dictionary it is described as "punishment, instruction, traingin that corrects, molds or perfects the mental faculties or moral character, control gained by enforcing obedience or order".
There are many forms of discipline that do not involve spanking, or time outs, or re-direction.
I completely agree with her post. Children today lack discipline, respect and consequences. They know they can get away with whatever they want, because they know nothing will happen to them.

In my home if a child hits, then he is removed from the other children and not allowed to participate in the fun we are having. My child misbehaved at school, and he had to write an apology to his teacher, then lost all his tv/video game/ outside playtime for the weeked. If a child isnt sharing toys, then the toy he isnt sharing is removed and he no longer has that toy to play with. If a child refuses to put on his shoes (6 years old), then he gets to walk to the bus stop without shoes, and his feet get cold. If a child throws a fit because he got a blue lipop, and he wanted a red one, then he doesnt get a lipop at all, and gets to watch his friends eat them while he has none.

Its about consequences, and learning what happens when you misbehave. Just last night I saw a child, about 3 throwing a huge knock down drag out hissy fit in Mcdonalds because he didnt like the toy he got in his happy meal. He was yelling, screaming and throwing himself on the floor. Guess what mom did, went up to the counter and asked for a different toy. Guess what that taught that boy. That if he acts like that, he gets what he wants.

Parents are so afraid to say no, to deprive their kids, or just too tired to deal with it. They need to be firm, and consistant.

This! The child at McDonalds should have had his meal thrown in the garbage and taken straight home. Parents have been brow beaten into thinking they must make the child happy under any circumstances.

[mac60]

In defense of Silver......mac60's post implied spanking, and based on her previous posts as a member here, it is known that she does think spanking is appropriate and neccessary discipline.

I personally never used spanking as a tool for managing behavior, but do not judge those who do......it's a personal choice for parents. So long as it doesn't cross the line into abuse, then it's up to the parent. However, I would never recommend it or do it myself and I think as a provider recommending spanking, well, it would make me wonder, as a parent, if I want my child in the care of a person who believes spanking is the form of discipline that is most effective.

Amazing how someone who has never met me and lives on the other side of the country can state things about people. What I say, post, etc, doesn't mean I do it, I really wish you wouldn't try to "elaborate" on what I do considering you don't know me nor have ever met me.

[Meeko]

Time out is a joke.

Three minutes in time out for a 3 year old hitting another child? To them it's WORTH it! Three minutes is nothing!

Then again....maybe I could use that same thinking because I don't like my next door neighbor...her cats are always in my yard.

I could slap her hard and only get 52 minutes time out!!!!! Sooooo worth it!!!!!
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[Unregistered]

This is not just in the daycare world. Check out all the "Brat Ban" stories across the web. MILLIONS of people are tired of it. This is just the tip of the ice burg, it seems.

[MrsB]

Am I missing something? Did Mac60 not say... "When they took discipline out of the schools, then don't allow a daycare provider to discipline a child"?

The only type of disciplining I am not allowed to do as a provider is physical punishment. The only type of disciplining that is not allowed in the schools is physical punishment. So I can easily see how it could be inferred that her opinion on kids bad behavior is a direct result of not being allowed to be physically punished at schools and at daycare, or by parents for fear of being charged with child abuse.

[Crystal]

Amazing how someone who has never met me and lives on the other side of the country can state things about people. What I say, post, etc, doesn't mean I do it, I really wish you wouldn't try to "elaborate" on what I do considering you don't know me nor have ever met me.

I wasn't saying you spank the DCK if that is what you mean???

Honestly Mac, I don't need to "know" you. 7 years of reading your posts has told me alot about you. While I think some of the things you say and do are right on, I disagree with other things.....no different than anybody else.

But, no problem, I won't "elaborate" on what you say/do.....just know that, in this instance, I was defending Silver, not singling you out.

[Crystal]

Time out is a joke.

Three minutes in time out for a 3 year old hitting another child? To them it's WORTH it! Three minutes is nothing!

Then again....maybe I could use that same thinking because I don't like my next door neighbor...her cats are always in my yard.

I could slap her hard and only get 52 minutes time out!!!!! Sooooo worth it!!!!!
::::::::::

LOL!!!!

I do agree that time out is worthless. That is why I don't use it here....it simply is not effective.

I do believe that redirection, limited choice, acknowledgement, etc. are effective if used appropriately. It works for me.

It also helps to have parents who consistently follow through with whatever form of discipline they use....I think THAT is a big reason we see so many issues.....if parents threaten continuously and then fail to follow through, the children KNOW they can run the show.

[Crystal]

Am I missing something? Did Mac60 not say... "When they took discipline out of the schools, then don't allow a daycare provider to discipline a child"?

The only type of disciplining I am not allowed to do as a provider is physical punishment. The only type of disciplining that is not allowed in the schools is physical punishment. So I can easily see how it could be inferred that her opinion on kids bad behavior is a direct result of not being allowed to be physically punished at schools and at daycare, or by parents for fear of being charged with child abuse.

THANK YOU!!!!!! Exactly why I said it was "implied"

[Meeko]

I am a firm believer in consequences. My kids all know how much I love them. But they also know that I stand NO nonsense.

I rarely use time out because I find 99% of the time it's useless.

Had one child who hit a buddy who then snitched on him. He did his 3 minutes in time out......then went back in the playroom and hit the victim twice as hard for snitching. Three more minutes. He wasn't bothered in the slightest and it taught him absolutely NOTHING.

But make him lose his art project that afternoon? THAT got his attention.

I'm with Mac60 100% on this one.

Nobody (including Mac!) says you have to beat a child to a pulp to discipline them! But kids today are waaaaaay under-disciplined. Of course you have the odd few who respond to time out and are little angels...but step back and look at kids as a whole and it's OBVIOUS that that approach doesn't work most of the time.

Each generation gets worse as each generation of parents are told that looking wrong at Princess will hurt her feelings......

[MNMum]

Honestly, in reading other posts here and other places, I dont' have all the bad kids, . So, why so many behavioral issues, attention issues, etc? Is it all the technology overload? Insufficient nutrients in food? Too many immunizations? Parenting problems? Man, one day there will not be a person physically or emotionally able to care for more than 1 or 2 kids at a time if it progresses! It is amazing how simple the rules can be, yet, they misbehave and choose not to listen and get into trouble over and over an over. It is tiring! TGIF!

I might hit a hot button issue here, but I think it goes back to the women's movement. We've swung a bit too far and put women's careers ahead of our children. Children need their parents - quantity time, especially babies.

I'm not disagreeing that other things aren't playing into children's behavior these days, I agree that the electronics are out of control, and that being our child's best friend, is not in their best interests. Nutrition is another huge factor, and over medicating for ADD, ADHD can be a problem, too.

If women weren't so busy working, getting their kids to daycare, and all the extracurriculars that are required now, they could spend more time on nutrition, spending time with their children, and discipline (it is time consuming to be consistent.)