Quick Advice - What Would You Do?

[bunnyslippers]

So my next door neighbor brings her daughter here 5 days a week, full time. We are friends, hang out socially in addition to our business relationship.

This morning, she texted me that her husband was working from home and would be bringing their daughter a little late (he arrived 10 minutes later).

A few minutes ago, my husband saw our other neighbor, who told him that both neighbors took the day off and that they were going to Maine for lunch (a two hour drive from here).

I am annoyed. I am not annoyed that they took the day off together (not something I would choose, but I don't care as long as they pay me). I am annoyed that she didn't tell me she was staying home, and that they took off to Maine without even telling me. What if there had been an emergency? They are 2 hours away?!?! And why did she act like she was going to work? Why not just tell me the truth?

I should probably just let it go, but I am stewing. Thoughts? It is tricky, as they are my neighbors and I see them constantly (small neighborhood - only three houses and our yards are connected). People baffle me sometimes!!!!

[Jewels]

I'm thinking this is one of those situations, where she felt to guilty telling you she was staying home to, because she was worried you'd be mad at her, for still bringing her kid, so she didn't really lie but didn't tell the truth, which she should have done, because doing what she did just always makes things worse. I think its great that mom and dad, went and had a nice lunch with each other, I think thats great, but she should have just told you, instead of side stepping it. anyways I would say something when she picked up, "like oh how was your lunch in maine. And then being nice say, "why didn't you say you were going? being that you guys are friends that wouldn't seem like an odd question,

[jojosmommy]

If it bugs you that much tell them that at pick up time. Mention the emergency thing and tell them you would rather know where they can be reached.

In do care for a neighbor and you really need to be sure it doesn't bother you if they are not actually at work. Doesn't bother me and they know that so they tell me the truth now.

[bunnyslippers]

Thanks, I have calmed down. I don't mind if they stay home, but I do mind the sneakiness. I think my feelings were a little bit hurt by this one. We have a stomach bug going through here again that comes on quickly, and both parents know about that. I wish they could have just told me that they were planning a day together - I wouldn't have cared and I think it is great that they can do that. It was the fact that the mom - who I really am very friendly with - didn't just tell me that she was staying home. I know they are home and they hid their cars in the garage. It just bugs me that they would try to trick me - it just feels weird! I am having a sensitive day...

[Kim]

I'd have to say something if I were in your position. I don't care what the parents do during the day. I'm getting paid for the day so whether they go to work or have a day off it doesn't matter to me. What does matter to me is being able to get in touch with them in an emergency. If they are not going to be at their usual place of work then I need to know that the cell or another number is best for that day. I don't want to waste my time calling several different numbers to track down a parent.

[cheerfuldom]

some people are not good at communicating whatsoever and think it is just easier to go thru all the trouble to avoid confrontation (sneaking around, hiding the cars) when it really would be easier to just be truthful and open. I wouldn't care about the whole situation, I have two to three backup emergency LOCAL numbers to call if need be. All emergency contact numbers have to be local people

[TBird]

some people are not good at communicating whatsoever and think it is just easier to go thru all the trouble to avoid confrontation (sneaking around, hiding the cars) when it really would be easier to just be truthful and open. I wouldn't care about the whole situation, I have two to three backup emergency LOCAL numbers to call if need be. All emergency contact numbers have to be local people

I have to agree with cheerfuldom. It wouldn't bother me because I know that sometimes I want to do things "privately" with my family without even close friends knowing about it. It's just one of "those things". I wouldn't take it personally.lovethis

[Unregistered]

I know just what you mean. You feel irritated but can't quite figure out just what about the situation really bothers you the most. For me I find that I feel somewhat jealous of the dcp who have the option to take days off or leave work early to clean the house with no kids running around their legs. I don't have anywhere to drop my kids off so I can go to lunch in the middle of the day with my husband and when I want to clean I have to do it with my kids running around messing the place up. I used to have a dcm who was also a neighbour and she told me that she worked until 5pm. I soon realized that she actually finished work at 4pm and just went home and made her supper and did some laundry in peace. I felt annoyed because her dd was here from 6:15am to 5:30pm (over 11 hours!) for 25$. It was okay when I thought she was working but when I find out she was just hanging out at home it made me mad. I wanted to say so badly - You are a MOM. Part of being a mom is making supper while trying to entertain your child. We have all done it, it is part of the role! How fair is it to the child to be in daycare for 11 hours a day so she can cook in peace!?