23 Month Old Development Questions

[Unregistered]

So I have a DCB that is 23 months old. His parents speak Tagalog and English, so I know his language skills will be somewhat behind, Im just not sure how far?? As I have some other developmental concerns.

I started caring for him part-time when he was 14 months, then he stopped coming at 16 months and started back at 18 months because we had some issues to resolve with the parents thinking part-time entitled them to take off a week or 2 and not call and then come back and pay when they wanted.....long story.

So he started full time at 18 months and DCM asked me if I provided whole milk or if she needed to, I told her that I do. He was on formula before. Well I worked with him to eat everything under the sun and no such luck. He really has no preference for anything. So I asked DCD...........What do you feed him? and my first response is, oh he likes rice, which I know because that is all his mom will tell me. So I asked what else, response....."um, I do not know, maybe he likes yogurt and banana" well yeah, I was the one that told them that early on...........getting nowhere, parents are limited in their communication.

Then a couple of days ago mom brings DCB before work and says "oh, I have bottle in the bag, I already mixed one for you, so you dont have to mix one" .................Confused....... I have not been giving him formula, so I take the lid off and smell it and sure enough it is formula........He is almost 2!! My opinion is that he shoul NOT have a BOTTLE much less formula! Should I be concerned that he is not eating hardly anything here? Or is the formula substituting enough? I just give him milk, He will eat banana, gold fish, yogurt, cheese, mac and cheese, ravioli, pizza, and these are things I have worked for months to get him to eat and it is in SMALL SMALL quantities, like half of a ravioli ??

His speech development also worries me, DCD keeps pacifier in his mouth always, the only words that he says are words that I have taught him. DCM says that he only knows one word in tagalog, in english he can say, fish, baby, daddy, thanks, hello (eyo) and tia (which is what the other children call me) This is the complete list, should I be concerned, It seems like he should be talking a lot more at almost two, the rest of the time he just says "geeka" all day long which his mom says is not a tagalog word either. They literally bring him to me as soon as he wakes and pick him up at 7:45 every night, So I know most of his development depends on me, and his parent do not seem concerned at all.

I keep his pacifier from him unless it is in dire need, I have tried all kinds of sippy cups but he will not drink from them he only plays with them, throws them, shakes them. He will not drink water, he wont drink juice, he wont even drink sweet tea!

Do you think his overall development is just slow? Am I being overly concerned for this baby for no reason? Just thought I would get some other points of view. Thanks

[daycare]

hi and welcome..

First off you need to understand one thing. People from the Philippines keep their children BABIES for as long as possible. My husband is from there. The first time I visited his home country, I was in shock when I saw a ton of 4 year olds with bottles and pacifiers. So you are also dealing with a culture thing.

My in-laws pretty much raise my niece who is 4.5. She also will only eat rice and bread. She also will not feed herself, dress herself, pretty much they do everything for her. She is also still in diapers.

I think that maybe you should call your food program if you are on it or not and request some information for them to read about the need for milk and being off the bottle at this age.

They should have something in Tagalog for the parents. I know that mine does.

ALso, as far as his speech, just keep working with him. It is difficult for a child to learn two languages at the same time, but it is actually easier than if they were older trying to learn two.

I have a child here that the parents speak limited english and only speak mandarin at home. The child came with zero english words, but within weeks he has a pretty big vocabulary.

With the food, don't battle the child during food time. Serve the food and if he doesnt eat at meal time, then he doesnt eat. He will eat when he is hungry, I promise you this.

Also, the pacifier, I don't allow them here at all. I don't care what parents do at home, but here they are not an option. YOu would be amazed how many kids are Binky dependent at home, but not here. DOn't make it an option and they won't have anything to cry about.

I hope that it all works out well for you....good luck

[Soupyszoo]

He's probably really confused!

Dang! Those are really long hours for him. Do you think they even feed him at home or do you think they leave it all up to you?

I agree, he shouldn't have a bottle much less formula. I've heard of supplementing a poor diet with pediasure or something but never formula. Maybe I'm wrong

[cheerfuldom]

I would never keep a child for those hours. The rest of the issues seem parent-induced and it will be an uphill battle to overcome them. I would imagine that he is given a bottle or a paci, nothing else all day. I know several families from the Philippines and just from what I see, they are very reliant on bottles. One family comes to our church service and will bring 4 to 8 bottles for just the one service! Constant bottles

[littlemommy]

I had parents bring an almost 2 year old with bottles of milk with rice cereal. He wouldn't eat anything here, and his diapers were always diarrhea (sorry if TMI.) The diapers made me wonder if he EVER ate food. His parents always said he was a "picky eater" and said he loved mac n cheese and pizza, and they always offered McDonald's at pick up. I called my food program rep and she said he should not have a bottle, that it is important he learn how to eat with a fork and spoon like other kids his age. I told the mom the food program doesn't allow bottles, so she quit bringing them. It took him a while, but he DID start eating healthy meals at my house. There were even times he asked for seconds!

Long story short...ask your food program lady.

[SunshineMama]

It could be cultural

I have very close Filipino friends. I think that some of what you are experiencing is cultural. My Filipino friend's son was 5 before he was off the bottle. (The dad is a surgeon and the mom is an obstretician). I have noticed this across the board, with several Filipino families. They also eat very differently- you probably wont find the typical toddler food there.

Psychology suggests that bilingual children do take longer to speak, as they are processing two different languages, but I would not be too concerned yet. I watch 2.5 year old twins who barely speak English.

Do your best and offer a variety of foods. There isn't really much comparison between Filipino food and American food, so if he is eating their native food at home its a shock to see yogurt and PB&J. Maybe try cooked carrots/sweet potatoes, etc??

Try to be sensitive to the culture and understand that it is way different from our own. They are a very loving, family oriented culture, and very easygoing, which does leak over to behavioral "issues" (if that's the right word). They also probably do not understand daycare etiquette so it will be important for you to be very clear about your rules, attendance policies, etc.

Hope this helps!

[SunshineMama]

hi and welcome..

First off you need to understand one thing. People from the Philippines keep their children BABIES for as long as possible. My husband is from there. The first time I visited his home country, I was in shock when I saw a ton of 4 year olds with bottles and pacifiers. So you are also dealing with a culture thing.

My in-laws pretty much raise my niece who is 4.5. She also will only eat rice and bread. She also will not feed herself, dress herself, pretty much they do everything for her. She is also still in diapers.

I think that maybe you should call your food program if you are on it or not and request some information for them to read about the need for milk and being off the bottle at this age.

They should have something in Tagalog for the parents. I know that mine does.

ALso, as far as his speech, just keep working with him. It is difficult for a child to learn two languages at the same time, but it is actually easier than if they were older trying to learn two.

I have a child here that the parents speak limited english and only speak mandarin at home. The child came with zero english words, but within weeks he has a pretty big vocabulary.

With the food, don't battle the child during food time. Serve the food and if he doesnt eat at meal time, then he doesnt eat. He will eat when he is hungry, I promise you this.

Also, the pacifier, I don't allow them here at all. I don't care what parents do at home, but here they are not an option. YOu would be amazed how many kids are Binky dependent at home, but not here. DOn't make it an option and they won't have anything to cry about.

I hope that it all works out well for you....good luck

What part of the Phillos is your husband from? My friends are from Baguio City

[daycare]

What part of the Phillos is your husband from? My friends are from Baguio City

cavitie... I dont know if I spell that right or not

[SunshineMama]

cavitie... I dont know if I spell that right or not

Not sure where that is- I know Cainta (maybe the same).

You are right about them wanting their babies for as long as possible. I can't say that their method is bad though- my friend comes from a family of doctors and lawyers- all 11 of them! Maybe they are practicing some form of attachment parenting? LOL- but bottles until 5 or 6 years old are a little odd over here

[daycare]

Not sure where that is- I know Cainta (maybe the same).

You are right about them wanting their babies for as long as possible. I can't say that their method is bad though- my friend comes from a family of doctors and lawyers- all 11 of them! Maybe they are practicing some form of attachment parenting? LOL- but bottles until 5 or 6 years old are a little odd over here

OMG crazy. when I was there, one little boy was about 4 or 5 all of his teeth were rotting out of his head because he drank from a bottle still, he still wore diapers and OMG the parents did everything for him. He ate lipop every chance he had.

Also there is no carseat law over there, so all of the kids are hoping up and down in the cars going all over the place. UGH talk about crazy..

THen his cousins most of them still lived at home age 25-30. Not married and their parents paid everything for them..EVERYTHING. Just like we do our SA children. I was in such shock..

just looked the city up online, its spelled......Cavite City, Philippines it looks very coastal and near the Manilla Bay

[Heidi]

hi and welcome..

First off you need to understand one thing. People from the Philippines keep their children BABIES for as long as possible. My husband is from there. The first time I visited his home country, I was in shock when I saw a ton of 4 year olds with bottles and pacifiers. So you are also dealing with a culture thing.

My in-laws pretty much raise my niece who is 4.5. She also will only eat rice and bread. She also will not feed herself, dress herself, pretty much they do everything for her. She is also still in diapers.

I think that maybe you should call your food program if you are on it or not and request some information for them to read about the need for milk and being off the bottle at this age.

They should have something in Tagalog for the parents. I know that mine does.

ALso, as far as his speech, just keep working with him. It is difficult for a child to learn two languages at the same time, but it is actually easier than if they were older trying to learn two.

I have a child here that the parents speak limited english and only speak mandarin at home. The child came with zero english words, but within weeks he has a pretty big vocabulary.

With the food, don't battle the child during food time. Serve the food and if he doesnt eat at meal time, then he doesnt eat. He will eat when he is hungry, I promise you this.

Also, the pacifier, I don't allow them here at all. I don't care what parents do at home, but here they are not an option. YOu would be amazed how many kids are Binky dependent at home, but not here. DOn't make it an option and they won't have anything to cry about.

I hope that it all works out well for you....good luck

I was JUST going to say: I learned in a class last night (as a side-note), that in many Asian cultures, they prefer children to be dependent much longer. It is not uncommon for them to feed their children (vs. self feeding) until they are school age. I didn't know this...always learning.

I think you should do your best to bring him "up to speed" when you can, without critizing the parents for their cultural beliefs. I would not give him a bottle or pacifier (except maybe to sleep) while he's at your house. I am pro-pacifier, just not during waking hours when they are over 1.

[momma2girls]

I was JUST going to say: I learned in a class last night (as a side-note), that in many Asian cultures, they prefer children to be dependent much longer. It is not uncommon for them to feed their children (vs. self feeding) until they are school age. I didn't know this...always learning.

I think you should do your best to bring him "up to speed" when you can, without critizing the parents for their cultural beliefs. I would not give him a bottle or pacifier (except maybe to sleep) while he's at your house. I am pro-pacifier, just not during waking hours when they are over 1.

I have an almost 2 yr. old little daycare child. He only has the pacifier here at naptime, and that was a struggle for the Mom to see!! He has it 24/7 at their house!!! He only says about 10-15 words- he worries me as well. I think at the age of 2, I will actually say more to the Mom about him not saying much at all. I have talked to her before on the pacifier, and him not saying hardly anything at all!!! The parents are very niave (spelling wrong) and don't see things correctly. They also don't have a clue sometimes, with certain things!!

[daycare]

I have an almost 2 yr. old little daycare child. He only has the pacifier here at naptime, and that was a struggle for the Mom to see!! He has it 24/7 at their house!!! He only says about 10-15 words- he worries me as well. I think at the age of 2, I will actually say more to the Mom about him not saying much at all. I have talked to her before on the pacifier, and him not saying hardly anything at all!!! The parents are very niave (spelling wrong) and don't see things correctly. They also don't have a clue sometimes, with certain things!!

I dont worry about what goes on at home, as long as its not abuse. I cant control what happens there and same for them here.

I don't ever bring stuff up like this to the parents. If they say my kid needs a pacifier, I say sorry we don't do those here.

If they are behind on speech, I won't bring it up. I will wait until they are about 3.5-4 then if they are still behind, then I will say something only once. AND i ask them to ask their doctor about it,,,,,,

[momma2girls]

I dont worry about what goes on at home, as long as its not abuse. I cant control what happens there and same for them here.

I don't ever bring stuff up like this to the parents. If they say my kid needs a pacifier, I say sorry we don't do those here.

If they are behind on speech, I won't bring it up. I will wait until they are about 3.5-4 then if they are still behind, then I will say something only once. AND i ask them to ask their doctor about it,,,,,,

Yeah, but me being a nurse, the poor child should have early intervention and have speech pathologists working with him. I will wait til the age of 2 and suggest it to them.

[Unregistered]

I completely agree with everything you all are saying, I only give him his pacifier at nap time and in the past month I have stopped that unless he is considerably cranky. His dad is a surgical nurse and his mom is a physical therapist so I know that they understand the effects of him keeping the bottle and pacifier all the time. I think I will stop giving him bottles also. I am going to have to inform mom that I do not supply formula if this was her thoughts, she only asked if I offered milk when he started back. When he was younger they always brought formula so surely she does not expect that I am buying it for him now.

The only thing that I dont understand is that she is always telling me not to baby him that he can walk, or he can do this or that by himself. I know that their family life is a little hard right now bc she is taking care of her dad also, and yet they leave there 9 year old home by himself since DCB first started here, bc daycare is too expensive!

All in all I have had the little guy for about 9 months so I have definetly become attached to him, he is my youngest so he does get babyed a lot. I just want to make sure he is reaching his potential and progressing with things.