DCK Who Just Doesn't Change

[MNMum]

Is this normal? I've been out of the childcare field for about a decade, so the only thing I have to compare is my own children.

I have a 3.5 yo dcb. I can ask him to do something 100 times. I've tried a few different approaches, with no change. For example, he does not wash his hands when he comes out of the bathroom. He goes potty here 20x/wk, so I've had plenty of time to work on this. I can prepare him, "You're going to go potty, then wash your hands before leaving the bathroom." "Yep." Me: "Did you wash your hands?" him: "No". Then recently he will just lie about it. Me : "Please do not wipe the snot off your face with your hand", him "Okay." Me: "Next time come to me", Him: "Okay". We've also had ample opportunity to work on this - he has NEVER come to me first about it. There are plenty of other things, these two just gross me out the most. Will he ever get it?

[sharlan]

That pretty much sums up my soon to be 4 and 5 yos.

[daycare]

Yeah sorry, that sounds like all kids that age. I just stand there and make sure that they wash their hands. If I cant, I will smell them and or look at them and just send them back.

I remember not washing my hands when I was around 8. My mom would catch me and make me go back and wash them again 3 or 4 times.....I finally gave in and washed my hands....

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

I have a DCB exactly like that. Out of my children, volunteer positions involving children, and DCK's I've been in close contact with about 100 kids in the past 9 years. I have never had a child like this DCB. It's like every 15 minutes it's retraining time. At almost 5 he just does not retain anything. Bathroom routine, eating, sitting down, putting shoes/coat on.....he just stares blankly at me. Parents don't want to take him for any medical visits to rule anything out and they feed him a lot of junk.
It's the darn weirdest thing when he stares at me when it's time to get shoes on as though he hasn't had to do it at least 500 times at daycare.

[Hunni Bee]

I dont keep the paper towels in the bathroom. I used to, but after watching the maintenance person pull a pumpkin sized ball of paper towels out of the toilet and getting blasted for it, I decided it wasn't worth the risk.

The paper towels are where I can see them. So I know if I dont see them go get a paper towel, they probably didn't wash their hands.

This way, I know they're not wasting them, that they're not flushing them and that everyone is washing hands.

[MNMum]

I have a DCB exactly like that. Out of my children, volunteer positions involving children, and DCK's I've been in close contact with about 100 kids in the past 9 years. I have never had a child like this DCB. It's like every 15 minutes it's retraining time. At almost 5 he just does not retain anything. Bathroom routine, eating, sitting down, putting shoes/coat on.....he just stares blankly at me. Parents don't want to take him for any medical visits to rule anything out and they feed him a lot of junk.
It's the darn weirdest thing when he stares at me when it's time to get shoes on as though he hasn't had to do it at least 500 times at daycare.

This exactly. He even has my 9 year old wondering what the deal is! This kid is fed a good diet, so can't blame it on that...hmmm

[SilverSabre25]

I also wonder if it's partly age...because I have two dcks that are doing this EXACT thing. One day, they would come upstairs for lunch and immediately go sit down...because that's what we do three times a day EVERY day. Then one morning, they came upstairs...and stood, confused, in the hallway :confused:. I told them THREE times to "go sit! It's time to eat!" and they just stared at me...It's been weeks and they are STILL needing coaxed through every step of our routine...every day. It's even gotten worse!

"Go potty...no, take your pants off first! Now pull down your Pull-Up...sit on the potty!...I know you're done, get down and get dressed...Put your pull-up on!...put your pants on...go lay down for nap...no, it's naptime, you need to go lay down...in the NAP room, not the playroom..." (insert head-banging-against-a-wall guy)

[MissAnn]

I dont keep the paper towels in the bathroom. I used to, but after watching the maintenance person pull a pumpkin sized ball of paper towels out of the toilet and getting blasted for it, I decided it wasn't worth the risk.

The paper towels are where I can see them. So I know if I dont see them go get a paper towel, they probably didn't wash their hands.

This way, I know they're not wasting them, that they're not flushing them and that everyone is washing hands.

I do this too....except I use washable cloths and keep them right outside the bathroom.

[MNMum]

I also wonder if it's partly age...because I have two dcks that are doing this EXACT thing. One day, they would come upstairs for lunch and immediately go sit down...because that's what we do three times a day EVERY day. Then one morning, they came upstairs...and stood, confused, in the hallway :confused:. I told them THREE times to "go sit! It's time to eat!" and they just stared at me...It's been weeks and they are STILL needing coaxed through every step of our routine...every day. It's even gotten worse!

"Go potty...no, take your pants off first! Now pull down your Pull-Up...sit on the potty!...I know you're done, get down and get dressed...Put your pull-up on!...put your pants on...go lay down for nap...no, it's naptime, you need to go lay down...in the NAP room, not the playroom..." (insert head-banging-against-a-wall guy)

This has been since September for me...

[MNMum]

I do this too....except I use washable cloths and keep them right outside the bathroom.

Good Idea! I should move these out into the hall. Maybe I'll put ours on those 3M removable hooks, they are already pulling the "permanent" ones off the wall.

[MNMum]

Update

Okay, so I couldn't stand the snot and thought of feces getting all over the playroom anymore. I've been repeating myself for 6 months. I told DCK that everyone at my house has to wash their hands BEFORE leaving the bathroom, also, that he MAY NOT use his hand to wipe his snot. If he continued to do these things he could not continue coming to my house. I know, a bit over the top, but this is where I was at with it. Guess what? DCK has washed his hands without prompting to go back, and has brought me a kleenex to wipe his nose. Not every time, but at least some of the time, which has afforded me the opportunity to give him the positive feedback he needs. Grrrrr...why do I have to this point for him to respond.

[nannyde]

With handwashing I wash their hands for them with a hand massage every time. I massage their fingers... in between their fingers... the tips... etc. and get them USED TO what it feels like to have perfectly clean fingers.

I hold their hands under the water and just give them a good massage with warm water and hand soap. Then I dry them with the same technique. Once you do this about 20-30 times then I start having THEM massage their own hands and I back off of it. Bit by bit... handing more of it over to them.

Do it gradually and make it feel really warm and good.

Same with face washing. Warm washcloth with gentle strokes... do it over time where you do the whole face and they learn not to recoil away from the wet and the rag.

The secret is small exposures over time that feel GOOD.

[BigMama]

With handwashing I wash their hands for them with a hand massage every time. I massage their fingers... in between their fingers... the tips... etc. and get them USED TO what it feels like to have perfectly clean fingers.

I hold their hands under the water and just give them a good massage with warm water and hand soap. Then I dry them with the same technique. Once you do this about 20-30 times then I start having THEM massage their own hands and I back off of it. Bit by bit... handing more of it over to them.

Do it gradually and make it feel really warm and good.

Same with face washing. Warm washcloth with gentle strokes... do it over time where you do the whole face and they learn not to recoil away from the wet and the rag.

The secret is small exposures over time that feel GOOD.

Ok, I can't believe I am writing these words, but I agree with Nannyde (on this). :: Nice warm cloths applied gently are the KEY to getting the infants and toddlers to not get so upset with every face wash and nose wipe.
Also, when the little ones try to wash their own hands they tend to turn the cold water on full blast. This does not exactly feel pleasant so they start to avoid washing. Show them how to wash appropriately with warm water and they will actually want to do it (some nice, pretty smelling soap doesn't hurt either )

[MrsB]

I dont have any nose pickers. But as far as hand and face washing, I have the exact opposite. They looooooove to wash. It would be a 2 hour long process if I let it be. I had to put an egg timer in the bathroom for handwashing.

[MNMum]

With handwashing I wash their hands for them with a hand massage every time. I massage their fingers... in between their fingers... the tips... etc. and get them USED TO what it feels like to have perfectly clean fingers.

I hold their hands under the water and just give them a good massage with warm water and hand soap. Then I dry them with the same technique. Once you do this about 20-30 times then I start having THEM massage their own hands and I back off of it. Bit by bit... handing more of it over to them.

Do it gradually and make it feel really warm and good.

Same with face washing. Warm washcloth with gentle strokes... do it over time where you do the whole face and they learn not to recoil away from the wet and the rag.

The secret is small exposures over time that feel GOOD.

Nan we come from the same background...I've done 10 years of NICU nursing, so I've always taught the kids by washing with them and singing with them. In fact, I was leading the hand washing training one year for our Education days at the hospital. You can not believe how many absolutely PO'd nurses there were that they had to be "checked off" on handwashing. The hospital required they sing a song with me and show me their skills.