Home Play Different Then Childcare Play

[Country Kids]

What do you do when your dcks are playing or seeing others at home rough house, wrestle, chasing games, etc. Then when they come to childcare they aren't able to turn the switch off. Child is really having issues here because of this and is really getting to be all boy. Being all boy doesn't work in childcare is my take. They have to learn boundaries and its getting to be where they almost need their own person for them all day. Is pretty good with one or two other children but when everyone is here they are almost over stimulated and seem to act out more.

So how do you address the difference in play between home and childcare. This is a older 2 but seems like a younger two so when you are talking they seem to agree without understanding what you are saying and then go right back to the behavior.

[grandmom]

Dog 'em. Till you stop the behavior. Just don't let a single instance slip by. It will be really hard at first, but it's now or you'll be dealing with it every day.

[Country Kids]

Oh believe me I have!!! The thing though is doing that is really, really taking all my time away from the others and then new issues arrive.

I just found out this week about this going on at home. Could explain some of the issues I've been having with this child. Open communication with parents and daily notes sent home everyday. Parents are willing to work with me on anything but how far does one go to say what the child does at home is effecting them here.

[saved4always]

I have had a couple children who played at home in ways that they cannot here.

I had one 2 yo dcg who would push all the other dck's, one of which is younger than her (he was my biter so he retaliated later with that wonderful behavior ). I said something about the pushing to dcm and it turns out that dcg would "play" push her 10 yo brother and her daddy. It was all in fun so they would pretend that she had pushed them down and everyone would laugh. Great fun except she started doing it here, too. I believe that they stopped playing that game at home since she didn't do it as often after that. It did not totally stop but it did get better.

I can tell that the 1.5 yo I watch also plays rough housing with his dad, too. He tends to climb on the other kids and try to "wrestle". I pick him up and move him off his friends and he will usually stop. It is not too big a problem since I was only watching 3 kids total so I am usually right there to stop it.

[countrymom]

I have a couple here, drives me crazy. After me yelling a few times they get the point. But then their parents wonder why are their children so good for me and so awful for them. Hmm I wonder if its the shows they let their children watch or let them beat each other to death.

[WImom]

I have a DCB that was hitting kids on the butt and one day did it to me! I talked to mom at pick up that night and they do that at home playingly. So mom had a long talk with him as well as me putting him on a few time out's that he has stopped now.

I do tell kids at my childcare that you can't always do the same things at school that you can do at home. That seems to work alot of the time.

[Blackcat31]

I agree that kids can and will learn that there are appropriate behaviors for different environments but I also think this is where really good interviewing skills come into play.

I would never enroll a family that supported rough play or fighting games at home as I don't want to continually have to deal with those kinds of issues at daycare.

There are times where you can take families that do things differently at home but in those cases it is really important then to have supportive parents that take a very active role in parenting so that they can take the lead in teaching their child what beahviors belong where.

[Country Kids]

I agree that kids can and will learn that there are appropriate behaviors for different environments but I also think this is where really good interviewing skills come into play.

I would never enroll a family that supported rough play or fighting games at home as I don't want to continually have to deal with those kinds of issues at daycare.

There are times where you can take families that do things differently at home but in those cases it is really important then to have supportive parents that take a very active role in parenting so that they can take the lead in teaching their child what beahviors belong where.

So BlackCat do you ask right out at interviews if they do these things at home? Also, most of the boys in my area are inrolled in sports-football, soccer, wrestling, basketball, baseball, etc. Most of these are pretty rough sports. I know some of this did start during wrestling season when little one was seeing matches, practise, etc. Martial arts is also very popular in my area so that is being seen also. Would you not allow little ones enrolled then that see those sports also?

I know years ago, one set of parents did take their child out of wrestling because he could keep it just to being at wrestling time.

[Blackcat31]

So BlackCat do you ask right out at interviews if they do these things at home? Also, most of the boys in my area are inrolled in sports-football, soccer, wrestling, basketball, baseball, etc. Most of these are pretty rough sports. I know some of this did start during wrestling season when little one was seeing matches, practise, etc.

Yes, I absolutely ask parents this at the interview. Sharing our views on what is and isn't appropriate behaviors is probably the longest part of an interview for me. I spend a good deal of time talking with parents about their routines and rules as well as discipline techniques at home before I enroll anyone. It is really important to me to get families that have the same views as I do or parents that have views I can abide by so that problems can be eliminated as much as possible.
I truly believe it helps the day to day environment and over all mood be a happy and fun place for everyone. It plays a big role in eliminating fighting and negative behaviors.

Martial arts is also very popular in my area so that is being seen also. Would you not allow little ones enrolled then that see those sports also?

My own son participated in Tae Kwon Do for many years and I know that the number one rule they teach is respect of the art itself and to never use it for "rough housing" playmates and friends and to practice it in an acceptable under the rules of the sport itself. Most sports I know teach kids teamwork and responsibilty. They also teach them to have self-confidence and sportsmanship so no, I wouldn't pass on a family because their kid plays sports.

I know years ago, one set of parents did take their child out of wrestling because he could keep it just to being at wrestling time.
I don't take SA kids and most kids around here don't play any sports until school so that isn't a big contributor to my environment.

I answered in bold above

[Countrygal]

Have you approached the parents? Perhaps it is not so much that the behavior is allowed at home, but that they are exhibiting it at home as well. Just a perchance.