What Would You Do???

[wdmmom]

Did they come in early? See if they stay late tonight?

If they aren't in compliance with your rules, give them notice this Friday that next Friday will be their last day.

[MrsB]

I do not mean any disrespect, just trying to play devils advocate and speaking from personal experience.

The reason they didnt apologize is probably one of 2 reasons.
1. They didnt know they upset you. No where in your letter did you let them know that you felt taken advantage of or that you felt disrespected.
or
2. They are the type of people that try to avoid conflict or discussion on uncomfortable situations at all cost.

If you wanted them to discuss it with you, then you should have requested that in your letter. I have learned alot in this business that alot of parents wont talk unless asked directly. Especially, if it is because they have been reminded/told/updated on policy or rules. If you want to discuss it, maybe at pickup you should mention it.

[daycare]

I do not mean any disrespect, just trying to play devils advocate and speaking from personal experience.

The reason they didnt apologize is probably one of 2 reasons.
1. They didnt know they upset you. No where in your letter did you let them know that you felt taken advantage of or that you felt disrespected.
or
2. They are the type of people that try to avoid conflict or discussion on uncomfortable situations at all cost.

If you wanted them to discuss it with you, then you should have requested that in your letter. I have learned alot in this business that alot of parents wont talk unless asked directly. Especially, if it is because they have been reminded/told/updated on policy or rules. If you want to discuss it, maybe at pickup you should mention it.

Well said...

COMMUNICATION IS KEY....

[Blackcat31]

I would ask mom straight out at pick up if she read the letter and then I would ask her if she is ok with that and whether or not I should take her silence as a sign of understanding.

I would never just allow her to gloss over this issue with silence. I don't care what type of person she is. I want to know she heard, understood and is agreeing to follow my policies.

[JJPlaycare]

Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. :confused: I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.

[MrsB]

Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. :confused: I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.

Im so glad you have made a stand against this family! I definately think that you deserve an apology. You are such a great provider for realizing the importance of communication. Unfortunatley, not everyone is that great at it! I was just trying to make that point. Some people aren't that great at communication, and if you want something specific from them, you have to spell it out. Which is kind of said, but is what it is. You can still be professional and tell them you feel like they have taken advantage of you and your policies. Best of luck!

I have different relationships with my DCFs. Some I can talk about anything, we are friendly, they stay and we chat about life, family,etc. Then their are those that think that being friendly means, you dont have to follow my rules. Sounds like this family might be the second type.

[Blackcat31]

Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. :confused: I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.

with this added info on how this family behaves not only would I say something about the letter but I would say something like

"Ya know Joann, I feel like I am a pretty open kind of person and I know that when something is bothering me I will address the issue right away. I am sort of feeling like you have been unhappy or maybe not entirely ok with things here sometimes and I would like to make sure that you know that I want very much for you to come to me when you have a question or if something is up.

I can't guarantee that I will always be able to accommodate you but I would atleast like to open the lines of communication so that we can work together while we share this time in Billy's life."

Maybe not so lengthy and wordy () but you get the point.

[daycare]

Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. :confused: I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.

So Sorry that you are going through this. I know it takes time to develop a back bone, but trust me when I tell you how much happier you will be when you put your foot down and just say NO. The more you do it, the easier it will get.

I hope that everything works out for you....

[JJPlaycare]

Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies

[Blackcat31]

Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies

That is fantastic!!!!!! happyface

I am so glad that you decided to just put it all out there and help them open up with you more about communicating.

I think if I were that mom and dad I would feel as though your actions show you care very much about their family and didn't just write them off!!

I am soooo happy things worked out and hope after all of this you end up building a great, open and honest relationship with this family. happyfacehappyfacehappyface

[MrsB]

Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies

I am so glad that you got the apology that you deserved!

Cheers to moving in the right direction!happyface

[MarinaVanessa]

That's wonderful that everything worked out great. You gave them some perspective and cleared the air to start again. Isn't it great when things turn out for the best?! happyface

[Unregistered]

I guess it depends on how many hours the children are in your care. My hours are from
7am-5pm. (This ensure the maximum amount a child is in my care is 10 hours)
I can take children in at any time between those hours without any extra fees or charges even if a child normally comes at 8:30 and is picked up at 4:30 on most days. They are welcome to be dropped off or picked up anytime between my hours of operation without any questions asked. If however the children need to come @ 6:30am one day or stay until 5:30pm another. I charge an extra 5$ per 30 minutes. So normal rate is 25$ per day full days but if child requires care from 6:30-5:30 it is 35$. Works good for me and I don't mind taking the kids a little early or a little late because I know I am making a little extra pocket money. BUT it needs to be a prior agreement between dcp and myself. (Outside my normal operating hours I mean). If there was no prior agreement to keep child past regular hours it is 1$ per minute. Same deal goes for early drop offs. If you show up on my doorstep @ 6:40am with no prior notice I will charge you 1$ for every minute that your child is in my care until 7am.
I also have 3 children of my own and need to have things planned out properly in order to get my older kids out the door to school in the morning or in order to plan our evenings. I do not like surprise pop ins or surprise late pick ups.