So, What About The CHILD Who Always Wants Special?

[Hunni Bee]

My 5 year old DCG is always asking for something, literally.

Can I paint, can I do playdough, can I have a snack, can I can I can I....its getting out of hand.l
No matter what we're doing she always want to do something different/better. If she sees something put away, she asks for it. I switched out my books this afternoon. There's books that are out for them to read, and then books that belong to me that they can only listen to. She passes up all the fresh books and needs to read mine.

She's the oldest in my group and knows it, so im pretty sure that has something to do with it. She has some issues with being respectful, bossing the younger kids, etc, so offering her "special" is not what i really want to do. But what can I say that will stop the asking but isn't "no, no, no" all day?

Thanks

[Blackcat31]

This probably won't work for all situations but we have a rule here; "If you ask the answer is no."

I use this for when kids want treats or something that is considered special and/or out of the norm of our daily activities.

[sharlan]

Learn to say NO.

I don't have a problem with the kids asking to do something different than what's out. BUT, if I say no, they know not to ask again.

[nannyde]

She's telling you the "possibility" of doing special special is escalating her and she's unable to focus on the toys and the other kids. She needs to be taken completely off of doing anything other than what the other kids are doing and the toys.

When she asks you don't tell her no...... tell her "go play toys". You are answering her with what she needs to be doing. Tell her "go play toys" and then turn her AWAY from you and then you turn AWAY from her. So when she looks back at you she sees your back. That way you aren't conveying anything in body language. Seeing your back means a final answer to her.

I wouldn't do ANY arts, crafts, books, or anything adult generated or adult participated with her for a few weeks. I would also have her be last, in the back, and as far away from you as possible when you do special activity for the group. Have her be last to be served or worked with and first to be done to go play toys.

She's "doing" you because you are the hottest ticket in town. She's requesting ou do the cream of the crop stuff with her so she gets the absolute BEST possible moment to moment. She needs to have her energy on self entertaining, the other children, and the toys. Once she knows you aren't going to do her or facilitate her having cream of the crop moment to moment she will put her energy on creating her own fun and play.

[daycare]

I have a DCB that does this and his words fall def to my ears. I just go on about my way as if he never even asks. It starts out each morning. but stops quickly.

[Hunni Bee]

Thank you ladies.

Blackcat, that's what I was trying to come up with. Thank you! It's not that I don't want her to ever do/have special, I just want her to stop asking me. This way she can police herself with it.

I think that along with "go play toys" should help. She wastes opportunities to actually have fun because she's asking to have fun. She shouldn't have to ask me to have fun.