Need Help With My Own Son Please

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I know its off topic, but Im desperate!

My ds is 6 and I (we) have been having a problem with getting him to stay in his room when we put him to bed.

He comes out up to 15 times or more everynight and goes to his sister's room and they end up goofing around.

Some nights he doesnt fall asleep until 10 pm.

He has his cuddles, story, bathroom all that stuff before bed.

I am at my wits end with him. I have taken away fun stuff, but he doesnt care.

Help please.

[SunshineMama]

I know its of topic, but Im desperate!

My ds is 6 and I (we) have been having a problem with getting him to stay in his room when we put him to bed.

He comes out up to 15 times or more everynight and goes to his sister's room and they end up goofing around.

Some nights he doesnt fall asleep until 10 pm.

He has his cuddles, story, bathroom all that stuff before bed.

I am at my wits end with him. I have taken away fun stuff, but he doesnt care.

Help please.

It took me repainting my daughter's room pink (because apparently monsters are afraid of the color pink), and putting glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. She is an old 3.5, but it took her having some input in her actual room to get her to stay in her room.

[Heidi]

does he have a favorite toy or book? Or something small he would LIKE to have?

I would put a small light in his room, and make him a deal. he may have the toy/book in his bed as LONG AS HE STAYS PUT, and you will leave the door open a crack. The minute he gets out, he looses the toy and the door gets shut ( I would not be above putting a hook latch on the door temp, don't know if you're comfortable with that. I'd unlock it before I went to bed though, for safety and bathroom reasons). I am of the mind-frame that it's like the old lead-a-horse-to-water thing. You CAN make them stay in bed, but you can't make them sleep.

Oh, and if he has any fears (as in Monsters, perhaps), label a bottle of lysol "monster spray". Matter-of-factly spray it around a little, and then say "ok, that'll take care of those little beasts." My sons went through a monster faze (excuse?), and the monster spray worked like a charm. If you don't like the idea of Lysol (I wouldn't nowadays, either), you could some lavender oil and label that the same. Lavender is supposed to induce sleep...double whammy!

[daycare]

my middle child did this years ago. We bought a special angle that we kept in her room to help guard her and keep her safe. That didn't work out too well and it ended up that I had to sit by her bed just like I did when she went from crib to big girl bed. I did that for two nights, then I moved to the door, then the hallway and by the end of the week it was over. Don't allow your son the option to leave his room. There is no option, there is no choice.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

He has a nightlight. He also has a lava lamp (up high) that gets turned on.

When he comes out, it's off.

The door is open a crack too!

No monster problems either. Tried the lavender too!

He says he just wants to play.

We were thinking about putting a locking door nob on my daughters door so she can lock it. but then we cant get in.

We have praised him for staying in his room. I have the kids get ready for bed an hour before, and then quiet time in your room till lights out.
No tv before bed or video games.

Should I get him a lamp for his night table maybe, so he can read in bed?

We are at a loss, as it is ruining our parent time KWIM?

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I have sat outside his door, and everytime he opened it, I closed it, I said nothing to him.

That took an hour and a half. He always ask's me NOT to sit outside his door.

[daycare]

I had to do it for a week, actually a week and 3 days.

How about sitting right by his bed. Sit there with a good book and this way he can't get out.

[daycare]

my daughter wanted me in her room so for her the consequence was if you get up or open your eyes, mommy leaves the room....

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I had to do it for a week, actually a week and 3 days.

How about sitting right by his bed. Sit there with a good book and this way he can't get out.

Tried that too! he kept talking to me.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

My hubby says it's like he just doesnt care how mad we get, he just doesnt care.

[Kaddidle Care]

A kid's tape player and Books on tape saved me. (You know the ones that have a story book that you read along to? They are about 10 minute long stories. Jungle Book, 3 Little Pigs, Peter Pan, Alladin) My son was younger but he knew how to flip it over and play it again. Usually by the time he listened to it twice he was zzzz'd out.

Dangle a carrot - let him EARN TV or Video game time - whatever it is that turns him on. He's gotten into a bad habit - always best to nip those bad ones in the bud. It will take some work to reverse it.

You can do it! happyface

[spud912]

My daughter did it too and the only thing that worked in the end was closing and locking her door from the outside. It took a very short 3 days and she no longer does it (hence gets to keep the door open). She knows I mean it now when I say to stay in bed or the door gets closed.

[cheeseheadmama]

What about a rewards chart? He gets to choose something as a goal (small toy, video game, alone time with a parent, etc but make it something he REALLY wants) as a reward and then you put a sticker on his chart for every night that he STAYS in his room. After X number of successes he earns the reward. More motivation than punishment. happyface

Good luck! My 7 year-old went through a phase of "go ahead and punish me, I don't care" and we found that the carrot was better than the stick as long as we were consistent with it. Unfortunately, it is my first instinct to punish for bad behavior rather than reward good behavior so it took a while to figure it out. He still gets time outs and loses privileges, but those are more for minor infractions. The big things, like your bed time issues, need to be turned around the other way. Hope that helps!

[lpperry]

I babysat a kid about that age who did that. I gave him 3 tickets. He was allowed to use his tickets 3 times to come out of his room for something. After that, he was supposed to stay in his bed. It worked. I don't know why it worked. He very well could have come out again and again, but once he used up his tickets, he didn't.

[MrsB]

When my DD did this at age 3 I had tried everything too. It wasn't about monsters, just she didnt want to miss anything fun and exciting, I guess. Now I am going to get booed for this but it worked. It totally happened by accident, but she opened the door to come out and promptly shut the door and got back in her bed. I was like what the heck!:confused: Went to check and the closet door had got left open. She was deathly afraid of the vaccuum and the closet that the vaccuum was in was directly across from her bedroom door. The next night I purposely left the closet door open and from that night on I never had an issue again. By the way I dont recommend scaring them as an appropriate way to keep them in their bed.

With my son, we had to put a lock on the outside. He would cry at the door. At 15 minute intervals I would put him back in his bed. Not say anything but, that it is night night time. Time to close our eyes and go to sleep. The first night was 30 minutes of screaming, but got less and less every night. The first week or so he would fall asleep at the door and I would cover him with a light blanket but left him on the floor. Most mornings he would get up in the middle of the night and go to his bed. Then after about 2 weeks he would just stay in his bed, no fuss or nothing. I would unlock the door after I went to bed so he could still escape if their was a fire in the middle of the night.

Good luck!