Injury At Daycare, Need Advice

[Meeko]

I'm guessing his bark is worse than his bite. Do you actually think he would sue her because his son got pushed down and got a bruise? That's silly. I doubt an attorney would even take his case. If I loved the baby (like the OP stated), I would do my best to make it work.

Maybe he's full of hot hair and maybe he's not. But I sure wouldn't want to work with a man like that! A threat is a threat whether he meant it or not and whether it's valid or not. He MEANT to intimidate her. I wouldn't accept that from anyone in my own home.

[CheekyChick]

I don't assume anything. I work on what I KNOW. I KNOW that the OP was threatened. I KNOW that he seems unstable and unreasonable.

She can love the baby to the moon and back. Is that love worth gambling her entire future? I doubt it. She will find another child to love. I KNOW that.

Just my opinion.

[cheerfuldom]

I'm guessing his bark is worse than his bite. Do you actually think he would sue her because his son got pushed down and got a bruise? That's silly. I doubt an attorney would even take his case. If I loved the baby (like the OP stated), I would do my best to make it work.

I think you are being incredibly naive. Even if he doesn't contact a lawyer, he can still harass with CPS calls, licensing calls, coming over and calling himself. Ticked off parents are VERY capable of ruining a provider's life. I am not going to take the chance that his "bark is worse than his bite"....if a dog is growling at you, do you stay where you are or move closer? Of course not! You move away! The growl is the warning. They may or may not bite, you don't know for sure but why take the chance?

this isn't about loving the child. It is unfair to the OP to imply that if she really loved the children in her care, she would make it work. Where is the accountability for the parent? Are providers supposed to tolerate everything in the name of loving the children they work with?

[CheekyChick]

Maybe he's full of hot hair and maybe he's not. But I sure wouldn't want to work with a man like that! A threat is a threat whether he meant it or not and whether it's valid or not. He MEANT to intimidate her. I wouldn't accept that from anyone in my own home.

I wouldn't either. He sounds like a bully.

BUT, as Nan pointed out, there are sure-fire ways to keep the baby and toddler separated. If I TRULY loved this baby and needed the income, I would make it work. I would also have a long talk with DCD and tell him that I would NOT tolerate his threats and if it happened again, child care services would be immediately terminated.

I guess my opinion isn't popular and I'm okay with that. LOL!!!

[MrsB]

I think you are being incredibly naive. Even if he doesn't contact a lawyer, he can still harass with CPS calls, licensing calls, coming over and calling himself. Ticked off parents are VERY capable of ruining a provider's life. I am not going to take the chance that his "bark is worse than his bite"....if a dog is growling at you, do you stay where you are or move closer? Of course not! You move away! The growl is the warning. They may or may not bite, you don't know for sure but why take the chance?

this isn't about loving the child. It is unfair to the OP to imply that if she really loved the children in her care, she would make it work. Where is the accountability for the parent? Are providers supposed to tolerate everything in the name of loving the children they work with?

lovethislovethislovethislovethislovethislovethis

[CheekyChick]

I think you are being incredibly naive. Even if he doesn't contact a lawyer, he can still harass with CPS calls, licensing calls, coming over and calling himself. Ticked off parents are VERY capable of ruining a provider's life. I am not going to take the chance that his "bark is worse than his bite"....if a dog is growling at you, do you stay where you are or move closer? Of course not! You move away! The growl is the warning. They may or may not bite, you don't know for sure but why take the chance?

this isn't about loving the child. It is unfair to the OP to imply that if she really loved the children in her care, she would make it work. Where is the accountability for the parent? Are providers supposed to tolerate everything in the name of loving the children they work with?

I'm not saying she has to make it work because she loves the baby. I am saying that if she WANTS it to work, there are ways to make it work.

No. providers aren't supposed to tolerate rudeness. If it were me, I would give him a one strike and you're out warning.

From past experience, I have seen parents get in a FRENZY over injuries. I had a DCD that was LIVID when his little girl fell into a rocking chair and got a huge bruise on her forehead. He wanted to know EVERY little detail and gave me the impression that I wasn't watching her carefully - or it wouldn't have happened.

I wrote him a letter explaining every little detail of how she tripped, the first aid steps I took, etc. He was cold with me for a few months, but the little girl has now been here about three years and he is extremely respectful of me and what I do.

This parent is clearly a hot-head and is overreacting. Sometimes a simple talk or letter can clear things up. It doesn't necessarily mean the OP's "life and livelihood will be destroyed" over this.

But, that is only my opinion...

[JenNJ]

He was cold to you for months?!? Oh heck no! No one who is cold to me gets to come to my house everyday and be rude to me. I respect my clients and deserve the same respect in return. That is just basic manners. I wouldn't want the child of a person who was that thoughtless and rude.

[daycare]

I'm not saying she has to make it work because she loves the baby. I am saying that if she WANTS it to work, there are ways to make it work.

No. providers aren't supposed to tolerate rudeness. If it were me, I would give him a one strike and you're out warning.

From past experience, I have seen parents get in a FRENZY over injuries. I had a DCD that was LIVID when his little girl fell into a rocking chair and got a huge bruise on her forehead. He wanted to know EVERY little detail and gave me the impression that I wasn't watching her carefully - or it wouldn't have happened.

I wrote him a letter explaining every little detail of how she tripped, the first aid steps I took, etc. He was cold with me for a few months, but the little girl has now been here about three years and he is extremely respectful of me and what I do.

This parent is clearly a hot-head and is overreacting. Sometimes a simple talk or letter can clear things up. It doesn't necessarily mean the OP's "life and livelihood will be destroyed" over this.

But, that is only my opinion...

I agree with you, except that fact that he made a threat to the DCP ....Why would you want to wait it out to call his bluff on that??

[CheekyChick]

He was cold to you for months?!? Oh heck no! No one who is cold to me gets to come to my house everyday and be rude to me. I respect my clients and deserve the same respect in return. That is just basic manners. I wouldn't want the child of a person who was that thoughtless and rude.

Yes. He was a punk. LOL!!!

Since I love the little girl and her mom, I wasn't too concerned. HE was the one who was being immature and irrational - not me.

[CheekyChick]

I agree with you, except that fact that he made a threat to the DCP ....Why would you want to wait it out to call his bluff on that??

I had to go back and reread the original post to see why my opinion is so unpopular. LOL!!!

After rereading the post, I stand by my opinion. I just don't see his threat as being a big deal. He didn't threaten her person, her family, or the 17 month old. He was simply being a hot head. PLUS, even if he did contact the state, do you think they would actually look down upon her because a toddler pushed a baby down twice? I don't think so...

I would do two things:

#1 I would send the DCD a certified letter (or warning) that if he attempted to bully or threaten me again - child care services would be terminated.
#2 I would then do what Nan suggested and NEVER allow the 17 month old access to the baby.

Good or bad, right or wrong, that's what I would do.

[daycare]

I had to go back and reread the original post to see why my opinion is so unpopular. LOL!!!

After rereading the post, I stand by my opinion. I just don't see his threat as being a big deal. He didn't threaten her person, her family, or the 17 month old. He was simply being a hot head. PLUS, even if he did contact the state, do you think they would actually look down upon her because a toddler pushed a baby down twice? I don't think so...

I would do two things:

#1 I would send the DCD a certified letter (or warning) that if he attempted to bully or threaten me again - child care services would be terminated.
#2 I would then do what Nan suggested and NEVER allow the 17 month old access to the baby.

Good or bad, right or wrong, that's what I would do.

IF he calls LIC or CPS legally they have to come out!! WHy would you want to invite that? it stays on your record

Sorry I am dumbfounded by this... YOu are a very trusting persona maybe and I am not.

I would never allow anyone to threaten me in any way and give them the chance to follow through.

Why open that can of worms??

YOu are correct, there is no right or wrong here, but there is common sense

[CheekyChick]

IF he calls LIC or CPS legally they have to come out!! WHy would you want to invite that? it stays on your record

Sorry I am dumbfounded by this... YOu are a very trusting persona maybe and I am not.

I would never allow anyone to threaten me in any way and give them the chance to follow through.

Why open that can of worms??

YOu are correct, there is no right or wrong here, but there is common sense

Maybe I am a bit too trusting... I've also never had a complaint or a visit due to a complaint, which I'm sure wouldn't be a pleasant experience. I might feel differently if I had...

The fact is, if she gives him a warning and she puts HERSELF in control - I don't think he will bully her further.

On the other hand, if she terminates the family, he may STILL turn her in and say she terminated child care services because their child was getting injured in her care and she allowed it to happen.

It's a hard call to make...

[Meeko]

He was cold to you for months?!? Oh heck no! No one who is cold to me gets to come to my house everyday and be rude to me. I respect my clients and deserve the same respect in return. That is just basic manners. I wouldn't want the child of a person who was that thoughtless and rude.

lovethislovethislovethis

[daycare]

Maybe I am a bit too trusting... I've also never had a complaint or a visit due to a complaint, which I'm sure wouldn't be a pleasant experience. I might feel differently if I had...

The fact is, if she gives him a warning and she puts HERSELF in control - I don't think he will bully her further.

On the other hand, if she terminates the family, he may STILL turn her in and say she terminated child care services because their child was getting injured in her care and she allowed it to happen.

It's a hard call to make...

very true....Either way it needs to be delt with and it STINKS that she is in this situation. I feel very sad for her...HUgs to you OP.

I have only had my regular LIC check up inspections and even that was dreadful.

[CheekyChick]

very true....Either way it needs to be delt with and it STINKS that she is in this situation. I feel very sad for her...HUgs to you OP.

I have only had my regular LIC check up inspections and even that was dreadful.

I 100% agree. It's almost a no-win situation and my heart truly goes out to her.

YES!!! Inspections stink. LOL!!! I scrub every inch of this place, get my paperwork in perfect order, and then sweat the entire time they're here. NOT fun.