Revisiting Your Own Child Is Your Worst

[Countrygal]

I know we've had lots of threads on this, but I was wondering what has worked for people who have had issues with their own children?

My dgs is five and loves the daycare. Unfortunately, since starting it up he has literally become bossy, disrespectful, unkind and selfish - not traits he really exhibited much before (except maybe selfish).

What have people done with their own children that has worked for them to help them adjust and become a useful and happy member of the dc?

[Lilbutterflie]

Consistency, consistency, consistency. I have had issues with my son, now 4. He was 18 months when I started doing home daycare. I have found that I am not as consistent with him as the daycare children. I find myself feeling bad for him b/c I know part of his acting out is having to share me and his house with other children.

Give your child their own toys & their own space in which they can retreat to during the day to get away. Rule here is that your toys are kept in your room to play with. If they come out of your room... you have to share with the others.

Give lots of hugs and kisses throughout the day to give them the one on one attention they crave. This is a big one for my child. Once I started making a consistent effort to do this; his behavior seemed to get much much better. Of course, when I give him hugs the whole group wants to be loved; which I gladly do! It usually turns into a big laughing, giggling, hugging and tickling frenzy!

[Countrygal]

Thanks, butterfly. I think you may be right on about the hugging and kissing. I'm sure he gets less than he used to. He's getting older, too, so naturally gets a little less.

I have the same rules about toys. The ones the daycare uses are ones he either outgrew or we picked up just for daycare. His room is off limits to daycare kids and he can go in whenever he wants, but I may reitterate that idea to him as well.

[spud912]

My daughter can be difficult at times, but she was just as bad as she was before I started daycare (she is just a difficult child in general). Like countrygal said, I noticed I'm not always consistent with her, so I make an extra effort to do so. I also get some special moments around nap time that I spend with just her (hugging and kissing) that seem to help a lot!!

[JenNJ]

I find that catching them in the act of GOOD behavior is essential. When my kids share, help a daycare child, or play nicely I am sure to recognize it and ask them how they feel when everyone plays nicely and follows the rules. It makes my son (6) very proud of himself.

[MrsB]

I had some difficulty with my DD at around age 5 too. I decided that I needed to have clear guidelines for her.

While she was downstairs with us, she had all the same rules as the daycare. She was basically treated as a daycare child. Same rules, same timeouts, same eating times, etc, etc.

She did have the option to go to her room or my room where she could play with her own toys and such or watch a movie, but they needed to stay upstairs. If she came downstairs she needed to do what we were doing. I let her make the choice of what she was going to pick. I wouldn't let her go watch TV in the living room while we were doing something else in the playroom.

Basically, upstairs your own space, downstairs daycare routine.

It took a little while but we worked it out. Usually during nap time, she would lay down on a nap mat like everyone else. Once everyone was asleep, I would go lay down with her on the mat and snuggle for 10 minutes or so. She loved it, it was like our super secret snuggle time.

For the most part, she played with us and then as she was feeling overwhelmed she would excuse herself to her room and play for a bit, then rejoin us later.

[SunshineMama]

My 3.5 year old daughter was the worst; she was also the oldest. I decided to take on another 3.5 year old boy, who was on the same developmental level as her, and it has been 100% improvement! They keep eachother busy all day long, and life is 100% easier!

[cheerfuldom]

My 2 year old is the hardest one for me.the only thing that helps is LOTS of outside time!

[Ariana]

What has helped me tremendously is having special time for her every day! I remind her several times a day how she is my special girl and give lots of hugs and kisses. I feel that showing her that eventhough I care for other children SHE is my #1 priority and is special. When I started doing this she turned around quickly!!

[daycare]

What has helped me tremendously is having special time for her every day! I remind her several times a day how she is my special girl and give lots of hugs and kisses. I feel that showing her that eventhough I care for other children SHE is my #1 priority and is special. When I started doing this she turned around quickly!!

Ditto on this... I make special time every day that I spend with only my child. In the morning before care, at nap time while kids are napping and again at the end of the day.

[Countrygal]

Thank you for all the great responses! I will definitely act upon them!