Very Particular Parent...Causing Me Stress...

[littlemommy]

The dreaded helicopter mom! I had one like that last summer. She sent everything and acted like I couldn't do anything right. I later found out she had 2 other kids that she didn't have custody of. I wondered if she was trying to be "perfect" since he was the only one she had? She ended up being crazy-making up allergies that he had and drugging him to make her life easier. I'm glad I termed them!

I had an interview for a newborn, and the mom asked if he would be sleeping in a separate pack n play than my baby. I thought maybe that was a hint that she was going to be over the top protective/germophobe/first time mom, but she has been absolutely great!

[Ariana]

She's a psychiatrist? Sounds like she should lie herself on a couch!!

[My3cents]

I need help...Am new to this and searching for similar topics,but anyways...I have done daycare in my home for 3.5 years. I am a people pleaser so hate being tough but am getting better....Here is my dilemma...I have a mom who is super nice, psychiatrist, seems genuine, but very picky! Her son is 8 months, barely starting food, I have had to write down everything for her from day one, what time he ate, how much formula, when he pooped, what it looked like. She doesn't like him sharing toys so she brings 2 toys for him to have here, sends bottles, teether, and spoon daily and wants them back in her bag at night so she can sterilize is all. She brings his water, formula, food, diapers, wipes, creams and doesn't allow me to use any of my own stuff except I use a walker for him and a playpen...anyway, recently I quit writing everything down for her as I told her I don't have time to do that, he does the same thing every day. She tells me how much he can eat and when, I think it's pretty simple to tell her if he pooped. He has bad skin issues so I put aquaphor on him twice a day, slather him with desitin at every diaper change. So, this morning, she says to me, "I hate to even bother you with this but would you check the walker you put G in because for the last week he is coming home with his pants smelling like poop." Then she asked what his poop has looked like as if maybe it had been runny and got on the walker....she said she hasn't been finding any on his clothes, just the smell. So then she asked me if I recommended another brand of diaper, or other suggestions...REALLY? Little kids pants sometimes keep the smell of poop for whatever reason....somebody tell me what to do! I like them but don't feel like anything is ever gonna be good enough and I'd like to cut my losses now before it is an issue for something major. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated...

No not really, not unless they are soiled. Avoid this by changing him right before pick up into new pants sent in from home.

Give this parent a chance. She might have Mommy guilt that she can't be with her precious when she really desires to. Have back ups of why you do what you do. No outside toys from home, it causes issues with the other children. She might want those toys so that he can have them at home too and feel connected to her/home when in your care. I would let him play with other toys during the day and just make sure as you would to wash anything that goes into mouth and your normal routine of cleaning. Give her a chance, she is a parent that cares- even if she is coming off as a pita. My best parents have been like this at first. It's new to them. We do it all the time.

For you, don't take on the way she is trying to make you feel. Know your stuff and come across that way. Best-happyface

[small_steps]

"I hate to even bother you with this but would you check the walker you put G in because for the last week he is coming home with his pants smelling like poop."

Yeah I was wondering about that. I smelled a whif of that when he got here but I didn't want to say anything. Are you sure it's not his car seat?

Learn the art of "Tag your're It".

Ha Ha Ha!!! Love this!! Would love to be a fly on the way to hear someone tell this to a daycare parent and see their facial expression afterward.
::
My parents are all pretty laid back. I'm so thankful for that. And she certainly may ease up as he gets up to toddler age. A lot of my parents that have been a little picky have gotten used to me and how I do things and are great now that their children are a little older.

[momma2girls]

I have only ever worked with first time parents of only children or kids with siblings WAY older. It is a very challenging nitch. they can be such a pain sometimes. You are kind of screwed now that you started this extra special attention to her and are now trying to stop it. You could try to have a sit down meeting and go over your contract and the services you do and do not offer. More than likely though, you will have to part ways. She is used to "special" and she is not going to give that up easily.

I do not offer daily reports. Big fat waste of my time and actually causes way more trouble than information. I had one parent term and conveniently whip out a report from MONTHS earlier where her child was not feed solids twice that day (according to the report). That was her justification for terming with no notice. I hate reports....will never ever offer to do those again.

I am with you on the reports. I used to do them, it was way too much!!
I did them for one family, that have requested them. Then 2 other families seen them, and asked me to do theirs as well. It got WAY too much!! I tell them if anything happens, weather the baby pooped or not, anything fussines, etc.. and that is it- I have been telling families verbally for about 6 yrs. now!!

[blessingsbunch]

You already know the answer....

You said "I like them but don't feel like anything is ever gonna be good enough and I'd like to cut my losses now before it is an issue for something major".

You nailed it right there. This woman needs to hire a Nanny.

I agree, going to tell her today...

[blessingsbunch]

"I hate to even bother you with this but would you check the walker you put G in because for the last week he is coming home with his pants smelling like poop."

Yeah I was wondering about that. I smelled a whif of that when he got here but I didn't want to say anything. Are you sure it's not his car seat?

Learn the art of "Tag your're It".

So going to learn this art! Love it!

[CheekyChick]

I am pretty easy going and can deal with high maintenance parents. I must say that this mom would even drive ME nuts.

I would tell her how you feel... Tell her that you feel no matter what you do and how well you take care of her son, that it is never good enough. I would then tell her that she might be more comfortable having a nanny come into her home. She might agree with you or back off a bit.

Good luck.

[blessingsbunch]

I need help...Am new to this and searching for similar topics,but anyways...I have done daycare in my home for 3.5 years. I am a people pleaser so hate being tough but am getting better....Here is my dilemma...I have a mom who is super nice, psychiatrist, seems genuine, but very picky! Her son is 8 months, barely starting food, I have had to write down everything for her from day one, what time he ate, how much formula, when he pooped, what it looked like. She doesn't like him sharing toys so she brings 2 toys for him to have here, sends bottles, teether, and spoon daily and wants them back in her bag at night so she can sterilize is all. She brings his water, formula, food, diapers, wipes, creams and doesn't allow me to use any of my own stuff except I use a walker for him and a playpen...anyway, recently I quit writing everything down for her as I told her I don't have time to do that, he does the same thing every day. She tells me how much he can eat and when, I think it's pretty simple to tell her if he pooped. He has bad skin issues so I put aquaphor on him twice a day, slather him with desitin at every diaper change. So, this morning, she says to me, "I hate to even bother you with this but would you check the walker you put G in because for the last week he is coming home with his pants smelling like poop." Then she asked what his poop has looked like as if maybe it had been runny and got on the walker....she said she hasn't been finding any on his clothes, just the smell. So then she asked me if I recommended another brand of diaper, or other suggestions...REALLY? Little kids pants sometimes keep the smell of poop for whatever reason....somebody tell me what to do! I like them but don't feel like anything is ever gonna be good enough and I'd like to cut my losses now before it is an issue for something major. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated...

I have to say this dcb is very good and I am a provider who goes above and beyond all the time. I wash all the kids blankets myself weekly, I keep their extra clothes here and wash them when soiled (even poopy), I am very easy going and deal with most things well but I am dealing with some health issues and stress is not making it better. I feel very stressed by this mom and she makes little comments all the time that make me think things will get worse. She said the other day to dcb who is 8mo, now you enjoy the dog here cause you will never have one! Then she picks off the one single dog hair on his clothes (I keep my dog shaved for not having to deal with this issue), I also vacuum every or every other day! And it isn't unusual for parents to bring their own creams but I told her in the begining I could use my bagbalm for his diaper area and she said, no that's okay I prefer you wait til I bring his own. I just don't feel this is going to work out in my favor...I need to be happy with my job and she is creating stress for me...I usually have pretty good intuition about things...I am going to give her notice tonight on the phone. She picks up dcb while lots of other parents are here so I will call her afterwards...

[blessingsbunch]

I am pretty easy going and can deal with high maintenance parents. I must say that this mom would even drive ME nuts.

I would tell her how you feel... Tell her that you feel no matter what you do and how well you take care of her son, that it is never good enough. I would then tell her that she might be more comfortable having a nanny come into her home. She might agree with you or back off a bit.

Good luck.

Thank you! I feel I am pretty easy going but I am done with this...
feeling confident about my decision...