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Very Particular Parent...Causing Me Stress...
I need help...Am new to this and searching for similar topics,but anyways...I have done daycare in my home for 3.5 years. I am a people pleaser so hate being tough but am getting better....Here is my dilemma...I have a mom who is super nice, psychiatrist, seems genuine, but very picky! Her son is 8 months, barely starting food, I have had to write down everything for her from day one, what time he ate, how much formula, when he pooped, what it looked like. She doesn't like him sharing toys so she brings 2 toys for him to have here, sends bottles, teether, and spoon daily and wants them back in her bag at night so she can sterilize is all. She brings his water, formula, food, diapers, wipes, creams and doesn't allow me to use any of my own stuff except I use a walker for him and a playpen...anyway, recently I quit writing everything down for her as I told her I don't have time to do that, he does the same thing every day. She tells me how much he can eat and when, I think it's pretty simple to tell her if he pooped. He has bad skin issues so I put aquaphor on him twice a day, slather him with desitin at every diaper change. So, this morning, she says to me, "I hate to even bother you with this but would you check the walker you put G in because for the last week he is coming home with his pants smelling like poop." Then she asked what his poop has looked like as if maybe it had been runny and got on the walker....she said she hasn't been finding any on his clothes, just the smell. So then she asked me if I recommended another brand of diaper, or other suggestions...REALLY? Little kids pants sometimes keep the smell of poop for whatever reason....somebody tell me what to do! I like them but don't feel like anything is ever gonna be good enough and I'd like to cut my losses now before it is an issue for something major. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated...
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I do not take first time parents/only children because I have had way too many particular parents who drive me crazy with stuff like that. -
I would find a generic daily sheet and fill that out for her.
I would also stop passing a bag and toys back and forth. She can keep DCB's belongings there and you will tell her when she needs to restock. If she can't do that, maybe she needs a nanny.Comment
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You already know the answer....
You said "I like them but don't feel like anything is ever gonna be good enough and I'd like to cut my losses now before it is an issue for something major".
You nailed it right there. This woman needs to hire a Nanny.Comment
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I have full-time first-time parents and they are WONDERFUL! Do exactly as I ask with policies, take my advice (when asked), just great. Don't count out first-time parents. They aren't all like that!
As for this mom, just call her out. Say, hey dcm! I get that you care about your little guy, but all this is making me think you don't trust me and if that's the case, we have a problem.Comment
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...that wasn't helpful...
I would tell her you can't keep up with the paperwork she requires at her current pay and let her know you'll have to charge x amount for every 5 mins of papers. Her demands and requests of you are rediculous...I'd really just term ASAP.Comment
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I know first time parents are not all like that but when I had 6 like that in one year I decided for me that I was not taking the chance again.Comment
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My advice to you..
Never start something that parents will learn to expect from you that is not of normal practice you offer for every family.
Example.
I started a new kid the other day. He soaked through all of his clothes, bankets and stuffy at nap time. I thought well maybe I could be nice and wash it for them. HECK no. If I do it once, it will become expected from me all the time.
DONT OFFER SPECIAL...
I agree with cat......sounds like you know what you need to do....Comment
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"I hate to even bother you with this but would you check the walker you put G in because for the last week he is coming home with his pants smelling like poop."
Yeah I was wondering about that. I smelled a whif of that when he got here but I didn't want to say anything. Are you sure it's not his car seat?
Learn the art of "Tag your're It".Comment
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I have only ever worked with first time parents of only children or kids with siblings WAY older. It is a very challenging nitch. they can be such a pain sometimes. You are kind of screwed now that you started this extra special attention to her and are now trying to stop it. You could try to have a sit down meeting and go over your contract and the services you do and do not offer. More than likely though, you will have to part ways. She is used to "special" and she is not going to give that up easily.
I do not offer daily reports. Big fat waste of my time and actually causes way more trouble than information. I had one parent term and conveniently whip out a report from MONTHS earlier where her child was not feed solids twice that day (according to the report). That was her justification for terming with no notice. I hate reports....will never ever offer to do those again.Comment
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If the kid is good, I wouldn't term. I honastly don't think the mom is too back other than the poop in the walker discussion and only letting him play with toys from home.
I think you need to talk to the mom about how things are going to change now that her baby is getting older. Tell her that you let him use his own toys, when he was an infant, but now that it is old enough, he is going to start using the group items (which are cleaned regularly). Explain that when he starts to crawl (if he is not already), that you can't keep him confined to 2 toys. And then make a rule about no more toys from home.
I would have her send food for him, since he can't eat everything the big kids are eating yet. I would even forget about the spoons for now. Just throw them back in the lunch bag she sends dirty. That's one less thing you have to wash. Deal with that when he starts eating your food.
As for the reports, I do a daily report with when the baby ate, how many ounces, and what times he had solids. I also include times of BM and one activity they enjoyed that day. I don't think that is too much to ask at all. That is important information for a parent to know. I have a printed out forma and just fill in the information.
I also don't think it is strange for her to bring his diapers, wipes, creams. I require this for all my kids. I don't supply those.Comment
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This may sound rude.
If a mom expects that level of care for their infant, they either need to hire a nanny who has no one to care for except their kids, OR they need to make the sacrifices necessary to stay home and do it themselves.
I don't take infants now, but I have in the past.
When a parent puts their infant in childcare, they need to be ready to accept that there is a level of care that a person other than that parent can provide, and there is a limit to what that caregiver can do. If that's not good enough, seriously, they need to do it themselves.Comment
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I recently posted about a family wanting to come back and not sure I want to take them back - they were EXACTLY like this. I put up with it for 3 years - till they left to put the child in school - now they want me to take their new baby and I just don't want to deal with them again. They paid on time, were fine in every other area except stuff like this and it was just sooo stressful.
I don't know that I'd term them, but I like the idea of putting it back on mom whenever you can and addressing the toys from home stuff. One thing that used to drive me insane was the 20+ containers of food they'd send in. I finally started sending them home dirty, with half eaten food in them and on their daily sheets I'd write "see bowls" for how much they ate.
I would use a simple fill in the blank daily sheet and it shouldn't take you much time - takes me all of 5 min. a day to fill them out for all 5 of my daycare kids!Comment
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