To Renew Or Not To Renew... Help! Long

[KDC]

So, I have a family that I've had for 4 years now, that I'm contemplating not renewing a contract for. This isn't an easy decision... and I'm so tired of thinking about it. I wish someone could make the decision for me (and deal with the consequences). Here is the dilemma and the pros & cons. What would you do?

Summary: This family lives across from me. They have 2 kids the same age as my kids, and our kids are friends. They are part time (Tues, Wed. Thurs.) They have a 2.5 yr. old & a 4.5 yr. old. They are teacher parents, so they are 3 days a week, and do not come during the summer (could really use the income if they did). Right now, our 4.5 yr. olds go to the same preschool and we ride share. (DH takes, and they pick-up)

Dilemma: #1 issue. DCB will in in Kindergarten reducing him to 3 half days. DCG will be starting preschool reducing her to 2 half days and 1 full day. They are taking 2 spots & will not come during the summer (or pay). Kids will be going to preschool & kindergarten together, and it's hard to rock the boat, financially it stinks.

Pro's
Rideshare for preschool is nice, could work around it -- but it's working?
Kids are great and I absolutely LOVE them
They're neighbors, and I REALLY hate ruining the dynamic of everything - friendly neighborhood and during summer all kids play together and parents chit chat, has BBQ's, works out nicely.
Always pay on time, pay monthly

Con's
Reducing income next year
Taking up 2 full time spots
Parents really conservative. (example: can't even do movie day with kids, as they need zero screen time & no 'G' movies allowed)
Parents have condescending attitude toward me and my family, telling others and my DH they're 'doing me a favor' by letting me watch their kids. (This is HUGE...My DH wants to get rid of them for this alone)
No summer income (ouch)
Getting discount, set up early (dumb) and they are part-time.

???
Should I just struggle through it to keep everything from spiraling? Assuming they won't see this from a business perspective, and take it personally? This family and I are conflict avoiders, and don't always communicate well. If you were in this position, what would you do?

[Sunchimes]

I would explain it from a financial standpoint--these days everyone talks about finances and income, they have to understand a cut in pay. Whether they admit it or not, they know that being part time and now cutting that is hurting you. Keep it business like and maybe throw in that you hate to do it because they are such good friends, yada yada.

Honestly, the condescending attitude would end it for me. I might put up with it from someone who was strictly a business relationship. I can just shrug that off as them being idiots, but I could never tolerate it in people who were suppose to be friends.

[JenNJ]

Dilemma: #1 issue. DCB will in in Kindergarten reducing him to 3 half days. DCG will be starting preschool reducing her to 2 half days and 1 full day. They are taking 2 spots & will not come during the summer (or pay). Kids will be going to preschool & kindergarten together, and it's hard to rock the boat, financially it stinks.

Pro's
Rideshare for preschool is nice, could work around it -- but it's working?
Kids are great and I absolutely LOVE them
They're neighbors, and I REALLY hate ruining the dynamic of everything - friendly neighborhood and during summer all kids play together and parents chit chat, has BBQ's, works out nicely.
Always pay on time, pay monthly

Con's
Reducing income next year
Taking up 2 full time spots
Parents really conservative. (example: can't even do movie day with kids, as they need zero screen time & no 'G' movies allowed)
Parents have condescending attitude toward me and my family, telling others and my DH they're 'doing me a favor' by letting me watch their kids. (This is HUGE...My DH wants to get rid of them for this alone)
No summer income (ouch)
Getting discount, set up early (dumb) and they are part-time.

The bolded reasons are exactly why you need to let them go. This is a business decision. They aren't "doing you a favor." They are reducing your income potential.

Just tell them that you have decided to stick with kids who are there all day. It doesn't have to mean or rude, just tell them flat out that while you love the kids and it has been great, that you need to fill your spaces with full time kids. Tell them that you are so glad that you are neighbors so that you can still see Suzy and Johnny grow and you are so glad to remain their friends.

[small_steps]

I would let them go. Just give plenty of notice (a month maybe?) and tell them it's basically because you need 2 full time children in those full time slots. It's nothing personal and that you absolutely love those kiddos and will miss them but you have to do whats best for your family and that income would certainly help you guys a lot. If they are offended then oh well, but they should be understanding with your circumstances.

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

I would let them go. Explain that you need the full time pay. What a hard situation to be in but them disprespecting you is not okay!

[Soupyszoo]

Let them go! They are adults and should understand. You are not responsible for the way they choose to react. You have to do what's best for you and your family. The ride share is nice and I don't see why it couldn't continue unless they are mad and childish about your desicion. Either way you can work it out! Go with your gut! It sounds to me you know what you want to do

[Beach Baby]

I'd let them go too. Like everyone else said, just explain that you need more income. For them to say that they are doing you a favor would have been the end for me!

[KDC]

Thanks for the advice!!

It will feel like breaking up with a boyfriend did, back when I was single. I get hives just thinking about the conversation. I just need to present them with facts, and hope they understand. Common sense told me not renewing was the right decision. It's the emotional ties that I struggle with. If they take it personally it will TOTALLY ****. They know I struggle with summer's off, so I don't think it will come as a surprise. I think they just take it for granted that I wouldn't 'rock the boat'.

If the kids didn't live across the street from me, I might not have the courage to do it! I absolutely love the kids, and will definitely miss them!

[Crazy8]

I would absolutely let them go. Agree with the others about keeping it about financial reasons. I would keep them till the end of the school year (assuming you were going to anyway). Giving them notice a few weeks before school gets out gives them MONTHS to find a new arrangement for next year.

[nannyde]

You are making this way harder than it is friend.

Tell them that you are going to go to full time year around child care only as of X date. Tell them you love working with them and you dig their kids so you are offering the two full time year around slots to them first. Tell them your rate will be X for X hours and that they need to let you know by X if they are interested in the full time slots.

Tell them you are so excited to make this business change because it will bring much needed income into your family. Tell them you have a dream to do X Y and Z and this will get you closer to your dream. Some version of that.

They are going to be upset because they have gotten such an amazing deal. Any time the great deal goes away you are going to have upset. Balance their upsetedness with your excitement. Then you all will be "even". They will see that they haven't really been doing you a favor after all when they have to find good care for little money, no summers, and odd hours. They will see this AFTER they leave but being neighbors .. you will have the opportunity to see how this plays out for them. That's very cool.

It's not personal so stop making it personal. They need to grow some respect for you and they will when they try to replicate the special special they have received.

[KDC]

Part of me just feels really bad for them... The situation is pretty perfect for them. I literally live across the street from them in the cul-de-sac. They can walk their kids over 2 minutes before they have to leave for work, they have time to go home and change and relax before getting their kids, I am right by the bus stop and can get their kids on and off the bus for school for 1/2 day Kindergarten. A lot's going to change for them. Finding after school care and transportation and all that is going to take some doing...

[Mom&Provider]

You've clearly already said it yourself... "the situation is pretty perfect for them", but what about you??

I think due to the change in hours that will be happening you have more of a reason then you are giving yourself! You are already feeling the pinch and they have more hours now then they will next year, this would be the kicker for me and my out. I also live on a circle and understand where you are coming from, this is also why I have not taken on any kids that live directly on my circle - we are friends and sometimes that makes things harder, as you are finding out!

[saved4always]

I agree that telling them that you are going to a FT daycare only and offering them first dibs on the FT spots is a great way to tell them you need to make a change! Just the fact that they think they are doing you a favor is enough to cause more resentment on your side. If you keep it to the income needs of your family and what you need to do for the good of your business, they really have no right to be upset with you. Deep down they have to realize that they would do what is best for thier family, too. Don't feel sorry for them...they have gotten away with the perfect little scenario for themselves long enough.

[momofboys]

ITA with all the other posters. I would confront them friend to friend (if you can) & explain as the other posters mentioned (& I especially loved Nannyde's way of presenting this) that you need FT income, not PT. Will they expect to pay less this fall when the kids are in K & P-K? Then give them the option to possibly pay more (if you are willing to have them do this) to hold their spot or pay the same for the lightened load in the fall or work something out if they are willing to have the kids come 2-3 days/week in the summer. I hope it works out for you - KUP! If they don't agree or are upset about you quitting expect them to be unhappy with you - anytime you tell someone NO they will react in someway. This will be a good way to see their true colors & I hope if you do quit watching their family that you can still have a friendship.

[momofboys]

You've clearly already said it yourself... "the situation is pretty perfect for them", but what about you??


!

PErfectly worded!