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I have a DCB from a divorced family. According to mom there is court paper work that says that Dad’s girl friend is not allowed to pick the DCB up if Dad is out of town (Yes, Dad does go out of town often for work. No, I have not yet seen the paper work) Mom is going to bring the paperwork by for me to see (Yes, I will make a copy to keep on file). Mom thinks that Dad and his girlfriend are trying to pull a fast one (mom’s words), and pick the DCB up tomorrow Monday February 27th 2012 (Normally a Dad day) even though dad is still out of town. What I need to know is if the court order does say that the girlfriend cannot pick up when Dad is out of town, and she is on Dad’s list of authorized person to pick up and she picks up on regular bases when dad is in town. Can I deny the girlfriend DCB if dad is out of town and how would I know that Dad is out of town esp. if mom says Dad is out of town and Dad and/or his girl friend says Dad is not out of town.
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Last edited by Michael; 02-26-2012, 07:43 PM. -
Assuming the paperwork clearly states that the girlfriend is not allowed to pickup from daycare....the dad needs to provide a different emergency contact or authorized pickup person and you need to make sure that whether he is or is not in town, his child will never be able to leave your house with his girlfriend, period. You need to go over the paperwork and follow that, regardless of what the parents individually say. -
As of right now....you do not have a copy of any court order and Dad has said that girlfriend has permission to pick up on the paperwork you DO have. Go with that.
I tell parents that I MUST have a copy of any court orders IN MY POSSESSION or I cannot deny a biological parent or their designated pick up people.
Tell Mom that your hands are tied until you have a COPY of the court order in your possession.. SEEING it is not enough.
I have had situations where a parent will tell me "Don't give DCK to Mom/Dad" etc......I tell them all the same thing.......without a court order, they get the child. I cannot legally deny a parent unless I have paperwork to back it up. KNOWING about it doesn't count. So the parents MUST get me any paperwork ASAP.
If the Mom is that worried, she needs to get you a copy tonight or very early tomorrow. THEN, you can deny giving the DCK to the girlfriend.
As to whether the dad is or isn't in town....that's something the parents will have to figure out. It cannot be up to you to make that judgement call. You don't want an angry parents after you. Put ALL the responsibility in their laps.Comment
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I am getting a copy of the paper work tommow
What I do not know is if it say girl friend can not pick up if dad is out of town then what?
If it says she can not pick up that is easy I will not let DCB go with her ever. However, if it does say when dad is out of town I am not sure what to do.
I am checking in to this before seeing the paper work because I will get the papers about 1 hour before the girlfriend would normaly pick up.Comment
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I dont know what the regs are in your state, but here the mom cannot bar the girlfriend from picking the child up when dad is out of town, if the court order does not say so and she's on the pickup list.
If the court order does stipulate that the girlfriend may not pick up dcb if the dad is out of town, and you can't tell if Dad is out of town tomorrow or not, I would require that the dad come in and give you those dates before pickup time tomorrow. If he can't (because he probably is out of town) then I would require that mom pick up until he can.
If there's a custody case going on and we are unsure, we are allowed to err on the side of the caution (and the court order).Comment
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Why not make the contract with JUST the parent with primary physical custody.
Put all pick-ups/drop-offs back on Mom. This is way too much adult care and drama.
If Dad is to pick up....Mom should come get her child and make the swap off premises.
You should not be involved in any way if they are not mature enough to handle their own BS.
I call it the "Stupid Stipulation".
I could care less about their convenience, they created this situation... not you. Let the drama fall back on them....maybe then they will have to start to grow up before the REAL parenting challenges start.
If this drama continued, I'd put in a call to CPS. These situations spiral out of control fast if not stamped out by ADULTS. Sadly, it sounds like you may be the only actual adult in this situation.- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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Yes, way to much adult drama. I thought I had it under control with this family. Not sure how to make under control with this family. I do not knowWhy not make the contract with JUST the parent with primary physical custody.
Put all pick-ups/drop-offs back on Mom. This is way too much adult care and drama.
If Dad is to pick up....Mom should come get her child and make the swap off premises.
You should not be involved in any way if they are not mature enough to handle their own BS.
I call it the "Stupid Stipulation".
I could care less about their convenience, they created this situation... not you. Let the drama fall back on them....maybe then they will have to start to grow up before the REAL parenting challenges start.
If this drama continued, I'd put in a call to CPS. These situations spiral out of control fast if not stamped out by ADULTS. Sadly, it sounds like you may be the only actual adult in this situation.
who has primary custody the child came to me via Dad. I have not seen any court papers. Dad does not know that mom told me that court papers say
his girlfriend cannot pick up. He does know that his girlfriend told me that Dad has to supply daycare on his days when he is out of town. According to
Dad’s girlfriend, Dad never knows when he is going out of town. Dad days are Monday, Tuesday, and every other Friday, Mom can not pick up herself on
time on Mondays she has a class. When Dad is out of town she has her boyfriend pick up or she arranges with me to pick up 30 min late for a overtime fee.Comment
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DCM text me last night. Hi again Mrs. ****** It’s DCM, DCB’s mom. Just wanted to let you know that dad finally emailed me saying that I do not have
to pick DCB up tomorrow. He never confirmed that his is actually back in tow but I will just have to trust that he is. Thanks! Have a great evening!
I think I will tell Dad that I need to hear from him his schedule. If asked why I will say because I need to plan accordingly. When DCM picks up it is a different time than DCD.Comment
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If you didnt get the court order, it doesnt matter, but I would save the text.
And what about if there is a court order and mom gives permission for the GF to pick up once? General question, but what a mess!Comment
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Upon enrollment I require a copy of a custoday agreement if there is one otherwise they dont start. I have had a parent tell me no, that it was an invasion of privacy. I said okay then I have to conclude that there is 50/50 and DCD can pick up whenever or have whomever pick up. She said okay and gave me copy.Too many drama issues, otherwise.
It is sooo sad.Comment
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Copy of the court orders AND you want to speak with any attorney's they have to confirm and clarify the paperwork. If they don't allow this, term IMMEDIATELY. Also, call your state to verify your state's orders on situations like this.Comment
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