How To Strike A Balance?

[Mary Poppins]

Does anyone else find it difficult to strike a balance between being too nice and too strict when it comes to policies?

I admit I am a worrier by nature so I tend to overthink things and what people think of me matters WAYYY too much. It is a flaw, I know, and one that I HAVE to get over if I want this to be a long term career. So because of this, I find it difficult to use my backbone (which when I do use it, it feels so good!).

My fear is that if I come across as too strict with policies, clients won't sign on.

I guess I don't want to be seen as a dc biotch. ::

So I do things that I regret later. Ugh.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this?

[littlemissmuffet]

I am a worrywart by nature as well. Except when it comes to my business policies. I would rather be firm about my policies right off the bat and have a family not sign up (which won't happen with families who respect the fact you're running a business and need rules, like any other business) than be a softie and have parents thinking they can walk all over me - which will of course, cause more worry. stress and drama in the end.

Being wishy washy in this business DO NOT WORK. The providers who burn out are often the providers who don't have a voice, who don't know when or how to put their foot down and don't know how to take control of the situation.

We have rules for a reason - and no, not to be broken. If you're not going to follow through on enforcing your policies than there is no sense in wasting anyone's time even mentioning you have policies, KWIM?

[Ariana]

I am pretty strict and don't mind upholding my strict policies. This is why at the beginning I make sure they understand my policies and if they have any questions or concerns about them before they sign.

I agree with missmuffit this is a business and you're the CEO. Being wishy washy will send a message that you would rather be nice than be respected. It took my husband to point this out to me. Whenever I send an e-mail to parents he proof reads it to eliminate the wishy washy stuff like "maybe" or "do you think" or "I don't know". He's really taught me a lot!! I was wording e-mails to parents the same way I would to friends and that's not being professional. They're not my friends they're my clients.

I should also add that I've never had a family turn me down from an interview! In fact all of them have told me that they really like my contract because it's very clear and professional. I think the type of families you wantto do business with will appreciate you being strict. The ones who don't want to sign on are the ones who want to take advantage of you.

[Mom&Provider]

I also over think how parents will/do react to things I say or do, but I try to remind myself that this is MY daycare, MY rules and I have to run it the way I feel is best...no questions asked.

I feel good when I enforce the rules also, especially when it's towards a family who tends to try to bend the rules often. I know it's hard when we need the money to help our own families, but sometimes I find it helpful to consider there are other families out there who will apprciate what I do and if someone chooses to leave because they don't like how I do something fine!

[Mary Poppins]

Again, thanks for the input.

One problem I need help getting past is when I interview, I inevitably hear from clients what they disliked about their last daycare and it usually comes down to illness, paid holidays, etc. In other words, policies! I guess I don't quite know how to defend all these "unfair" policies from a provider POV because I'm so new to this and as a parent, I can understand their frustrations so I tend to sympathize. I have then tried to make my own policies something the parents will be happy with and used that as a selling point.

Yep - I am a people pleaser and I know that is my biggest obstacle!!

The longer I do this, the more I understand as a provider why so many of these seemingly "unfair" policies are a necessity. I just need to implement them and then grow confident defending them, which I plan to start doing NOW.

I just worry (I know, I know ) that because I used the fact that I was more "flexible" than most dc's around here as my selling point, I will run off my clients. I guess if that happens, oh well.

I look at it as a first year evolution and I'm grateful for this forum to draw knowledge from. Without it I'd be lost!

Thanks again for the support. You guys are great.

[PitterPatter]

I have always been a people please and bent over backwards for eveyone. I just cared too much what people thought of me. NOW since cominghere I have grown a backbone and I am nice until it's time to not be nice and that's when a client is disrespecting my policies. I still have a ways to go and let certain thinsg go but I have come a long way.

I find that when I lay the law down and don't budge the first few times then it's usually smooth sailing from there. USUALLY!

[Cat Herder]

Balancing it with humor seems to work best.

It will be necessary to stop advertising as "more flexible than everyone else" since that just tells the experienced hoppers and PITA'S you are a perfect target.

It also makes the other providers less likely to try to help you out.

I know a few who'd purposely send you ALL their bad interviews/calls since you seemed to be asking for it with an ad like that.... Come on, admit it....you'd want to do the same to a newbie who was trying to undercut your established business, right? ::::

Time to start fresh. lay down the law, and enjoy your life.... happyface It gets really good from here.....

[My3cents]

Balancing it with humor seems to work best.

It will be necessary to stop advertising as "more flexible than everyone else" since that just tells the experienced hoppers and PITA'S you are a perfect target.

It also makes the other providers less likely to try to help you out.

I know a few who'd purposely send you ALL their bad interviews/calls since you seemed to be asking for it with an ad like that.... Come on, admit it....you'd want to do the same to a newbie who was trying to undercut your established business, right? ::::

Time to start fresh. lay down the law, and enjoy your life.... happyface It gets really good from here.....

Thank goodness for this forum!!! I have learned so much and how to have a back bone ( I still work on this, because it doesn't come naturally to me ) The business's that are serious about doing childcare don't conduct business with a wishy washy attitude. I look to the seasoned providers for wisdom. I agree with you Caturder- if your going to do this, do it right from the start and learn as you go. Have clear policies and when needed point them out. Don't undercut the established. I find the ones that do try to undercut don't stay around long-