Dirty Boy

[kayla]

Ok so i feel really bad. One of my dcb (i have posted about him before) is always dirty and smells like an ash tray, tells me he doesnt get baths and that he doesnt have a toothbrush. Well yesterday i had a drop in for my neighbor and the "dirty boy" says oh i like n*** i said oh yeah well thats good. The "dirty boy" says yeah he smells good, I myself didnt smell anything so i bend over and smell him. He just smelled clean. How sad is that?? The little boy can obviously smell when people are clean because he is never clean. I feel so bad for him. Im sure he would love to smell clean. All i wish for this kid is even one day that he gets a bath, brushes his teeth, combs his hair, and gets the oppurtunity to have all new clothes and shoes. I think it would make him feel absolutely wonderful to be a clean boy. But i doubt he will ever experience that because his parents smoke in the car and in the house. His mom is a drinker and both his parents smoke constantly. He never wears clean clothes, and if they are you cant tell because like i said they smoke constantly. He never has clothes that fit every single one of his shirts show his belly button. His socks never match "because mommy never matches them" and he will show up with one of his dads socks on one foot and one of his baby sisters on the other. I just dont understand how these parents think its ok. And how they let him leave the house like that. I have called cps on the family before but they didnt do anything because i was the only person that has ever reported the family. I dont understand how though because he has an older brother and sister that go to school, arn't school teachers mandated reporters as well??? I just pray one day this little boy has a fair shot at life. You can tell he already has self esteem issues.

[Sunchimes]

That's so sad. Makes you want to haunt garage sales just so he can have clean clothes at your house.

As for CPS, I can offer on possibility. Once upon a time, we were foster parents. During our training we were told that CPS didn't remove kids for dirty homes unless it was so bad that it was toxic. They said there just weren't enough foster homes to remove kids because parents weren't clean. It's sad, but probably still true.

[itlw8]

I would give him a toothbrush to use at your house.

I would also tell mom he smells and has noticed it. I also would call the hotline again and ask what you should do. With a pattern they will start to check into it.

Maybe you could even go so far as have a change of clean clothes for him to change into at your house.

[CheekyChick]

If it were me, I would write his parents a note stating that the smell of smoke is bothersome to you and others and you would like their permission to bathe him in the mornings. I would also mention that you've noticed that he often wears clothes and socks that are too small/big and that you will start picking up items for him at garage sales.

NO child should feel lesser than others because his/her parents are so careless about their own children. Very sad.

[kayla]

omg.. makes sense. And i would buy him clothes and such from garage sales but my problem with that is i never know when his parents are going to show up so he would end up going home in the clothes i bought for my house and he would probably never come back in them, they would probably get used on his older brother or something... I just hate it.. Any time another kid comes in with clean clothes or something new he always notices and say oh i like your shirt..He knows he is the dirty boy, it breaks my heart!!

[kayla]

Also i said something about the smoke before, and she called me basically yelling at me for saying anything saying that they dont smoke in the car or in the house. When there child has told me they do both, also he wouldnt smell like an ash tray if they didnt smoke in the car or in the house.

[sharlan]

I would buy a couple of sets of clothes and a toothbrush for this boy. I would just make sure that I changed him before sending him home at night.

Is he small enough that you can give him a quick bath in the kitchen sink?

[CheekyChick]

omg.. makes sense. And i would buy him clothes and such from garage sales but my problem with that is i never know when his parents are going to show up so he would end up going home in the clothes i bought for my house and he would probably never come back in them, they would probably get used on his older brother or something... I just hate it.. Any time another kid comes in with clean clothes or something new he always notices and say oh i like your shirt..He knows he is the dirty boy, it breaks my heart!!

Poor baby...

At yard sales, you can often find pants/shirt for a quarter. I would even leave your number and tell them if they have anything left over (after the sale) that you would be happy to pick up the clothes they would either toss or bring to Goodwill. Oh, and some churches give away clothes at certain times during the year. I would LOAD UP at those.

I would then let him take the clothes home to keep. He can even share with his brother because I'm sure he feels badly too. When/if he brings them back, run them through the wash and make them smell pretty again for him. )

Children are put into our lives for a reason. Maybe the ONE and ONLY happy memory from his childhood will be YOU and how much you cared for him.

[KBCsMommy]

If it were me, I would write his parents a note stating that the smell of smoke is bothersome to you and others and you would like their permission to bathe him in the mornings. I would also mention that you've noticed that he often wears clothes and socks that are too small/big and that you will start picking up items for him at garage sales.

NO child should feel lesser than others because his/her parents are so careless about their own children. Very sad.

This is what I have done too. I have a child that comes in smoke smelling clothes too. I asked permission to bathe the child, parent could of cared less. I bought a few sets of outfits for the child. I changed and bathed them during morning nap. If I had time I would wash the clothes they came in, then I would change them at the end of the day into the clothes they came in from parents house. PITA but the child smelled better and felt better.

[kayla]

no he is four and a big four year old at that. I would do that but i guess im afraid the mom will get mad and call me yelling or something..she also works with my husband. On valentines day he was my only kid and my husband said she got off at 11 am well she didnt show up here til after i was closed. She always calls me whenever i say anything saying that oh she does this and that, when i know so obviously she doesnt.

[CheekyChick]

Also i said something about the smoke before, and she called me basically yelling at me for saying anything saying that they dont smoke in the car or in the house. When there child has told me they do both, also he wouldnt smell like an ash tray if they didnt smoke in the car or in the house.

For one, I would NOT allow her to yell at me. Secondly, you need to be firm and tell her that he DOES smell and it DOES bother you. Period. You have to be firm. She is getting away with neglect and doesn't like anyone calling her on it.

[kayla]

I will try standing up to her next time i say something and she tries to down play the situation. Right now im washing his jacket because i cant stand to walk by the entry and smell the stench coming off his jacket. Im sure she will say someting and i will just tell her that it smelled like smoke and it was bothering me and some of my other parents.

[daycare]

In CA it is against the law to smoke in your car if minors are present. Is there such a law in your state?

[kayla]

In CA it is against the law to smoke in your car if minors are present. Is there such a law in your state?

Not at this time but they are trying to pass it. But i have a bulletin board in my entry way and have a flier posted, stating that children around second hand smoke are 50 % more likely to have learning dissabilities and other problems such as adhd..

[Sunchimes]

I would just keep buying quarter clothes for him and chalking it up to building karma. Sure, mom benefits because you are outfitting her child, but sometimes, that has to take second place.

In my life, I figure kids and animals are all that really count. The rest I leave to someone else to deal with.

Previous poster said that you may be the best memory of his childhood. That's so true. Many years ago, I helped some neighborhood kids. I moved away long ago, but one of them found me on New Year's Eve this year and told me what I had meant to them when they were kids. They don't forget!