Why Do Parents LIE?

[Soupyszoo]

I watch a dcb who is 1 1/2 yo. He's a very sweet little boy! He has no structure at home. His mom is always telling me that he won't "let" her change his diaper, put on his coat, brush his teeth etc... it doesn't sound like he has any routine or structure. She has told me that he won't sleep in his own bed so he sleeps with her and her husband and wakes up screaming. She says he bites them in his sleep and head butts them and the wall and then wakes up crying...

So every morning when they get here, i ask her how he slept last night.. and she will say, "OH! he slept great! He slept all night long!" Then about 10 minutes after she's gone he's fast asleep on the living room floor and will sleep upwards of 5 hours at a time.

Later in the day i will mention how tired he was and how long he slept and she will say, "I'm not surprised, he didn't sleep much last night." This has happened on a couple different occasions!

WTH?! You told me he slept all night! Why Does she feel the need to lie to me about stupid stuff like that? I need to know the truth so I know how to plan his day!

I have tried suggesting a more structured bed time routine for him at home. I have offered to try to keep him awake longer during the days to see if that will help him sleep at home. She says she doesn't like to hear him cry so thats why they let him sleep with them and no one apparently gets any sleep! Here he sleeps in his pnp in my room and sleeps wonderfully and never cries!

She says she doesn't want me to keep him up or wake him up when he sleeps long. So i've pretty much given up. He comes to me exhausted and sleeps all day most days.

What would you guys do??

She lies about stuff like that all the time! Why?? Very frustrating :confused:

[familyschoolcare]

I am not sure what to do about the childs cleeping.


The Mom lies because, that is what is easier. She does not whant to hear what you have to say about her parent choices at home.

[cheerfuldom]

She is lying because it is easier in the moment and words are easier for her than actions. she doesnt care enough about the situation to do anything to change it. The only thing you can do is let this child sleep. All of my daycare kids have done that at certain points in their lives. Some of the parents try and do a routine, the others just don't care and run the kid ragged and leave me to pick up the pieces.

[DaycareMom]

Next time you ask her and she contradicts herself - call her out on it.

"what? I thought you said he slept great all through the night?!? ...

"DCM, I need to know how he sleeps so I can plan his days. If he needs extra sleep here, I don't mind, I just need to know so I can play his days accordingly"

[momma2girls]

If I have parents that lie to me, or act like they don't know. I have always called them out on it. I once had a child that had seperation anxiety so bad. His Dad dropped him off one day, and I asked him does he scream alot when you both leave the room. He responded, yeah, all the time, we finally just have to put him in his pack and play to calm down. HA!! I told him I just asked his gf(Mom) and said no, never!! Needless to say this family didn't last long after that. They would both lie and lie and lie!!

[Soupyszoo]

You are all right! She doesn't want to hear my opinion. And she doesn't want to know that he's better here than at home. She is doing the easiest thing for her and not considering what is best for him. Since when did parenting become so much about whats easiest and not about what's best, even if what's best might be hard?!

[Ariana]

If there is anything I've learned in my 1 and half years of home daycare it's that 90% of parents don't care as much as you do about any situation!! 10% are AWESOME but the others couldn't care less if their child is tired, anxious, not eating, hitting, witholding poop/pee etc.

Just keep offering this poor little boy a place to sleep and try and stop stressing because thats about all you can do

[wdmmom]

I don't care what happens at home. I never ask how DCK slept, ate, etc.

If DCP feels at liberty to tell me that the child didn't sleep good or eat well, I will see how he does here.

Sounds to me like this child needs structure and routine. From now on, I would do just that. Since clearly he needs a morning nap, I would make sure he ate breakfast and put him down for a nap right when he gets there. I wouldn't let him sleep anymore than an hour and a half so that you can get a full afternoon nap out of him later in the day. See how that works.

As for DCM...some people don't think about what they say. At least I've come to the conclusion. The less interaction, the better. They don't want to tell you that Johnny was running a low grade fever and was in bed at 6pm and slept til 6am. Then as a precautionary measure, she doped him up on Tylenol. So it's just easier to say, "Oh he slept great."

They're words that have no correllation on how he will be in your house.

[PitterPatter]

The Mom lies because she knows she's wrong. That's it! She knows she is gulity of not providing a healthy routine for this child and it's wrong so she lies. She's probably too busy with her own social life or too lazy to tend to her child. BTDT And if you ever really confront her on it all she will lash out and accuse you of accusing her of calling her a bad mother!