Tantrums And Behavior Issues In 4 Yr Old

[Ariana]

I am reading this as a mother of a 4 yr old with the EXACT problems you are describing. It is very well possible that the child can act out at school and NOT at home. As hard as it is to believe...it is true! I have read article after article, book after book.....My son fits the description of Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Children "act out" in situations where there is structure and they resist it. My son refused to do any classwork and had tantrums in which he would throw chairs and hit teachers and even throw shoes at them. I was at a complete loss for words b/c he would not dare act like that at home. However at home I did not have the type of strict schedule...like 10 minutes of science, 20 min circle time, etc. My son also had symptoms similar to temporal lobe ADHD in which children are defiant, aggressive, violent. It is very hard for a mother that cares about her child 100%!!! I am a VERY involved mother and always have been- I have another son that is 7 and never had ONE behavior incident w/ him. So my suggestion is to not always judge the parent..b/c there are some parents that just have children with emotional/behavioral issues and it is not the parent's fault. It is known that behavior and emotional issues can sometimes be inherited. the last school my son was asked to leave, the owner actually told me that she did not feel as if she had the resources to really benefit my son and that she felt an outside source could be helpful. Our plan was to get a behaviorist/psychologist to come in and observe so that the they could provide the staff w/ some insight on which direction to go. I really appreciated that approach. It made me feel as if they cared and like they didn't just want to give up on him. Mom may not be ready to hear that, but it is an alternative to asking the child to leave if that is not what you really want to do. I started giving my child a homeopathic remedy for ADHD and he is on a gluten free diet and I have had little to no problems with him at the new school which he has been attending for about 2 months. SO HAPPY about that... Good luck!

You sound like a wonderful mom trying to help her son and cooperate with the caregiver!

[daycare]

happyface

Kudos to you. YOu do sound like a fabulous parent and thanks for sharing this with all of us...

[Heidi]

You sound like a wonderful mom trying to help her son and cooperate with the caregiver!

You are exactly what most of us would want:

Caregiver/Teacher tells you there is an issue, and you say "wow, ok, I didn't know that. Now, how do we fix it?" vs. "that's just not possible, he never does that at home"...

It's frustrating to have a child with this sort of issue. It's almost impossible to help a child with this sort of issue without teamwork!

[Hmorsag]

Thanks!!

Thank you to all for the great advice. As it turns out - the parent un-enrolled the child the day after I placed this post. Not necessarily the outcome I wanted - but I think we both knew it just wasn't the right place for him. As it turns out he is now on my daughters little league team and he seems to be doing well.

Thanks again for the advice.