2 Naps To 1: Child Not Sleeping Long Anymore - Advice Please

[SunshineMama]

Sorry in advance for the long post.

My daughter will be 16 months old next week. We are in the two naps to one nap transition. As of last week, she refused to take 2 naps a day. Now, she will only take 1 nap for an hour (she was taking 1-2 hour naps 2 times a day), and I know that she needs more. With two naps, she was sleeping from 7:00 pm until 6:30am, and now she is sleeping only 7:00pm until 5:30am. I know that children need to sleep, and that sleep begets more sleep, but I am at a loss as to how to get her to sleep longer for her nap. She cut out almost 3 hours a day from her sleep routine!

I tried CIO with her when she was 5 months old. I tried it for almost 4 months, and it never worked. She was in the 10% of children who do not respond to CIO my doctor said. I did a ton of work with her to get her to the point where she would nap in her crib, and it was going well for about 5 months or so, until last week. I tried CIO again Friday-today, and it still didnt work

Poor thing is exhausted. I finally got her out of the crib this afternoon after she screamed for 45 minutes with no signs of giving up. She then screamed for another 30 minutes in the room with me. I ended up having to resort to carrying her in a Mei Tai, and she just now fell asleep. (I am standing up typing this as she sleeps in her Mei Tai carrier).

Do you have any suggestions on why she might be doing this? No signs of teething, and she already had her molars out. I don't think she is sick- she is sleeping and going down at night just fine. The only difference is her sudden refusal to take 2 naps.

Has anyone else experienced this problem with their own children while running a daycare? All of my daycare kids, and my older child sleep like rocks. If I didn't get them up they would stay in bed and sleep.

Please offer any experience of advice.

[mac60]

I would just stay consistent with trying to get the two naps. I think 16 mo is too young to be switching to one. Put her down at the same time each day and don't let her up. If you designate time for a nap, leave her for that time. Kids here are on two naps till almost 2, and some after 2 depending on their moods and if they still need 2 or not.

[Heidi]

Well, here it is...she screamed long enough, and she got you to come get her and put her in a carrier (I assume the Mia Tia or whatever is not a ****tail! ) ::

First of all, she's 16 months old, and her receptive language is a whole lot better than her expressive language.

Lay her down for her nap when the others go down. Let her go last so she sees EVERYONE ELSE IS SLEEPING NOW. Put a fan in her room, put her in a sleep sack so you don't have to worry about her climbling out. Put another fan or other white noise in the hallway for a while so the others can't hear her.

THen lay her down; when she wakes up, give her back her stuffed animal or blanket or whatver she likes to cuddle, and whisper "it's still nap time, sweetie. Everyone is sleeping. I will come get you when nap time is over". Then stiick to that. Don't show her if you feel guilty, because she will pick up on that. Try to be matter-of-fact, hard as it is. She can choose to cry, or sleep, or play. She can understand what you are telling her. If she doesn't today, she will by the end of the week.

I have had several children who wake up after an hour, cry for a few minutes, and then go back to sleep. If she is taking one nap, they should be 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

Once you she's slept enough, go get her first, then get everyone else up (for a while) so that she knows she didn't miss out on anything.


You KNOW she needs more sleep. She will be happier if she has it. You DO know best, and she may not understand that, but you do!

[SunshineMama]

Thanks- I am going to give it a try today and see how it goes. I like the idea of her seeing everyone else going down for a nap. Maybe it will help! I am going to try the fan too. I only got out the Mei Tai (carrier, not the drink ) because I knew that she absolutely needed to sleep and that was the only way that I could get her rest at all. She is extremely active!

I know that, with my own children anyway, my problem is consistency. I can very easily get all of my daycare kids down, no problems, but there is a part of me that feels like I am betraying her trust or something, as her mother, to leave her to scream. (Never had to do CIO with the daycare kids, they are all so easy). When I tried it before when she was younger, her weight dropped to the 5th percentile, she refused to be held, and I could not soothe her at all. I was working at first and her provider termed her because she would never CIO, which is why I am looking for other options. I am so torn between the literature that states that CIO is damaging to kids and the viewpoint that they will be fine. She is a difficult one

Cross your fingers that today goes better!

[Heidi]

Thanks- I am going to give it a try today and see how it goes. I like the idea of her seeing everyone else going down for a nap. Maybe it will help! I am going to try the fan too. I only got out the Mei Tai (carrier, not the drink ) because I knew that she absolutely needed to sleep and that was the only way that I could get her rest at all. She is extremely active!

I know that, with my own children anyway, my problem is consistency. I can very easily get all of my daycare kids down, no problems, but there is a part of me that feels like I am betraying her trust or something, as her mother, to leave her to scream. (Never had to do CIO with the daycare kids, they are all so easy). When I tried it before when she was younger, her weight dropped to the 5th percentile, she refused to be held, and I could not soothe her at all. I was working at first and her provider termed her because she would never CIO, which is why I am looking for other options. I am so torn between the literature that states that CIO is damaging to kids and the viewpoint that they will be fine. She is a difficult one

Cross your fingers that today goes better!

Yes, consistency is important. If she can manipulate you now, she will certainly do it at 14! I am telling you all this assuming you are not co-sleeping, right? If you are, I am not judging, but it'll be a lot harder if she's conditioned to have you next to her.

First of all, you have to give her more credit! SHe is perfectly capable of sleeping. It's just a basic human need. Would she rather have you there with her? Well, duh! But, she needs to learn to do it on your own, or believe me, she won't do it on her own in a year either.

As for trust, you need to trust that she can do this, and she also needs to trust that you mean what you say, right? Think of it from that perspective. Stating "I WILL come get you when nap is over", and then delivering, also builds trust. After all, she is in her BED, not being tortured. She is LUCKY to have her very own bed to snuggle in. It's a bit about how you present it. Don't stand there looking guilty, saying I am sorry. Tell her in a loving way, and be confident about it. She may not believe you the first day, but after a few days, she'll get it.

My tough sleepers always get a little tour of their bed..(whispering) "oh look at your nice soft blanket. It's so nice to snuggle with. Oh, and here's you favorite bear. He's so soft and warm". Then they get hugs and kisses, and I GO. As I turn to leave the room, I remind them "I will see you at 3:00". THen get out and stay out.


One more idea: If you have and extra clock radio, put it in her room and set it for when nap time is over. Tell her "when the music plays, then nap time is over, and I will come get you". Having some external reinforcement may help her understand that it's going to happen. Maybe you could work towards doing the same thing in the morning, so that she knows she can stay in bed and play, and you will come get her when the music turns on. Of course, the first few days, you'll wake up anyway, but stay put and wait!

[SunshineMama]

So I put her down this morning at 9:30, when I put dcb down for his am nap. I put him down first and had her wave night night, took her to her room, turned on the fan, did an abbreviated version of our bedtime routine, and told her I would come and get her after nap.

She cried for 35 minutes, but did fall asleep. It is so hard for me to hear her cry I am a big softie. Usually she would just keep crying and never sleep, so I am happy about the progress. Unfortunately a neighbor knocked on my door this morning which woke her up after 30 minutes, so I got her up after that.

We will see how afternoon nap goes, since usually she refuses more than 1 nap, but I will try the same thing. I suppose I will keep doing the same thing. I am going to put her down at 2:00 today.

I like the music idea as well. Thank you so much for the advice and support. Sometimes it is easier to have someone who is unbiased assess the situation and offer advice.

[Heidi]

So I put her down this morning at 9:30, when I put dcb down for his am nap. I put him down first and had her wave night night, took her to her room, turned on the fan, did an abbreviated version of our bedtime routine, and told her I would come and get her after nap.

She cried for 35 minutes, but did fall asleep. It is so hard for me to hear her cry I am a big softie. Usually she would just keep crying and never sleep, so I am happy about the progress. Unfortunately a neighbor knocked on my door this morning which woke her up after 30 minutes, so I got her up after that.

We will see how afternoon nap goes, since usually she refuses more than 1 nap, but I will try the same thing. I suppose I will keep doing the same thing. I am going to put her down at 2:00 today.

I like the music idea as well. Thank you so much for the advice and support. Sometimes it is easier to have someone who is unbiased assess the situation and offer advice.

I'm sorry, I never addresses the one nap/two nap issue:

I don't know what time the others go down, but if she can hold out until then (or you can change thier nap time a bit), then I would start moving her to one nap. I think 16-18 months is the norm on that.

If it's such a struggle, I would not want to go through it twice a day. When the twins started fighting the 2nd nap at 13 months, we switched them to one. There were a few rough days, but it would have been rough no matter what. At least we could get outside in the am's because they weren't sleeping.

[SunshineMama]

I did give her 2 naps yesterday, and she ended up sleeping an extra hour and a half this morning, and has been in a great mood since. I put her down again this morning and she only cried for about 10 minutes, which was considerably less than yesterday. I feel like she probably still needs 2 naps if she is sleeping longer at night when she has them and is in a better mood, but when she started fighting them the other week I thought it was time for one. I don't know.... She napped for one hour this morning, so maybe I will get another hour in this afternoon. If she refuses to go down at all and screams for too long maybe that's a sign she is ready for 1 nap?

I have never had to do this transition before, even with my oldest, since she was cared for by her grandparents while I worked, and all of my daycare kids are either still on 2 naps or older, so it's hard to judge exactly how many hours of sleep she needs.

Thank you very much for all of your advice!

[Lilbutterflie]

I just made this transition to 1 nap with a dcb. He is 15 months. I will usually transition b/w 12-18 months depending on the child. His signs of readiness for me is that he would sleep okay in the am; but sometimes he would not take a pm nap at all. If he did take a pm nap, it was only 30-40 min. I have let him CIO, but he is a stubborn one and usually once awake will never go back to sleep.

We transitioned two weeks ago; and he is doing great. I can tell by about 10am that he is tired, and he will sometimes do a sign for "nite nite" (which for him is actually to wave bye-bye); but I just keep him busy and active and he does just fine! He sleeps about 2 hours in the afternoon. Sometimes he wakes up after an hour, but since he is really tired from no am nap; he goes back to sleep very quickly.

It sounds like your DD just wasn't quite ready for that transition yet, seeing as though she seems to be doing a lot better going back on two naps. You can always make the transition later when you think she's ready again. But for consistency sake; the next time you make the transition you should stick with it.