Omg!!! Think I Am Going To Have To Let Assistant Go

[Cat Herder]

Well with out speaking to another person that way I'll tell you. Please no dram though she asked for advise and someone commented about her being stress or what ever . I really didn't pay that much attention because it didn't seem that rude but sahm thought it was, which ok she commented, no biggy but then you just kept posting about it and even investigated and put some of her post up and pretty mush said yes you are stressed and bla bla srry, I can't remember the exact convo , I really don't comment on stuff that is confrontational but i feel for her I get stressed ,not from kids but from parents and assistants and so forth. But sorry I didn't mean to offend you in any way I just feel for sahm.

I understand that. lovethis I feel for her too.

That is why I went back to see if she was being targeted and back her up if that was the case.

I did that because she said she was going to leave... That made no sense to me because ,to me, she was getting close to having her kinks worked out for a great summer. :confused:

I want her to succeed and be happy...and it seemed right around the corner so her suddenly talking of leaving the forum seemed out of sorts.

[Blackcat31]

Ok srry , just my own thoughts. May I have them:confused: just what I seen. No biggy let's not start an augment .

Nope, you are right..you are entitled toyour own thoughts.

I just didn't understand why you were thinking Catherder was doing anything but helping. She is one of the most supportive, kind hearted and caring people I know so I was just honestly taken aback by someone thinking she was being mean or instigating something.

I wasn't trying to argue with you or be dramatic about it. No hard feelings.

We are all here for support and I think it was good/nice that you were sticking up for SAHM2three if you felt she was being "picked on".....I just didn't think she was, so that is where my thoughts were coming from.

[itlw8]

I would not fire her I would however explain your reason for needing an assistant has changed. You no longer need a full time assistant but if she would be willing you would love to hire her at an hourly rate for when you need to get away. Could you even give her say 3 hours a week?

$10 an hour

[wdmmom]

I would start advertising for the opening. Find someone that you can work well with. Someone that can physically meet all the demands of the job. When you interview, make yourself clear on absences! I tell my staff assistant you have to be half dead to miss a day of work. These parents rely on us and in turn, we rely on our assistants. They will either have exceptional work ethic and work the days and hours they are scheduled or they won't.

My staff assistant works 4 days per week. She's missed 2 days in the first 5 weeks. I had "the talk" with her and he knows that if she misses anymore work, not only will she not get a good reference from me, but I will replace her.

I think young people these days think they are entitled. They work as little as possible to collect the paycheck. They don't want to work, they don't want to come in but they want the money. Sometimes telling them they can be replaced is all it takes for them to wake up and understand it.

Find an assistant that will work for minimum wage up to $12 an hour based on experience. I think you'll be much better off. And only schedule them the hours you need them.

I have my assistant here for 3 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. She has a 2.5 hour break to do appointments, run errands, have lunch, etc. I don't pay an assistant to be here through naptime except for Thursdays. That is our big cleaning day so she keeps busy while they are napping.

[Country Kids]

I'm having it tough also, so when you write these things my heart breaks for you. My husband has never seen me cry so much since this year. Me crying on Valentines day broke his heart-

It seems like the minute I get one problem fixed there is another one. That is what is wearing me out more than anything. Its also not one childs behavior but all of them. It seems like I can find the right fit for them. Terming them all is not an option. I'm thinking of actually having someone from CCR&R come in and see if they can give me some ideas after observing the kids.

I'm not new at this, pretty seasoned veteran! So that is what is frustrating me the most.

If you would like to pm me, please feel free.

[Heidi]

I'm having it tough also, so when you write these things my heart breaks for you. My husband has never seen me cry so much since this year. Me crying on Valentines day broke his heart-

It seems like the minute I get one problem fixed there is another one. That is what is wearing me out more than anything. Its also not one childs behavior but all of them. It seems like I can find the right fit for them. Terming them all is not an option. I'm thinking of actually having someone from CCR&R come in and see if they can give me some ideas after observing the kids.

I'm not new at this, pretty seasoned veteran! So that is what is frustrating me the most.

If you would like to pm me, please feel free.

Oh Country....

Do you think someone from the CC & R would come? I would, but I'm pretty sure we're nowhere near each other. Sometimes just having someone else observe can give you a fresh perspective, eh? I hope they are willing to observe & give constructive feedback!

I know this first year back hasn't been ideal for me, either. I USED to feel like I knew what I was doing, but this year there are has been a lot of questioning myself. Spring is comming, though, and the youngest kids are a little older, so at least I feel like there's a light ahead!

[Country Kids]

Oh Country....

Do you think someone from the CC & R would come? I would, but I'm pretty sure we're nowhere near each other. Sometimes just having someone else observe can give you a fresh perspective, eh? I hope they are willing to observe & give constructive feedback!

I know this first year back hasn't been ideal for me, either. I USED to feel like I knew what I was doing, but this year there are has been a lot of questioning myself. Spring is comming, though, and the youngest kids are a little older, so at least I feel like there's a light ahead!

Oh thank you so much bbo! No, we are thousands of miles apart yet visit in each others homes every day- Thank you for overing to come over though. I have questioned myself alot this year and actually have done some planning in the future but its in the future not right now. I'm going to call CCR&R next week and see if they will do a home visit.

I get the whole USED to feel thing. Funny when you take some time off and come back its not always the same. I so see a difference in children now then when I did this fulltime about 5 years ago. That is what is totally frustrating to me also. What gets me through the day is reading others stories and seeing its not just me! I just wish we could get back to the way things use to be!

[nannyde]

Two days a week we have quiet days with usually only 5 kids here, and we actually are down a couple kids after the drama a couple weeks ago, so even without her, I am in compliance. As far as the 60/40 split, we came up with that so that it was pretty even after paying bills. She is supposed to make it so that I can attend my children's school stuff and take them to and from school.

Friend that's a terrible deal for you. It sounds like it's time to start over with someone who doesn't get a cut of the business... just a flat salary. You have forty percent of your week when you don't even need her and you are paying her forty percent of the salary.

Time to just put her on an hourly rate with hours that work when YOU need her. She has NO power here at all. She's your employee not your partner. Offer her a new deal. Also, I pray you aren't allowing her to bring her kids too. If you are you are paying way more than forty percent of your business to her. Two slots are very valuable and having staff kids in the house is a heavy burden on the business. You may find if you start over with a fresh employee with stricter rules you may have a lot of the issues you have been having recently diminish or disapear.

You are showing us veteran providers a pattern that is indicitive of HIGH stress and fatigue. We know how this turns out and it's never good. We are trying to counsel you. Take what we say and believe.