Catty Little Girls

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I have 3 DCG's all the age of 3 going on 4.

I know it's normal for girls to kinda single out others from their clique.

But these 2 DCG's, one has been here for over a year, the other has been here for 5 months are being really horrible to the new DCG.

The new-er girl has been here as a drop in since October, but has become a full time girl this month.

The 2 girls have been withholding toys from dcg #3. So badly to the point that I have been telling the other 2 to put the toys away then. You cant play with them either.

It's the same with certain chairs, furniture, ect.

How can I get rid of this behavior? They are making dcg #3 life miserable and she is often in tears.

[PitterPatter]

I have 3 DCG's all the age of 3 going on 4.

I know it's normal for girls to kinda single out others from their clique.

But these 2 DCG's, one has been here for over a year, the other has been here for 5 months are being really horrible to the new DCG.

The new-er girl has been here as a drop in since October, but has become a full time girl this month.

The 2 girls have been withholding toys from dcg #3. So badly to the point that I have been telling the other 2 to put the toys away then. You cant play with them either.

It's the same with certain chairs, furniture, ect.

How can I get rid of this behavior? They are making dcg #3 life miserable and she is often in tears.

Aww that's sad! I would try and explain to the other girls how they are making new DCG feel. Also at the 1st sign of 1 of them excluding her or being mean I would have that child sit in time out and be excluded herself and watch you and the other girls play. Maybe they will learn by example. I would take more time for the new DCG and give her extra 1 on 1 time and make it fun. Laugh if up etc make the other 2 girls want to join Her. When they take an interest welcome them with smiles and encourage their group play. I have only had that happen in 1 case. This worked for us. Good luck.

[MarinaVanessa]

I would separate the other two girls and give them activities that they have to do alone. I don't condone bullying and bullying includes hoarding things and isolating others. Give them both a clear warning of what you expect and what the consequences are. Use "I" messages instead of "you" messages and tell them what they need to do do vs what they should not do and make sure that they're direct messages.

"Suzie, Emma. I can't allow you to single her out or be mean to her. I need you both to let her play and play nice. If you don't play nice I will give you each separate activities". and leave it at that. Follow through. If you separate them and they continue to be mean to her (say mean things even when they are separated) add to the consequence.

"Suzie. I can't allow you to hurt someone's feelings. If you can't keep your unkind words to yourself I will give you quiet activities to do by yourself."

Have you noticed if there is one that starts it more than the other? IF there is I would work more with that child (the other child will still need consequences). Chances are if you get the most aggressive one to stop the other will follow.

If nothing changes soon I would get the parents involved and let them know what is going on. Remember to only say that their child is bullying another child in the daycare. I wouldn't give out names. It will probably be apparent who you are talking about but you shouldn't be the one to tell them who it is.

[WImom]

How sad for the new girl.

I would seperate them too. Can you try and do small group stuff with the new girl and then one of the other girls? (get them used to playing with the new girl)

I have two girls here that get way too hyper when together so I have to remind them to calm down or they will be seperated (they are fine when not together).

[Bookworm]

When your new dcg started, did one of your original girls stop playing with the other to play with the new girl? I've seen situations like this in my class and it almost always causes some jealousy. If this is the situation, could original girl #1 have said to original girl #2, " if you play with Susie then I'm not going to be your friend"? And original girl #2 not wanting to lose her friend said ok and then started ganging up on Susie under the encouragement of original girl#1.