How Would You Have Handled This?

[WImom]

I have an almost 5y old (In april) DCG that can take up 20 minutes to get her stuff on to go outside/go home. It's always been this way (a few times when highly motivated she can get ready in 5 minutes or less - when she wants to so I know she can do it, she just chooses to screw around).

So for atleast 3 weeks now after afternoon snack she has to start getting ready (I get her and her brother ready otherwise mom is here blocking the way for 20 minutes at pick up). I was doing 10 minutes before pick up but that wasn't enough time so now it's 15-20 minutes before pickup. They still almost take the entire time. Everyday she wants to know why she can't play after snack and I tell her once she starts getting ready quicker she can. Doesn't matter I guess since we are going on 3 weeks.

So today when we were getting ready to go outside (She's always the last and we always have to wait - sometimes we wait for both her and her brother (3y) but mostly her) everyone was almost ready and it had been 10 minutes. she hasn't even started so I told her once everyone was done if she wasn't she'd be coming out and not playing, she can sit with me. Another 5 minutes past and she still was just sitting there playing with her socks she took off. So I got her jacket on and boots, etc and made her sit. She of course sat there crying that she wanted to go home. (We were only out for 10 minutes today because we ran out of time)

Did I not handle that right? It is just getting on my last nerve. What are they going to do in K5, make the whole class wait?

[AnneCordelia]

I think that you did the right thing. You did what I would have done. I think your expectations are reasonable.

[melskids]

Is she truly struggling with a fine motor issue, or is she just plain old dawdling?

I have a dawdler too...I make her start WAY sooner, even if she misses out on an activity, or finish outside (when the weather permits).

[CheekyChick]

I would probably let her play because I'm a softie, but you did the right thing.

[emosks]

To me...with ample amount of warning...I'd make her sit too.

[WImom]

No, she has no fine motor problems. She can get ready fast when she wants to. She's this way for going to the bathroom too (actually getting to the bathroom can take 5 minutes if I let her - she misses lots of storytimes due to pookiness - doesn't care though). I think her parents just always let her be pooky and now are regretting it.

[Lilbutterflie]

My DD is like this. She is slooooooow doing absolutely everything. But fast when she wants to be. It's not a motor issue, it's more of her personality. She likes to go slow.

I always give her more time b/c she just likes to do things slowly. Even if that means she misses out on an activity. If it was a similar situation to yours and you were going outside, I would make her finish up outside, too. But I don't think you were in the wrong, as long as you gave her ample time and warnings prior to making her sit out.

[TBird]

Are you sure sitting with you isn't a GIFT??? These kids like us ya know!!! ::

[AmyLeigh]

My dd is a slowpoke as well. Since she is old enough to tell time, I tell her she has until X:00 to be ready for XYZ. After that, we all move on, even if she has to put her shoes on in the car, not play with the other kids outside, whatever.
Can you use your handy dandy time out timer for this girl? Set it for 5-10 minutes and tell her she needs to be ready by the time the timer goes off or else she misses out on the fun?

[countrymom]

easy fix (I have a kid like this)

*first I will guarentee that they do everything for this child, they probably dress her too

*in school, you have a time limit, you go outside half dressed, teachers don't care they want the kids to do it themselves

*everyone gets dressed at the same time, you aint dressed I pick your stuff up and you can dress yourself outside, it works pretty good esp. when its cold outside.

*she's doing this because she wants you too do it for her thats why she's doing it. The mom of the boy I have said that its easier if she does it rather than him, too bad its effecting him in school.

[WImom]

Countrymom - Yes, I think it is this. When the kids first came here they did NOTHING for themselves. I've changed that in the last year. BUT I also think this pookiness gets them attention at home.

I have done the get ready outside thing except in winter because they'd get socks, pants wet. But I have done it other seasons. I've also moved their stuff right to my door and I stand inside with the door cracked so I can see and hear the other kids as they are getting dressed. Works for all my other kids but not her. She just doesn't seem to care.

Glad to here it's what most of you would do too. I don't feel so bad now.

[familyschoolcare]

Would it help to "help" her. Hand her each shoe, hand her the jacket ect..

Not being at your house it is hard to know if thise would help are make it harder because everyone would whant "help"

[daycare]

I am super emabarassed to admit this...

My son who is now 16 was like this and it was all my fault. I used to be on the go non stop before doing child care when he was little. I always got him up dressed him and did everything for him so that I could get out the door in the fastest time possible.

Then, when he was around 8, I started doing childcare. It was then that I noticed that he STILL could not dress himself. He could not put on his shoes, tie them, wash his teeth, and etc. I was so mad at myself for doing everything for him for so long.

NOW I make sure that this is the first thing that I teach the kids. Self help skills. I teach them how to do it and once they show me only one time that they can, they then will do it on their own from then on out.

I have a few kids who do this and last week we were going to the park. The DCB sat there lagging saying I can't put my shoes on you do it... NOPE your 3.5 you do it. Well guess what. I gave my final notice to put your shoes on OR you will stay here with my husband and miss out on the park.

Yup, he stayed with my husband while the rest of us moved on. I don't wait. We move on without you and I don't blink and eye.

This week so far, he has done everything in lighting speed in fear of missing out.

[Blackcat31]

You dress yourself=you get to play
I dress you=you sit by me

EXACTLY how I would have done it too!

[mickey2]

If after 3 weeks she is still dawdling perhaps have her get ready while the others are eating their snack. Give her snack to her AFTER she is dressed and while the others are getting ready.