Movie Mahem

[Unregistered]

I am a registered poster, but logged out for privacy.

This to me is a very awkward post and I am embarassed it happened in my daycare.

Although, not my fault I still feel guilty.

A parent brought in a DVD for us to watch that she said her kids love and once a month we have 'Movie Mondays'
Anyway, my assistant put the DVD in set it up and pressed play!
What was on the DVD was not what was on the case, it must have been switched. The DVD itself had no markings looked maybe like a copy - it was supossed to be Disney's Princess and the Frog, but it was a p o r n o graphic film.
The little ones that were watching are about 2 so they thank goodness don't know exactly what was going on, but it was inappropriate to say the least.

I now know to not accept movies from home and only movies that I have are to be watched, but what do I say to the parents?
Do I act like I never got around to playing the movie, tell them there has been a switch,
And what do I tell the other parents? I usually say honesty is the best policy but I am simply mortified.

Advice please.

[Michael]

I think you are going to have a wide range of opinions on this. How long did the DVD play? If you caught it immediately then I would let it go but if it played for several seconds before you caught it I would let the parents know. I honestly would get a legal opinion on this. I tend to overly worry about liability but god forbid one of the parents say that their child is somehow harmed by it. I would like to see what the other providers suggest and why.

[Mary Poppins]

I am a registered poster, but logged out for privacy.

This to me is a very awkward post and I am embarassed it happened in my daycare.

Although, not my fault I still feel guilty.

A parent brought in a DVD for us to watch that she said her kids love and once a month we have 'Movie Mondays'
Anyway, my assistant put the DVD in set it up and pressed play!
What was on the DVD was not what was on the case, it must have been switched. The DVD itself had no markings looked maybe like a copy - it was supossed to be Disney's Princess and the Frog, but it was a p o r n o graphic film.
The little ones that were watching are about 2 so they thank goodness don't know exactly what was going on, but it was inappropriate to say the least.

I now know to not accept movies from home and only movies that I have are to be watched, but what do I say to the parents?
Do I act like I never got around to playing the movie, tell them there has been a switch,
And what do I tell the other parents? I usually say honesty is the best policy but I am simply mortified.

Advice please.

Ugh!!!

Personally, if it were me, since they are all so young I would just give the movie back, pretend you didn't play it and let it go. I would not say a word to other parents and just act as though nothing happened.

If the children were older I would definitely do things differently and would probably call a meeting with all the parents or something. I honestly don't know but I do know not to allow outside movies into my dc from now on!!

My gosh. How awkward for you!!

[Meyou]

I would tell every family exactly what happened. I would want to know as a parent.

[Countrygal]

I think I'd treat the dcfamilies as I would like to be treated. If it were your child, would you want to know?

As to the family who brought it - I would DEFINITELY say something. These things need to be brought out in the open. It might have belonged to a teen child who is having some trouble. As a parent, I'd definitely want to know what was in the movie, or at least that it had been switched and was an over 21 movie. Nothing good ever comes of hiding this stuff, IMO.

[SilverSabre25]

I would say to all the other parents: "Hey...I just have something, er, wow, really embarrassing to tell you. The movie we tried to watch today was supposed to be Princess and the Frog, but the disc that was in the case was...not exactly the G-rated version...if ya know what I mean...I'm so sorry; the kids didn't see much, I stopped it right away and put in something else instead. I've learned my lesson--no more home-dubbed movies can come in. Only original discs. Let me know if you want to talk any further about it."

To the family that brought the movie..."Here's your movie back. You might want to label your po rn a little better next time." <--- grin included. They're going to be as embarrassed as you are about it. "Seriously though, I put it in and the kids saw a little bit. I had to explain to the other parents what happened. From now on, I can only accept movies that are original discs--and that's a policy that will cover everyone. I'm sure you understand."

[Countrygal]

silver -

[Cat Herder]

I'd go with the absolute truth.

It is the only way I know to keep the parents respect.

Also, Less chance of bigger problems if the child describes/acts out something they saw one day... They may or may not remember/explain it being on film....

That being said, I'd try REALLY hard to not disclose the source of the video. Some people can be really embarrased by that type of thing....

[Meyou]

I really like what Silver posted.

[MrsB]

Wow

I am so sorry you have to deal with this! I say be up front with all the parents. Your parents will be able to tell you are hiding something otherwise. Plus if you dont say anything you can be sure one of the kids will!

I guess you can add sex therapist to the list of a daycare providers many tasks.

[nannyde]

Well that's strange.

It's weird that your assistant didn't have to go through the screens to hit the play button. I have a ton of DVD's and the ones within the last five years or so have required to go through a couple of screens before you hit CAN hit play.

I don't have any movies where you just pop it in and hit play. If you guys have movie monday and you are used to operating DVD's then what happened that she didn't notice she didn't have to go thru the screens?

I would be prepared to answer that once you tell the parents and they have time to think about how it could have happened.

[Unregistered]

Thanks everyone, I asked my assistant what exactly the kids saw, it was the start up screen menu with the scene selections ect. There was a pretty illicit background - but no movie was played, just images.

I spoke to the Mum whom brought the DVD and explained everything. She was as mortified as I was. She was in tears by the time she left. I was empathetic when discussing this matter and ensured her that her privacy would be maintained while I discuss this with the other parents. I did however, draft a letter stating what had happened in detail and that this particular movie was from her home and she unintentionally brought it to daycare and had her sign and date it with my assistant and I was witnesses -- just incase.
I explained it would go into her locked file that only I have access to as I have to document everything.

I sent out an email to all the parents stating an incident had happened at the daycare and please plan to leave extra time at pick up as I would like to discuss it in person.

Thanks again for all your input

[PitterPatter]

Wow I'm sorry this is very embarrassing indeed!

Honesty is always the best policy though. I just think I want to know what my own child is exposed to especially things like that so I would let the parents know.

How bad was it? Was it simple nudity before you caught it or ******** detailed? Parent's may not be as upset if it were simple nudity. I could just see a daycare kid walking in on parents and say "that's what I saw at daycare"

I feel soo bad for you I hope it all works out well but I think honesty is best. I would also make sure the parent that gave it to you knows what happened. Let her share some of that embarrassment. I know it was an accident but good Lord she should keep certain things put away.

Good luck to you!

[Childminder]

My daughter has copied movies for me and I just pop them in and hit play, because they are copies, I think, you don't have the set up or "pre" screens.

What happened was unfortunate and accidental on your part. I would be up front and tell my parents that there was an issue with a movie that the children viewed mere seconds of that was totally inappropriate in its content for children. Make them aware of how shocked you are and that they will not have to worry because it won't happen again. Tell them that all movies will from now on be prescreened and approved by you. Also you will not disobey copyright laws and play any copies. (federal offense)

Children of that age are not "sexual beings" and don't realize that what they saw was any thing more than a bunch of body parts.

[icaredaycare]

in a male perspective, I would have been very very cautious in this matter. I know to some people the truth is the right way to go, but from my end, this would have made me an easy target for me to get sued and have department of human services knocking on my door. I'm so paranoid to the fact that I would have thought the DVD was a "set up" to get me.

learning from your experience...i'm going to have to deny home movies as well. Thank you for sharing your story. as a man in this field, these incidents are scary, not just embarrassing.