DC Boy Needs PS But There’s A Catch!

[renodeb]

Ok I could really use your input.
About 5 months ago I enrolled a set of siblings, they are ft so I was thrilled. The boy will be 3 at the end of April and the baby is 7 m/o. Well he has been becoming more and more of a handful lately. He is potty training now and doing really well at it. Usually when a child starts potty training the parents start thinking preschool. This parent has not mentioned it yet. I'm starting to feel that he has outgrown me. Im afraid that if I say anything to her she may have thoughts of taking the baby out to. (that being the catch) If she takes them both out that would be a huge loss of income. Lots of factors play into that. Like having to raise the others fees to try and stay afloat.
Should I just keep my mouth closed and wait to see if she mentions it? Hes a very smart kid, just might do better with more structure.
Thoughts? Advice? I know it seems like Im rambling.
Thanks, Debbie

[daycare]

Ok I could really use your input.
About 5 months ago I enrolled a set of siblings, they are ft so I was thrilled. The boy will be 3 at the end of April and the baby is 7 m/o. Well he has been becoming more and more of a handful lately. He is potty training now and doing really well at it. Usually when a child starts potty training the parents start thinking preschool. This parent has not mentioned it yet. I'm starting to feel that he has outgrown me. Im afraid that if I say anything to her she may have thoughts of taking the baby out to. (that being the catch) If she takes them both out that would be a huge loss of income. Lots of factors play into that. Like having to raise the others fees to try and stay afloat.
Should I just keep my mouth closed and wait to see if she mentions it? Hes a very smart kid, just might do better with more structure.
Thoughts? Advice? I know it seems like Im rambling.
Thanks, Debbie

I am in it for the best interest of the child. Not only the money. If I feel a child could benefit better somewhere else, I won't hold them back in my care.

I have done it before and will always be in this for the best interest of the child...

My advice would be that if you feel they could excel in another program, let them go...

[wdmmom]

If it's a matter of money, don't say a word.

I've learned that when it comes to money, decisions, or if a parent would consider leaving, it's best not to say anything.

Let the parent bring it up to you.

[Blackcat31]

IMPO, no child NEEDS preschool...not at 3. I am sorry if others do not agree but there is yet to be any evidence that preschool helps a child achieve greater results than the next kid unless they were already behind in the first place.

If he is smart and ready for more structure then he will be a great Kindergartener when he gets there. For now, though I think he sholud be a kid.

He may need to have more indepth things to occupy him such as books or toys that challenge him more but I wouldn't chalk his behavior (being more of a handful) to needing preschool. He is probably reacting to the new baby more than anything.

[sharlan]

I agree with Blackcat. The only reason a 3 yo needs preschool is for socialization. If they already have other children to interact with, that's all they need.

[SandeeAR]

IMPO, no child NEEDS preschool...not at 3. I am sorry if others do not agree but there is yet to be any evidence that preschool helps a child achieve greater results than the next kid unless they were already behind in the first place.

If he is smart and ready for more structure then he will be a great Kindergartener when he gets there. For now, though I think he sholud be a kid.

He may need to have more indepth things to occupy him such as books or toys that challenge him more but I wouldn't chalk his behavior (being more of a handful) to needing preschool. He is probably reacting to the new baby more than anything.

Blackcat, I've always valued your opinion on these boards. I'm sure you have posted this before, But I'll admit, I just don't remember. Do you work with teaching your kids colors, shapes, numbers, letters. worksheets and cutting etc, to have them ready for preschool?

I don't feel qualified to have them kindergarten ready. I tell my parents by 4, they should move to a preschool. They are qualified to get them ready for kindergarten. We basically play here. I will do shapes and colors, with they toys (shape sorters, blocks, etc). I don't teach them to write their names (I don't want to teach them the wrong way to make letters).

[renodeb]

Maybe saying "more of a handful" is not getting the message across. He's behaviour is starting to esculate therefore making it harder to take care of the group as a whole. I to am not always an advocate of the fancy brick building but in some cases I think its worth looking into. Its not just the money thing mind you.
I think the fact that he has no rules at home is effecting his behaviour here and maybe knowing that is clouding my judgement.
Debbie

[Hunni Bee]

Maybe saying "more of a handful" is not getting the message across. He's behaviour is starting to esculate therefore making it harder to take care of the group as a whole. I to am not always an advocate of the fancy brick building but in some cases I think its worth looking into. Its not just the money thing mind you.
I think the fact that he has no rules at home is effecting his behaviour here and maybe knowing that is clouding my judgement.
Debbie

Well, maybe it isn't so much that he needs to go to preschool, but that his behaviors need to be addressed. If he has no boundaries at home, he will probably have issues in any setting where rules are in place, be it your home, preschool, a center or regular school.

On the other hand, I have had some kids who had behaviors issues with me, but have less in pre-k...the "seriousness" of a school building, a principal, etc. and probably the fact that bad report from school is more a "fire starter" under the parent's butt than one from daycare.

[Heidi]

Maybe saying "more of a handful" is not getting the message across. He's behaviour is starting to esculate therefore making it harder to take care of the group as a whole. I to am not always an advocate of the fancy brick building but in some cases I think its worth looking into. Its not just the money thing mind you.
I think the fact that he has no rules at home is effecting his behaviour here and maybe knowing that is clouding my judgement.
Debbie

Debbie-

Can you describe some of the behaviors you're dealing with?

Can you tell us a little more about the rest of your group, and the structure of your day?

Maybe we can come up with some ideas to help you keep both little man and his baby brother...

[Country Kids]

Well, maybe it isn't so much that he needs to go to preschool, but that his behaviors need to be addressed. If he has no boundaries at home, he will probably have issues in any setting where rules are in place, be it your home, preschool, a center or regular school.

On the other hand, I have had some kids who had behaviors issues with me, but have less in pre-k...the "seriousness" of a school building, a principal, etc. and probably the fact that bad report from school is more a "fire starter" under the parent's butt than one from daycare.

I totally get what you are saying about the "seriousness" of school. One of mine will totally settle down when you mention what going to "big" school will be like.

[renodeb]

Bbo,
He climbs on stuff, he climbed up ontop of my play kitchen and actually toppled it one day. Amazingingly knowone got hurt. He almost climbed over the gate blocking the front door. He picks up random toys and just whales them across the room. Again knowone has gotten hurt yet. He runs away from me when he knows he is in trouble which really makes me mad. He has shoved the 3 1/2 y/o dc boy. He teases my dog.I know he doesnt have enough to do here and hes bored.
I have 3 young ones to care for besides him so my day is really alot of maintaining everyone, meeting daily, basic needs, and if we are lucky a few activities. Playdoh, color wonder, crayons. I know it sounds pretty boring but its very crazy around here. I reallly would hate to loose this family they are good clients.
Just a little background on him: He slaps his mom on the face, runs away from her, one day he ran out my front door with a basketball in his hand and she had to chase him. She has to bribe him to leave here. He has a tv/dvd player in his room so his parents dont have to deal with him. He knows how to turn it on and everything. Mom told me today he was up all night with it on. I think since his new baby sister was born he has been getting away with murder. It makes it very hard to set boundaries here b/c of that. Sorry I didnt mean for this to turn into a vent. To say the least he is a veyr high strung boy.
He is a smart kid but devious to.
Debbie

[Countrygal]

There are many others here probably more qualified to answer, esp. in a daycare setting, but I had a thought that might help. My gs is similar to this boy. Very intelligent and very easily bored. When he is bored, he gets to misbehaving.

Could you somehow involve the boy in "helping" take care of the young ones? You know, carrying things for you, fetching diapers, even helping wash dishes or helping check the temp of food or even helping feeding? Give him a little more feeling of authority? For example, having him set the example of good behavior at the table and helping the young children to sit still, wipe their faces with their napkins, etc, etc....

Just a thought. It would take planning, but I'm sure there are a myriad of "little" things he could do to "help" that would make him feel important and help him to not be so bored all day!

[Cat Herder]

I currently have 3 of these "wild boys", climbing everything, toys interest them about 1.5 minutes, they enjoy taking them apart more than playing with them, they run head on into any activity, fearless....

The other two are calmer, more artistic, can play with a toy for 10-15 minutes at a time, follow directions easily, BUT have to be led/encouraged to start any activity...

All are 2-3 years old. I admit, this is the most fun age, to me. It is ALOT of work, but they are hysterical.

I end up dividing them into smaller groups more often during activity & free play times (15 minutes at a time, a few times a day). I don't actually assign them the areas, they are more inclined to simply "sort" themselves based on what is out in each area... I use their patterns to my advantage for a more peaceful environment.

I set up the areas, finish group story-time them tell them to "go play"... They head off enthusiastically until the next group time activity.

The "more active" guys have more time with the tumble mats, climbers, tunnels, running outside and dancing. Gross Motor is where they thrive. The more they get, the better the behavior for group care settings.

The "more imaginative" guys have more time with books, blocks, felt stories, dry erase boards, science centers, etc. Creative Thinking is where they thrive.

I do have some led activities to ensure they get a bit of each curriculum goal, but feel their natural inclination is as important to their development.

I generally adapt to who I have each day .... I do want to mention I have a few toys upstairs in storage that I would not dare to introduce to this group because I cannot afford to replace them.

The last group was majority "creative" kids so they worked very well with that group... There is an aspect of setting yourself up for success as well as expecting what is coming. ::

[renodeb]

Cath, I tend to to that to, I mean the adapting to who I have each day. The main draw back with my group is that I have one ft family and the others are all pt almost never on the same days. Ofcourse the boy Im posting about is the ft one. I appreciate the support and advice and I will start to think of ways to include him. I have toys like that, I tend to hoard dependng on what kind of group I have.
Debbie

[Blackcat31]

Ladies, I felt we were taking over Renodeb's thread so I created a new one titled Getting ready for Kindergarten. https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41955

I moved the posts there so she could stay on topic with her original post.