3 1/2 Yr Old Throwing Dishes In The Trash

[mac60]

I have a 3 1/2 yr old, very defiant, doesn't listen. Time outs do nothing.

Thursday, he threw his sandwich in the trash at lunch. I found out when his mom picked up and he told her. I heard him say it to her, and I said you "What??". "We don't throw food in the trash, ever." Mom said nothing.

Today, I made homemade beef n noodles over mashed potatoes and corn. He ate the corn. I told him a couple times to quite messing around and eat. I stepped out of the kitchen into the dining room, heard the trash can close, he was now in the daycare room. I looked at the table, no plate, opened the trash lid and he had thrown the food/plate/silverware in the trash can and got up and went to play. OMG, I am peed off. You don't do that Ever. I had this conversation with him about throwing food in the trash on Friday morning after the incident on Thursday, explaining we don't do that ever. He is old enough to know better and to understand that we don't do that ever.

This behavior is not acceptable. I will be telling the mom, I am sure she won't have much to say.

[morgan24]

I would give him finger foods and a paper plate with very small portions and by small portions I mean teaspoon size. If he throws it away that's his problem if he's hungry. Snack would be something very healthy like raw veggies.

I have a 3 year old that will throw out his plate when he is done. At least his plate is empty. He has to dig it out of the trash at least twice a week.

[MissAnn]

I have a 3 1/2 yr old, very defiant, doesn't listen. Time outs do nothing.

Thursday, he threw his sandwich in the trash at lunch. I found out when his mom picked up and he told her. I heard him say it to her, and I said you "What??". "We don't throw food in the trash, ever." Mom said nothing.

Today, I made homemade beef n noodles over mashed potatoes and corn. He ate the corn. I told him a couple times to quite messing around and eat. I stepped out of the kitchen into the dining room, heard the trash can close, he was now in the daycare room. I looked at the table, no plate, opened the trash lid and he had thrown the food/plate/silverware in the trash can and got up and went to play. OMG, I am peed off. You don't do that Ever. I had this conversation with him about throwing food in the trash on Friday morning after the incident on Thursday, explaining we don't do that ever. He is old enough to know better and to understand that we don't do that ever.

This behavior is not acceptable. I will be telling the mom, I am sure she won't have much to say.

I bought a dishpan and when all the kids are done....I send the dishpan down the table. They put their dishes in. I can then throw away what I want in the garbage and then put what I want in the compost. My kids used to throw dishes and silverware away all the time! Even when I bought nice sectioned trays...they threw them away! This solved it all for me.

[frugalmama4]

I have a 3 1/2 yr old, very defiant, doesn't listen. Time outs do nothing.

Thursday, he threw his sandwich in the trash at lunch. I found out when his mom picked up and he told her. I heard him say it to her, and I said you "What??". "We don't throw food in the trash, ever." Mom said nothing.

Today, I made homemade beef n noodles over mashed potatoes and corn. He ate the corn. I told him a couple times to quite messing around and eat. I stepped out of the kitchen into the dining room, heard the trash can close, he was now in the daycare room. I looked at the table, no plate, opened the trash lid and he had thrown the food/plate/silverware in the trash can and got up and went to play. OMG, I am peed off. You don't do that Ever. I had this conversation with him about throwing food in the trash on Friday morning after the incident on Thursday, explaining we don't do that ever. He is old enough to know better and to understand that we don't do that ever.

This behavior is not acceptable. I will be telling the mom, I am sure she won't have much to say.

Good Morning Mac60,

I've been having a similar problem too with my 3yr old and 18mo old dck's.
But first my solution for you
1). Maybe get a trash can with a latch(seen at target/wal-mart)

2). Hide the trash can from him... you will catch him in the act.

3). Maybe give him smaller portions (very small, I to hate waste)

4). Lastly tell mom she will have to start bring his meals...she'll have something to say then.

Hope it gets better soon!

Their siblings and when the older one is done eating the youngest wants to throw out her food too even though she not done! The other issue I have is with the 3yr old and my own 5yr old playing and talking way to much at the table "I mean I love that they talk among themselves" but not to the point it holds up our daily routine. I've been thinking about timing snack and lunch time w/a kitchen timer. I'm on the food program which state's I have to allow 2 hours for feedings "that's crazy...way to long". So I plan to use the timer the same way the schools here do (when the kids get to loud, they flicker the lights on/off) when it's time to wrap it up they lower the lights and blow the whistle...I never seen kids eat so fast :: What do you think?

[mac60]

This kid is not doing this to be helpful, he is doing it because he doesn't want to eat what is served. This is the second time in 3 days. It is not ok. The kids have never cleaned up their dishes, when they are done they are allowed to get up and I do all the cleaning up.

[wdmmom]

This kid is not doing this to be helpful, he is doing it because he doesn't want to eat what is served. This is the second time in 3 days. It is not ok. The kids have never cleaned up their dishes, when they are done they are allowed to get up and I do all the cleaning up.

How is he getting away from the table without you noticing??

I'd consider moving the trash can, gating off the kitchen if you are in another room, or just sticking the trash can outside or in the garage during mealtimes. I know it's a hassle but it sure beats digging in the trash or replacing dinnerware.

[mac60]

This kid just started doing this last week. He is 3 1/2. He knows it is wrong. He has been talked to and it has been discussed. I will not move my trash can. I heard the lid come down. Once the kids are done eating they go from table back to daycare room which is open to the kitchen. I am not the one that will be doing anything different.

When they are done eating, they are allowed to get up, because some of them take what seems like forever to eat, while others eat and are done.

[wdmmom]

If you aren't willing to do anything different, don't expect much for results.

You can talk to this kid until your blue in the face. He knows he's not going to get in trouble and doesn't care what the consequence is. Talking is just words.

The paper plate idea with little bits of food is a great idea but it is going to take some effort on your part to stop this from happening...whether that be direct supervision of him over mealtime, moving the trashcan, paper plates, etc.

You taking control and changing things up might just be the key to him changing his ways.

[Meeko]

We eat family style with our day care kids. We all sit down and eat together. (Sometimes, my son and I will just sit with them and we order something yummy and bad for us after they are asleep!) But we never leave the table while they eat. I think it's important to have conversation at the meal table. I know too many of them eat in front of the tv or alone when they are at home.

If someone is done, they just sit and have conversation with us until everyone else is done. Then, they are all excused together and throw away their plates, spoons etc. (I use disposable everything and claim it on my taxes.) Clean up takes seconds. The only dishes I wash are the serving dishes if I use them. I often use disposable foil containers.

I do not bother about how much each child eats. That is completely up to them. All I am required to do is OFFER the food. I am paid for it whether they eat it or not.

Gone are the days of plates and spoons in the trash, worries about how much they have eaten etc. Mealtimes are smooth and easy for the most part. New kids have to learn the rules and we have a few tantrums about wanting to leave the table after 30 seconds etc. but they soon learn.

[morgan24]

If you aren't willing to do anything different, don't expect much for results.

You can talk to this kid until your blue in the face. He knows he's not going to get in trouble and doesn't care what the consequence is. Talking is just words.

The paper plate idea with little bits of food is a great idea but it is going to take some effort on your part to stop this from happening...whether that be direct supervision of him over mealtime, moving the trashcan, paper plates, etc.

You taking control and changing things up might just be the key to him changing his ways.

I agree with wdmmom that unless your willing to change something nothing will change. I don't think they hear much past the first few words. If he's just being defiant he would lose the privilege of leaving the table when he's done. I would make him sit there until I told him he could leave. I don't use time out much but I do use losing your privileges if you can not go by the rules. Usually just a couple of times of losing their privileges they quit whatever it was they were doing.

[Heidi]

We eat family style with our day care kids. We all sit down and eat together. (Sometimes, my son and I will just sit with them and we order something yummy and bad for us after they are asleep!) But we never leave the table while they eat. I think it's important to have conversation at the meal table. I know too many of them eat in front of the tv or alone when they are at home.

If someone is done, they just sit and have conversation with us until everyone else is done. Then, they are all excused together and throw away their plates, spoons etc. (I use disposable everything and claim it on my taxes.) Clean up takes seconds. The only dishes I wash are the serving dishes if I use them. I often use disposable foil containers.

I do not bother about how much each child eats. That is completely up to them. All I am required to do is OFFER the food. I am paid for it whether they eat it or not.

Gone are the days of plates and spoons in the trash, worries about how much they have eaten etc. Mealtimes are smooth and easy for the most part. New kids have to learn the rules and we have a few tantrums about wanting to leave the table after 30 seconds etc. but they soon learn.

Same here, although we use "real" plates. I am in the process of moving them from plastic "toddler" plates to the stoneware ones, and open cups. Dollar General had these adorable little espresso cups, so I bought 12 of them.

[mac60]

I am surprised how so many think this calls for me to change the way I do things. The child is in the wrong, not me. He only started this because he doesn't want to eat what is served, and only does it when I take a step out of the room, and each room is open to the next so it isn't even like I actually step away. The consequence will be on him, not more work for me, even if it means him eating alone with the timer on for 10 min and me staring at him. It is never ever ok to throw your plate, silverware and food you don't like in the trash. Never happened before. He fully knows what he is doing. I believe in consequences for bad behavior, not changing the way things have been done for 12 years because a unruly 3 1/2 year old decides to misbehave. JMO

[familyschoolcare]

I am surprised how so many think this calls for me to change the way I do things. The child is in the wrong, not me. He only started this because he doesn't want to eat what is served, and only does it when I take a step out of the room, and each room is open to the next so it isn't even like I actually step away. The consequence will be on him, not more work for me, even if it means him eating alone with the timer on for 10 min and me staring at him. It is never ever ok to throw your plate, silverware and food you don't like in the trash. Never happened before. He fully knows what he is doing. I believe in consequences for bad behavior, not changing the way things have been done for 12 years because a unruly 3 1/2 year old decides to misbehave. JMO

Not sure I am understanding the throwing aaway of food part.

So in your program children are required to eat everything on thier plate.

If so how is it decied how much is put on thier plate?

I totaly agree that the plate and silverwear should not be thrown away, and that the child is doing that because they do not whant to eat.

[mac60]

This kid has become very picky and has started to push his food away and say he doesn't like it, things he has eaten for over 3 years. When you allow one to behave this way it becomes a trickled down effect with the others then doing it. I decide how much food is put on their plate. I do start with very small portions. Today it was beef n noodles over mashed potatoes and corn, then they could have peaches. He ate the corn and threw the rest away. Yes, they are required to eat their lunch, I don't believe in wasting, but at the same time I only put a very small amount on their plate then they can have more.....they can have all they want (with in reason), I don't allow wasting it. Plus, if we have special treats, like today someone brought in cupcakes, if you don't eat your lunch no special treat. Bottom line, throwing your food, plate, and silverware in the trash is never ok.

[daycare]

maybe I missed this part.

Are they allowed to get up from the table when you tell them they are done, or when they think they are done?

All of my kids are required to ask if they may be excused and are NOT allowed to get from the table until they say the words" May I please be excused" I will then inspect their meals and cups and make a decision. The one's that can't talk yet, use sign language to show me that they are all done. If you get up from the table, you are done.

NO one plays toys until everyone is done....

Sorry if I repeat anything already said