OMG... This Is Freaky!

[Blackcat31]

I do agree that this situation would not have gotten to the point it did (with her knocking on your door) had you just leveled with her in the first place.

I understand that you have a lot on your plate but all too often on this forum we vent about parents and don't let them use the excuse that they too may have a lot on their plates as well. So IMOP, it goes both ways.

You should have simply been honest with her and addressed the fact that you were not interested in taking her family in the first place.

However, what is done it is done and she is no longer standing on your front step.

[countrymom]

I don't know, but I'm like the op. I don't answer the door or phone. Acually what she is doing is stalking you. She should have gotten the hint when you didn't call her back, but to show up at someones house is really wrong. I wouldn't have opened the door either.

[wdmmom]

I wouldn't open the door and I certainly wouldn't go outside! Not only would that put me at a potential risk to deal with a psycho but I wouldn't be doing my job if the kids were in the house and I were outside.

This could have been a lot worse than it was but I think you handled it appropriately. Next time, call prospective clients back within 48 hours of them contacting you and either schedule and interview or turn them away.

[My3cents]

Daycare has a learning curve for even the seasoned providers-

If something like this should happen again, just be honest and say I don't think we are a good match, so I am not going to take you on as a client, but let me give you some numbers of someone that can be of a help to you in your search for daycare. If she ask you why, you don't have to tell her why, just give her some numbers to your licensing rep who can further direct her, and tell her good luck with her search. Brief, to the point and simple.

It's hard to let someone down, no matter if you like them or not- rejection is rejection.

You did the right thing not letting them in your home- but calling someone back in a reasonable time is part of business. It doesn't take long to return a call. It's uncomfortable- put us out of our comfort zone. Still has to be done if you want to be considered a professional.

If you leveled with her right away........no she wouldn't have come to your care, but she probably wouldn't have bad mouthed you, and might have referred others to you in general conversation......hey Nancy, I went to this really nice daycare and she was not able to take in my kiddo's at the time but she might have openings now, here is her number.

I would not have set her up as NannyDe mentioned- but I think its a riot and great thought. Sometimes, no many a time no amount of money is worth watching a wild child. Could have back fired on you, as it seems this women was a nut job.

Thank you for bringing this to the table, because if something similar should happen, I feel all the feedback has helped me to better handle myself.

One more thing to consider- some of my worst parents/kids have turned around to be the ones that I have missed the most and the greatest. You have to give people a chance to get your rules, your ways, your home, adjustment. A two week trial for both the parent and the provider is the best way to go, and clear consistent rules-policy's.

My kids always act up when parents come in, its like a show to see who is in charge.

Best-

[saved4always]

Yes, I have read your post twice but all you need to tell her that you are not able to help her out and tell her the truth why you feel that you are not working with her again. I am pretty sure she will understand then she can move on to find somewhere else.

Yes, you should answer the door to go out side and closed to protect the kids and you are sorry that you haven't called her back because you forgot about it. She asked anything and tell her that you are not willing to work with her or whatever your reason, then she will leave you alone. Sometime you will need to stand up to tell her. However, I do not let anyone come in my house but I answer the door and go outside and closed the door to see what they want. I had a few parents yelled at me outside of my door and I really dont care about it and I just simple tell them I am sorry if you feel that way and go back in the house and lock it.

She may be stranger but you met her once about 6 years ago. I am sure that she is trying to find out why you haven't returned her call and she may feel something wrong that you are trying to avoid her or something like that. If I were in your shoes, I would call her back in the first place and tell her how you feel. She will move on and find somewhere else but you choose not to call her back and deleted her messages. She can get your address from your licencing or your licencing website that parents can get the address and phone numbers on the list from website.

I would never answer my door and step outside to talk to someone with daycare children in my house. Thier parents would be very unhappy if they drove up to my house and saw me outside talking to someone with thier kids inside alone. Maybe my kids are younger than yours are, but it would not be safe for me to do that.

[Blackcat31]

I would never answer my door and step outside to talk to someone with daycare children in my house. Thier parents would be very unhappy if they drove up to my house and saw me outside talking to someone with thier kids inside alone. Maybe my kids are younger than yours are, but it would not be safe for me to do that.

I go outside with my older children and leave the little ones inside sleeping alone all the time. I use a baby monitor.

[safechner]

I would never answer my door and step outside to talk to someone with daycare children in my house. Thier parents would be very unhappy if they drove up to my house and saw me outside talking to someone with thier kids inside alone. Maybe my kids are younger than yours are, but it would not be safe for me to do that.

But she said she had two kids with her at that time, I only watch two kids in my home and both of them always just right by my door and I can hear from them. It only took 5-10 seconds that when I wasn't interested in or whatever. Most of time I wouldn't open the door because there are some people are trying to sell steak or candy for funds or whatever.

Let me guess you wouldn't open the door if your inspection or licensing show up by your house and if you think they are stranger. Would you??

[daycare]

yesterday I was the only one who said anything about I felt she should have answered the womens call from the start and it would have never gotten to this point... That part I disagree with.


BUT I do feel on the OP part that she did the right thing buy not opening the door. Even if it is someone she met before on terms like this. My husband works 48hour shifts and I never open the door, even if it is someone I have seen before, Especially if it is during DC hours and children are present.

I guess the OP can take this as a learning example to just tell someone NO from the start. Then if you already did this and she keeps bugging you, you can then get the law involved.

[MamaBear]

Everyone has their own way of doing things. Yeah I should have called her a long time ago - I agree with that and already said that over & over. If I could go back I would call her months ago and tell her no. But I didn't. Still doesn't give her the right to stalk my daycare. Thats not normal to just show up at someone's home and try to get a space. Thats all I have to say about that.

I would NEVER open the door for a stranger. I met with her 6 years ago, but that was when my husband was home with me on a weekend when no daycare children were in my home. She's still a stranger. I don't "KNOW" her.

I don't do daycare tours when the kids are here. I would NEVER go outside and leave my daycare kids inside. I had one napping (an infant) and one eating. What if the one eating was choking while I'm out there talking to some psycho lady? Or what if she pushed the door and made her way inside??? Or the parents pulled up while I'm outside. TOO many what ifs. SO I don't second question my decision to not open the door AT ALL. Period.

@ Safecher: If it was Licensing and they show me their badge, then of course I'd let them in. Thats just a silly thing to say that I wouldn't. In my area, the Licensing Rep will not leave until you open the door. So that would be idiotic. Plus I have nothing to hide from them and actually welcome them to come. I don't open for anyone unless a parent or Licensing. Period.

This topic is getting old now. Lets move on!

[saved4always]

The 3 kids I watch are 2 and under, so, no, I would not be comfortable leaving them alone in the house while I talked to someone outside the door. They can get into trouble in seconds at that age (and 2 of the 3 would, believe me ). They all sleep at the same time so there is no need for me to be outside while anyone is sleeping. And, where I live, I do not have to be liscensed for the small number of children I watch, so I am not. So, no, I would probably not answer the door if a stranger was there....there is no stranger who should have the expectation that my home would be open to them. I am not comfortable with answering the door to strangers while I am home alone with small children. If others are comfortable doing that, that is fine with me. Just don't expect me to feel the same way. Everyone has their own comfort zone when dealing with feeling secure in their homes and I am more of a scaredy-cat....

[MrsB]

In maryland it is against licenaing regs to step outside with daycare children inside. Even if its one foot. I agree u should have called her back but that is just soooo weird that she would call licensing to get your address and show up at the house. When u have had no contact.

[MamaBear]

Thanks Saved4Always & MrsB. I totally agree.

[Meeko]

So what entered my mind as I read all these posts?

Jealous thoughts of how other people can actually SEE through their door peepholes. I'd have to get a chair to see through mine ::::::

[daycare]

So what entered my mind as I read all these posts?

Jealous thoughts of how other people can actually SEE through their door peepholes. I'd have to get a chair to see through mine ::::::

omg how cute....sorry I am tall, I always wished I was short.....

[christinaskids]

I also think you did the right thing. Ive run into some weirdos in this business and never open my door for anyone i dont know, especially a situation like this. Its just plain weird to cone to someones house that you dont know because they havent returned a phone call. Yes she could of stopped if you called her right away or she could of gotten confrontational also. I think you did the right thing.