Letting Parents know about Behavior

[Country Kids]

I have great kids but only, only if they are in the right mix of other children. I can always tell the days that certain kids are here because the whole dynamics change. It isn't just one child, its several.

So here is my question. If children are having bad days constently, do you let parents know or not. Is it something you tell them day after day after day or do you just try and work with the children? I have been in this field a long time and this group is just hard!

I haven't said anything to the parents and want to talk to them but wonder if they will wonder why they haven't heard anything till know? Should I start sending home daily sheets so they know because I have one parent drops off/the other one picks up and I'm never sure if messages are relayed. Something needs to change before I physically break down from this group.

I would term but I don't think its realistic to term 6 children!!!! Has anyone ever had a group that each of the children has some type of behavioral issue and if so what did you do to stop it.

[CheekyChick]

I send home daily letters. It includes everything about their day - including their behavior, mood, time-outs, etc. There is NO way a parent can help you and work with their child if they don't know what's going on.

Good luck.

[daycare]

I dont hold back behavioral issues at all.

Now, if it is something that happens here that is not a big deal and I can control it, I leave it here. If it is something that I cant control and jeopardizes the health or safety of the other children or the child themselves, I talk to the parents right away. I will make a report to record the incident.

If I don't tell a parent on Monday what happened and then on wednesday something happens again, I will write in the report that this is the second time this situation has occurred, however, this is the first time that the parents are being notified. I also required the parents to sign a copy of the documentation if it is serious of a situation, so that there is proof that the parent was informed.

I tell the parents, from the start, I will rat your child out. If I am coming to you to tell you something, you know it is serious and that it needs your attention.

When I do talk with the parents, I will say today JOhnny was being very aggressive and so I had to _________________________. We are going to work on this by doing this and I wanted you to be informed of it. I don't make a huge deal out of it.

Again, If it continues and the parents don't help to take care of the matter, I would term.

[cheerfuldom]

If it is an ongoing issue AND there is something specific that the parent can do to address it, then yes, I do talk to parents. If it is just typical kid stuff like say, grabbing a toy from someone else, then no. I just deal with each small issue as it comes because is you are constantly mentioning every single thing that comes up, a lot of parents will see that as complaining.

[littlemissmuffet]

I most definitely discuss behavioral issues with parents. At nap I will send home an email (helps with record-keeping) about what's going on and let them know I was to discuss further when they pick-up - and I always do. If it's a behavior that is consistant, I will then set up a meeting to discuss a behavioral probation period... with no improvement of behavior child could be termed (depends on many factors).

It's important to work with the child AND let parents know what's going on in your home (even if they don't listen or care) - this way, if you do end up having to terminate it's not a suprise.

[momma2girls]

I definately keep all parents in the loop all the time. If their child behaves badly, had a fussy day, etc. etc..

[daycare]

I have great kids but only, only if they are in the right mix of other children. I can always tell the days that certain kids are here because the whole dynamics change. It isn't just one child, its several.

So here is my question. If children are having bad days constently, do you let parents know or not. Is it something you tell them day after day after day or do you just try and work with the children? I have been in this field a long time and this group is just hard!

I haven't said anything to the parents and want to talk to them but wonder if they will wonder why they haven't heard anything till know? Should I start sending home daily sheets so they know because I have one parent drops off/the other one picks up and I'm never sure if messages are relayed. Something needs to change before I physically break down from this group.

I would term but I don't think its realistic to term 6 children!!!! Has anyone ever had a group that each of the children has some type of behavioral issue and if so what did you do to stop it.

I think its all about how you deliver the news to the parent as well.

saying it in a nice tone of voice with pep behind it or concern along with being sincere.Something like: Unfortunately, JOhnny did not have a very good day today and was doing XYZ, but we are working on it and tomorrow is a new day so we can try again tomorrow. This is for the not so serious stuff, but parents should still know. At pick up, I will get down on my knees and talk to the child and say, Johnny, I know we didnt have a very good day today did we? Please remember what we talked about today and lets try to have a better day tomorrow. Then give them a huge hug. I am sincere and the parents know this. They don't see this as any form of complaint.

Now if I just went off and said, oh jonnhy punches Sussies again, licked the dog and basically was a little booger all day, then i could see parents not taking it well.....

[Christian Mother]

You know it's funny...at interview I tell the parents up front I'm stricked..I do not allow the kids to get a way with anything and most times they give them selves away. If I have a issue I address it right away. I do "daily's" reports and it tells them on there what type of mood they where in even if it changed after nap. I spend at least 5-10 min. each day discussing the day and also behavior. I only have 5 sets of families in my care and I have to say that each of those families really don't rush in or out with the kids. I don't like to have parents hang out at pick up but they understand that I want to discuss with them there childs day...it's important to me to be able to do that as well as I believe it's important to the families. They want to know their kids days and if there was any kind of behavior problems they want to know right away so they can deal with it quickly. I do not have any problems addressing and readdressing the same issues. Sometimes we just need to find a diff. way to approach a problem if it's continual. I am lucky that my parents really help me so the problems i might have are really being worked on. It's all about getting the families involved and expecting that they help you with changing those bad behaviors. I ashually had a little guy that if he doesn't get good rest he does not want to be touched or listen. He wants to do what he wants to do and disciplining him is diff. bc he just has melt downs and just can't control him self. That particular day I was on him from the start. I wouldn't allow any bad behavior and he was quite put out about it. He is used to have everyone including me being lient about it and this time I told dad that this time I wouldn't allow and dad said good...! I love that response of being in full agreement. I feel bad at times bc I love my littles but it's important to let them know at all times who's in charge and that some behaviors just don't fly.

[WImom]

I have a group like that too. I have certain kids that when with other kids they behave a certain way and when those kids aren't here they are fine. I currently HATE Wednesdays because all 5 of these kids are here.

[Sunshine44]

I don't usually unless it is something really bad. I learned early on that it for one doesn't make a difference to the parents around here and two they seem to wonder why it is happening here only because it obviously does not happen at home. If I have something I feel I cannot control then I'd tell them, but I haven't really been in that position yet.

[Countrygal]

Countrykids - I really appreciate this thread! I've been sharing behavioral issues if they are repeated or escalating (for a random ex - if a child is yelling one day, the next day they're pushing and the next day lying) but like you, I wasn't sure how much or at what point to share.

Reading this thread has helped me to form some thoughts in my mind. If my child was "off" one day, I guess I'd want to know because it might mean he's coming down with something, or isn't getting enough sleep, etc. I guess anything I can share with the parents will help them to help their children.