Providing One Month Temporary Care For a Friend...

[Angelwings36]

So my gf called me on January 31st. She had her daughter enrolled in my daycare until November 2011 but ended up having to move to the other side of the city and transporting her daughter to and from my daycare was too much of a financial burden on her so she moved her to a daycare closer to her house. Anyways, her daycare lady went on mat leave this month and my gf had arranged for another lady in her area to watch her daughter over the one month period. Gf story was that she had met with this lady and later sent her an email to confirm her daughter would be coming from February 1st - February 29th. On January 31st she called the daycare and the lady said she never received an email and therefore she filled the space.

This is where I come in. My gf asked me to take her daughter on a temporary one month basis. I hesitated to agree for the following reasons:

1. As a business client my gf was one of the parent's that obviously never read, understood or cared about my contract she would break such rules as; picking up in the middle of nap time, not bringing winter clothes, etc...

2. Our parenting styles are extremely different. Dcg is 2 years old and still has both a soother and a bottle. She doesn't know how to walk in the snow, walk down the stairs while holding someone's hand, she wants to be held all the time and doesn't follow any directions what so ever. It has become clear to me that she has had everything done for her and that is not my style of parenting. I very much believe that children should be shown independence.

3. About half a year back I changed my closing time to 4:30pm on Fridays. I allowed my gf to pick her daughter up at 4:45pm as she wasn't able to juggle her hours at work or find someone else to pick her daughter up. I did not attach an extra fee for this. Almost every friday she would show up at 4:55pm or later to pick up her daughter without even a sorry. I never did charge a late fee because with the friendship involved I didn't want to upset her and cause problems between us, instead I held it all in and just remained bitter with the situation.


So when I told my gf I would help her out this time I gave her a temporary one month contract including all my policies and procedures which she should have already been aware of. The contract was given to her on Wednesday and still has not been returned to me although she claims she signed it and just keeps forgetting to bring it.

In the contract I had stipulated that since I was extending her pick up times on friday to 4:45pm from 4:30pm without attaching a fee, that she would be charged a late fee without exception if she was later than 4:45pm on Fridays to pick up her daughter. I placed this in the contract with the hopes that she wouldn't push the 4:45pm pick up time and I wouldn't end up being bitter with her again. My late fee is $15 for every 15 minutes or part of 15 minutes past my closing time.

I texted her today and confirm who was picking her daughter up to which she responded it would be her. I then reminded her to be here for 4:45pm as I had something pressing to do right after work. Her response was:

"Okay, as long as traffic isn't bad I'll be there by then."

So I guess where I am going with all of this is: should I enforce my late fee as I already know she will push it and not be here by 4:45pm??

What would you do, would you just **** it up for the month and let it go as to not cause any harm to the friendship or would you have a backbone and make her follow your rules like everyone else?

Thanks.

[cheerfuldom]

Enforce your late fee otherwise every single day she will be taking advantage of you for the entire month and worse, may want to move her daughter back with you full time. you have given her ample notice. if she throws a huge fit about it, she can find another daycare and clearly, was not that good of a friend to begin with

either way, please do yourself a favor and do not work with friends in the future. you see where these relationships cause conflict, yes?

[AnneCordelia]

This is your chance to set the precedent. Tell her that since she left care you have firmed up on your policies and they must be followed as agreed upon.

Also I would make sure she knows that the signed contract MUST come back on Monday or there will be no care available.

If she is upset the n SHE is the one not respecting you or your friendship. She is not worth it if she can't understand the business side. You will resent her and the friendship will be ruined anyway.

[Angelwings36]

Go figure, everyone else has been picked up already (4:15pm) 30 ++ minutes just for her! Ugh!

[AnneCordelia]

How did pickup go? What time did she arrive and did you stand by your policies! We're rooting for you!! happyface

[daycare]

if she truly your friend, then you should have no issues talking with her and her understanding your rules and policies.

Communication is key, when you don't do it, you don't get the results you want. You can write all the PHB, memos, letters in the world and you still may not get the results you want. TALK to her, tell her what you expect of her.

[littlemissmuffet]

So my gf called me on January 31st. She had her daughter enrolled in my daycare until November 2011 but ended up having to move to the other side of the city and transporting her daughter to and from my daycare was too much of a financial burden on her so she moved her to a daycare closer to her house. Anyways, her daycare lady went on mat leave this month and my gf had arranged for another lady in her area to watch her daughter over the one month period. Gf story was that she had met with this lady and later sent her an email to confirm her daughter would be coming from February 1st - February 29th. On January 31st she called the daycare and the lady said she never received an email and therefore she filled the space.

This is where I come in. My gf asked me to take her daughter on a temporary one month basis. I hesitated to agree for the following reasons:

1. As a business client my gf was one of the parent's that obviously never read, understood or cared about my contract she would break such rules as; picking up in the middle of nap time, not bringing winter clothes, etc...

2. Our parenting styles are extremely different. Dcg is 2 years old and still has both a soother and a bottle. She doesn't know how to walk in the snow, walk down the stairs while holding someone's hand, she wants to be held all the time and doesn't follow any directions what so ever. It has become clear to me that she has had everything done for her and that is not my style of parenting. I very much believe that children should be shown independence.

3. About half a year back I changed my closing time to 4:30pm on Fridays. I allowed my gf to pick her daughter up at 4:45pm as she wasn't able to juggle her hours at work or find someone else to pick her daughter up. I did not attach an extra fee for this. Almost every friday she would show up at 4:55pm or later to pick up her daughter without even a sorry. I never did charge a late fee because with the friendship involved I didn't want to upset her and cause problems between us, instead I held it all in and just remained bitter with the situation.


So when I told my gf I would help her out this time I gave her a temporary one month contract including all my policies and procedures which she should have already been aware of. The contract was given to her on Wednesday and still has not been returned to me although she claims she signed it and just keeps forgetting to bring it.

In the contract I had stipulated that since I was extending her pick up times on friday to 4:45pm from 4:30pm without attaching a fee, that she would be charged a late fee without exception if she was later than 4:45pm on Fridays to pick up her daughter. I placed this in the contract with the hopes that she wouldn't push the 4:45pm pick up time and I wouldn't end up being bitter with her again. My late fee is $15 for every 15 minutes or part of 15 minutes past my closing time.

I texted her today and confirm who was picking her daughter up to which she responded it would be her. I then reminded her to be here for 4:45pm as I had something pressing to do right after work. Her response was:

"Okay, as long as traffic isn't bad I'll be there by then."

So I guess where I am going with all of this is: should I enforce my late fee as I already know she will push it and not be here by 4:45pm??

What would you do, would you just **** it up for the month and let it go as to not cause any harm to the friendship or would you have a backbone and make her follow your rules like everyone else?

Thanks.

NO FAMILY. NO FRIENDS. NO NEIGHBORS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Unfortunately, you know better. You've already gone down this path and you chose to do it again. I wouldn't hesitate to lose a friendship by declining a request to offer care... then again, my friends know better than to ask. ::

[Angelwings36]

She showed up at 4:45pm on the nose. I guess my text did do something. Yes I know I shouldn't be providing care for family or friends but she was in a pinch and I had a space that I was hoping to have filled for the month but hadn't been able to. I realized when I said yes that I was likely going to have the same problems I just didn't know if I should shrug it off for the month and be happy I was up the money and she wasn't out of care or stand behind my policies. Although I do try to enforce my policy almost all the time, I hate having to do so, so even the little extra boost from providers on here encouraging me to do so helps my backbone grow a little more! Thanks!

[AnneCordelia]

Glad it worked out!

[Christian Mother]

Give her some good feedback on her arriving right on time...Tell her!! Thank you sooo much for being on time...I really didn't want to charge you a late fee...but I will if your late.