Potty Training My DD

[spud912]

Ok, I know I've posted about this before and I know some kids don't become "ready" to potty train until they are 3 1/2, BUT........I think the issue with my dd is that she will always fight going to the potty. She is fiery/spirited/OD (whatever you want to call it) almost 3 year old (2 months shy) and has been fighting getting her diaper changed since she was ~7/8 months old.

Now I'm not saying that she is ready, I'm just trying to figure out if there is a way I can get her to be more willing to at least go into the bathroom to change her diaper and if there is a point at which I have to try harder to get her potty trained (say in 6 months or so?). She currently will go through the night and naps with a dry diaper (most of the time). She poops at the same time of day (in "privacy" away from everyone). She has the vocabulary to tell me when she needs to go. I guess the only thing lacking is her desire to go. I have not been pushing it at all, with the exception of occasionally asking her nicely if she wants to try to go on the potty (to which she yells "NOOOOOO!") at me. I always respond with "ok, when you're a big girl you can use the potty, like so and so."

Now it's not always a bitter fight with diaper changing, but it has to be on her terms. For example, she will take off her diaper to take a bath with no qualms. She is also mostly willing for me to change her in the playroom. She usually fights me wanting to change a poopy diaper, although complains and becomes grumpy when it's poopy. The only way I have ever been able to get her to sit on the potty is if I offer her a sticker as a reward, but then she never pees or poops.

I really believe her little sister will be potty trained before her at this point! I guess I just need some reassurance that it will happen eventually (like she will somehow snap and want to go potty). Should I discuss my concerns with her difficult/stubborn personality with her pediatrician? Am I doing anything wrong here? I just feel like she is so behind because everyone I know with similar-aged children have been potty trained for awhile now.

[Country Kids]

OK, I'm pretty old fashioned (call me vintage minded) but maybe just start putting her in underwear so she actually feels the wetness and poop! I know, I know the whole sanitation issue but seriously what did everyone do before the made pull ups-like those where only invented 15 years ago. If your child was in diapers past 2 maybe 3 people would have thought you where a lazy a parent. Accidents happen and they can be cleaned up. Anyone that is 20 years or older probably never had a pull up and were all potty trained at a reasonable age I'm sure.

So just get her some big girl panties and go from there. She will eventually learn to either go or be wet/poopy.

[busymommy0420]

I tried having my daughter potty train when she just turned two and it didn't take so I let it go. We started up a week ago and she is doing great!happyface I am taking her every 30 minutes and she is going # 1 and now two days in a row went # 2. I plan on putting her panties under her pull up so she feels the wet and can start telling me she needs to go. I do not do any rewards or charts as I feel the reward is her learning. I think you will know when your daughter is ready and don't push it on her. My daughter is 2 years and 5 months old right now and seems ready.

[spud912]

Well my daughter is almost 3 and outright refuses to even enter the bathroom (unless it's to wash her hands, take a bath, or brush her teeth), so taking her every 30 minutes will only aggravate her. When I say she is fiery, I mean screaming and crying, hitting, pushing, etc. The violence has been tamed for the most part, but she is by far the most difficult child I have ever dealt with.

As far as putting her in panties, I tried that and she just goes in it, doesn't tell me, doesn't care. I even took her to the store and had her pick out panties. She likes them but refuses to wear them (I will ask her occasionally if she wants to try on her "special big girl" panties, but with no such luck). I think she would be in a soaked diaper/wet pants all day and not say anything (which makes me think she is not ready . . . at least not at this point). I have considered letting her run around naked and then as soon as I catch her peeing, quickly put her on the toilet (so that she knows where it's supposed to go....seeing as she has never peed a drop or pooped in the toilet). I just haven't had the motivation to clean up pee and poop all day and stare at her constantly to see if she's about to go.

On the rare time I do get her on the toilet, she will sit on it F.O.R.E.V.E.R! She will say "I peed mommy!!!!" and then get down and then climb back up, over and over and over. This will continue for 30 minutes until I take her off (I can't be in the bathroom all day with her!). I can't trust her by herself in there because she will start putting things in the toilet and playing with toilet water.

I think she can go if she wants to but for some reason, she is holding out (I strongly believe it's a control issue...I just don't know when she will give it up). I know at this point she is not ready (unless you potty-training experts believe she is and I just haven't tried the right "technique").

[My3cents]

Well my daughter is almost 3 and outright refuses to even enter the bathroom (unless it's to wash her hands, take a bath, or brush her teeth), so taking her every 30 minutes will only aggravate her. When I say she is fiery, I mean screaming and crying, hitting, pushing, etc. The violence has been tamed for the most part, but she is by far the most difficult child I have ever dealt with.

As far as putting her in panties, I tried that and she just goes in it, doesn't tell me, doesn't care. I even took her to the store and had her pick out panties. She likes them but refuses to wear them (I will ask her occasionally if she wants to try on her "special big girl" panties, but with no such luck). I think she would be in a soaked diaper/wet pants all day and not say anything (which makes me think she is not ready . . . at least not at this point). I have considered letting her run around naked and then as soon as I catch her peeing, quickly put her on the toilet (so that she knows where it's supposed to go....seeing as she has never peed a drop or pooped in the toilet). I just haven't had the motivation to clean up pee and poop all day and stare at her constantly to see if she's about to go.

On the rare time I do get her on the toilet, she will sit on it F.O.R.E.V.E.R! She will say "I peed mommy!!!!" and then get down and then climb back up, over and over and over. This will continue for 30 minutes until I take her off (I can't be in the bathroom all day with her!). I can't trust her by herself in there because she will start putting things in the toilet and playing with toilet water.

I think she can go if she wants to but for some reason, she is holding out (I strongly believe it's a control issue...I just don't know when she will give it up). I know at this point she is not ready (unless you potty-training experts believe she is and I just haven't tried the right "technique").

She doesn't sound ready. Can she tell you that she has to go, or that she is wet or poopy? Thirty minutes is way too long to keep her on the potty. She will hate it. Who wouldn't? Introduce, watch for signs of when she is going, and then go on that. Put her on for no more then 3-5 minutes. If she doesn't go, tell her next time. When she does go, make like its a big deal. Praise, praise praise. I would never leave a little kid in the bathroom by themselves, too little. Make it part of the day, ok we all have to try to go to the bathroom. It's a pain, but once they are trained its great!! I really feel its about training the parents/providers to be consistent and to know when the child needs to go. IF your going to go cold turkey- make a big deal out of how it doesn't feel good to be wet, poopy. Playing in the bathroom is not an option either. We do our business in there and get out. Another thing is don't ask her if she wants to wear the big girl panties, just put them on her like its a normal everyday thing we do....when she is ready. Another thing is she needs to be able to pull down her pants by herself, another sign she is ready. or- with minimal help. I would forget about it for a few weeks and then try again. Try with the approach of this is just something we do- but praise to the high heavens for success Good Luck- one more thing don't make a big deal out of accidents, tons of them are bound to happen.....just clean it up

[MyAngels]

One of my current daycare kids was like your daughter, and then one day he just told his mom "no more diapers" and has been fully potty trained since, so there's hope .

I used this book when I potty trained my oldest son (many, many years ago) http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Trainin.../dp/0671693808 with great success, but he was very easy going, so I'm not sure how it would work with your fiery girl.

[spud912]

MyAngels: I hope my daughter is like the boy you had! I will look into the book

My3Cents: I would much rather prefer 3-5 minutes! It's my daughter who likes to get up and down and up and down for 30 minutes. I think she likes the extra attention I am giving her, which is why she does it. I really like your advice to just do it as if it is a part of the day.

When you all "try" to potty train, how long do you proceed until you decide they are not ready yet? I want to try again, but I have to admit that I usually give up after a day (due to her fighting and crying and melting into a puddle of mud). I was thinking about putting her in only panties (no other clothing) for a day or two and going from there. If she starts fighting, then stop and try again in a month? I just really think she will fight it no matter what (now, next month, 1 year from now) as she has been fighting diaper changing for 2 years now with slow progress. I am starting to believe she knows I want her to do it and will hold out for eternity as a matter of principle.

[Heidi]

How about if she poops in her diaper, you matter-of-factly say "oh, lets put this poop where it belongs....in the toilet"...la di da.... go dump it in, and let her flush?

Don't bring up any other part of it...like how she SHOULD put it in the toilet directly.

It sounds like she senses what you really want, even if you are trying to mention it casually. I would let that part go (for now). She does, however, need to comply with diaper changes. This is NOT a choice, li'l lady!