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I watch a 12 month old who cries every time I leave the room, and sometimes even when I am in the room. He will cry, for example, after naptime, clean diaper, had bottle- so I know that he isn't sleepy or hungry. I put "for no reason" in quotes because obviously he has a reason, but it isn't that his needs are not being met. He is not teething- he has been doing this on and off for the past 2 months and I have had him for 3 months. How can I stop this behavior? Will it work if I put him in a pack and play in the other room every time he cries? It is not against my state regulations to put him in a pack and play for times other than sleeping, so I would not be breaking any rules. Of course, I would not leave him in there forever, just for enough time for him to calm down, then I will get him out as soon as he stops crying. Do you think this will work if I do this over and over until he stops the pattern of crying? I am thinking it might take a week of being consistent about it. Have any of you had experience with this? I am looking for a way to fix this fast, the other children are sick of him crying.
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crying spot!!!!
Not a pack and play, just a soft cushy spot where you can take him, at the far end of the room.
"Here is the crying spot. Come play when you are done crying"....
repeat as needed...he will catch on quickly! -
I'm working on the crying spot too. When I leave a room I talk to the kids but it just doesn't work, they get so hysterical so now I put them on my mat. I have one child who doesn't like anyone here, very spoiled child and cries if someone comes (even thou she sees them everyday) doesn't like the parents at p/u or drop off and its the same people.Comment
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Do you think a 12 month old will stay in a crying spot?Comment
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acually they do.Comment
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My own 14mo DS has been "doing" the crying step since he was 11 months old. It works ok now but not like it does for the older kids. I think that you should keep in mind that because of a baby's age, it's not going to work like it does for older kids and that's ok.
You have to keep the childs age and stage of development in mind. Obviously a 1yo may get up before he's finished crying (mine does) and you should sort of change the rules for a crying spot for kids this young. For example a 3yo that's on the crying spot is made to return if the child gets up before he/she stops crying, then when the child finally does stop crying is asked if he/she would like to join the group again.
A 1yo is different, you will sit him down at the crying spot and he will probably immediately try to get up. You'll need to walk the child back but gently say that when he/she is finished crying he/she can play. Say something soothing "You're sad aren't you? It's ok to be sad" (while patting his back or hugging him. Sit the child back down, wait a few seconds and then ask "All done? Want to play now?" and if they seem even a little bit better walk the child back to the group even if they are still crying softly. If the child cries again say something like "Uh oh. We need to sit again" and walk the child back to the crying corner. The idea of introducing the crying corner this early is not really to see results, but the child will eventually learn the pattern and the "rule" that he/she can't simply cry to solve an issue.
On the side note, I think it's important to say that the crying corner should not be made out to be a negative thing, it's not a time out. In my DC we keep "Tattling turtle" in the crying spot which is a stuffed turtle. He lives there in his basket and when the DC kids feel sad and want to talk or cry to get their emotions out they are told that it's ok to cry but that they can only cry in that crying spot and they are allowed to cuddle and hold tattling turtle or their own "lovie" if they brought one. They "talk" their troubles out to their "lovie" and can return to the group once they feel better.
Sorry so long. Hope this helps. I hate to say it but you could possible just have a high needs child. If the baby is a "slow-to-warm-up" type of baby he/she may just be feeling insecure or overstimulated. If that's the case the child will need special attention to feel secure again and unfortunately putting him in a pack n play will not work for a child like this, it might actually make it worse. I don't know what type of child the baby is so it's hard for me to say but you can try several things and maybe you'll find something that works through trial and error. Good luck.Comment
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maybe not the first time or the 3rd time, but after a few days, he will get it.
The idea is that you are not presenting it as a "punishment", but a consequence. You can even try explaining it when the child is not crying. Gently tell him that when he cries, it hurts everyone's ears, so if he wants to cry, he needs to move away.
You might find him going there on his own after a few times.Comment
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My group is 4 1yos. They all started at 11 mos old and are between 15-19mos old now. I use a crying blanket. It stays in the same spot. For the first few weeks/months it was a lot of repitition but now the babies know that if they are sad they can snuggle the blanket until they are ready to play again. They 'get it' now at the ages they are and it's really done wonders for our group dynamic and ability to all play nicely in one space.Comment
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I have 3 that are 17 months old. One has the random crying thing, but it's getting so much better with the crying spot.
My crying spot (the corrall) is working great. Just yesterday, I put one of the girls there. She promptly got up and started out. I just sort of casually blocked her and asked if she was sure she was through crying. She paused a minute, then sat back down until she stopped.
I'm still amazed at how well it is working!Comment
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