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[QUOTE=QualiTcare;26349]
when i was teaching, some of the teachers didn't agree with my philosophy of "no, they don't always have to share or play with everyone." sometimes kids need alone time and sometimes they just don't get along well. for example, my daughter was intimidated by a child who wanted to play with her all the time because she thought the other child was "mean" and she didn't want to play with her. i told her that she didn't have to play with someone that made her uncomfortable vs. the "we're all friends" approach - because we all know that's not always the case, especially when we get older. i mean, this girl did throw sand in her eyes once for NO reason and she almost had to go to the ER - so trying to force her to be friends wasn't realistic IMHO. for the kids that came up to me and said, "billy won't play with me," i would say, "then find someone else to play with. it's billy's loss." they would usually run along and feel empowered. not to say i would let the child who gets picked on always be left out - but i'm talking about typical bickering amongst friends.
I am a strong believer in this!
This is a good idea. I am going to see if this works with my group because the tattling is driving me insane!
when i was teaching, some of the teachers didn't agree with my philosophy of "no, they don't always have to share or play with everyone." sometimes kids need alone time and sometimes they just don't get along well. for example, my daughter was intimidated by a child who wanted to play with her all the time because she thought the other child was "mean" and she didn't want to play with her. i told her that she didn't have to play with someone that made her uncomfortable vs. the "we're all friends" approach - because we all know that's not always the case, especially when we get older. i mean, this girl did throw sand in her eyes once for NO reason and she almost had to go to the ER - so trying to force her to be friends wasn't realistic IMHO. for the kids that came up to me and said, "billy won't play with me," i would say, "then find someone else to play with. it's billy's loss." they would usually run along and feel empowered. not to say i would let the child who gets picked on always be left out - but i'm talking about typical bickering amongst friends.
I am a strong believer in this!
On the subject of tattletales (when it isn't a safety issue),
If a child comes up to me and says, "He took my ball and I had it first", or something like it, I always ask them, "then what did you do?". I will keep the conversation amongst us, and help the tattler to get past it using their words, or give them pointers on what to go say to the offender. I always ask them to come back and tell me if it worked, and intervene only if it goes absolutely nowhere. That way, they get the guidance without the satisfaction of getting someone in trouble.
If they tattle about "So and so is breaking a rule!" Then I simply ask them "Did you tell me that so they will get in trouble, or because you are a friend and you are worried about it?" They almost always say the second one, so I respond with "Well, you can be a good friend right now and go remind them of the rules. Next time, try to tell them before you tell me."
60% of the time, it works every time.....
If a child comes up to me and says, "He took my ball and I had it first", or something like it, I always ask them, "then what did you do?". I will keep the conversation amongst us, and help the tattler to get past it using their words, or give them pointers on what to go say to the offender. I always ask them to come back and tell me if it worked, and intervene only if it goes absolutely nowhere. That way, they get the guidance without the satisfaction of getting someone in trouble.
If they tattle about "So and so is breaking a rule!" Then I simply ask them "Did you tell me that so they will get in trouble, or because you are a friend and you are worried about it?" They almost always say the second one, so I respond with "Well, you can be a good friend right now and go remind them of the rules. Next time, try to tell them before you tell me."
60% of the time, it works every time.....
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