Have Another Baby?

[lil angels]

So me and hubby had been thinking about having another baby. We have two boys that are 5 and 9. And it has been a lot more me than him. So I kind of left it be this was last year year and I do have to agree it is very nice having the older kids that don't need attention every second. I feel like I am getting my freedom back again.

Well my brother passed away two weeks ago(suicide). It has been very hard but know all I can think about is another baby. And my husband brought it up to me out of the blue I didn't say a word to him.

I am wondering what your thoughts are am I just thinking about this because of the accident or should we do it. It was only me and my brother and my husband only has one brother two and lives 3 states away. I kind off feel like I lost my brothers kids two because his hateful ex wife will not let us see them. That is another story. I don't feel like I am trying to "replace" anyone but I am realizing how presous life and family is and I had thoughts before about it and don't know what to do.

Any thoughts would be great.

[Ariana]

I feel that you should never bring another child into the world unless that child is wanted, plain and simple. It should never be for any other reason than wanting to add to your family and both of you should be on the same page. If for any reason you think this sudden need to have another child is related to your brothers death then my advice would be to wait until your emotions become a little more settled. Dealing with a death of a close family member is very emotionally difficult and you may not be thinking clearly.

I am a mother of an only child by choice. Sometimes I think of what if's too (what if she's lonely, what if she is mad that we didn't give her a sibling, what if she feels burdened when we're older etc etc) but nothing in life is a guarantee. I can't bring another child into the world based on "what if".

Lastly I wanted to give you my sincerest and deepest regrets that your brother has passed. That is the most horrible thing and I am so sorry for your loss

[christinaskids]

I come from a big family and love it. You are never lonely i would say as long as you truly want it, can afford it and another child wont overwhelm you, then go for it! I think most peopke with big families have your mindset. Too many unwanted children are born everyday, i wished they all thought about it like you beforehand!

[Daycaremomof2]

So me and hubby had been thinking about having another baby. We have two boys that are 5 and 9. And it has been a lot more me than him. So I kind of left it be this was last year year and I do have to agree it is very nice having the older kids that don't need attention every second. I feel like I am getting my freedom back again.

Well my brother passed away two weeks ago(suicide). It has been very hard but know all I can think about is another baby. And my husband brought it up to me out of the blue I didn't say a word to him.

I am wondering what your thoughts are am I just thinking about this because of the accident or should we do it. It was only me and my brother and my husband only has one brother two and lives 3 states away. I kind off feel like I lost my brothers kids two because his hateful ex wife will not let us see them. That is another story. I don't feel like I am trying to "replace" anyone but I am realizing how presous life and family is and I had thoughts before about it and don't know what to do.

Any thoughts would be great.

Awww hun I am so sorry about your brother! Babies are such miracles! If you really want another, I would think about it for a month or so before TTC, only because of your recent loss. It is a big commitment

BUT, they are wonderful, amazing, sweet little angels too. Best of luck!

[lil angels]

Thanks guys I just ethink a large family would be great. Money won't be a big issue. We have the space in the house. I have a lot of friends with large family's and would love for my boys to have that. But I and my husband are from small family's so is the grass greener on the otherside? You always want what you don't have right. I have imagined our family in all types of situations and what an addition would do and yes the first yr may be a bit tricky but I think it would work out fine. What to do what to do.

[safechner]

I can't say but it is your life. If you really want to have another baby that you can afford and go for it! Honestly, I would love to have another baby but I don't want to start over because my girls are 11 and 9 years old. I love my freedom and I enjoy myself that I can take my girls anywhere like going to Six Flags so we can ride all of it or something like that.

My husband and I were talking about it last week which I thought I was pregnant because my period was late. We made in love too much during on our vacation last Christmas. Sorry! He said if it happens then he would be very happy no matter what. I was like what? Well, if it happened then I will be happy, too! I will give my child love no matter. We love our girls very much and they were both accident. I am still young! happyface

[lil angels]

Yep I will be 34 next month so I am not old but not young either. I kinda feel like I was blessed with two healthy boys do I try again or leave well enough alone. I was thinking maybe to try for a year if it happens cool if not then cool. It took 2 and a half yrs with my first ( I think I was trying to hard). And 8 months with the second. So it may not happen anyway.

[wdmmom]

I have 4 of my own children and my step son lives with us full time. We have a large family. Sometimes we get stares and my thought is BE JEALOUS! Even through all the chaos and craziness, we LOVE every minute of it!

Had it not have been for meeting my husband 4 years ago and my oldest now being 15 and my youngest being 7, we even considered having 1 more!

To me, it's the more the merrier! My mom has 5 sibilings and I loved family functions! Her and her siblings are so close!

I wanted to bring my children up in a close knit family as well. I considered only having one too but the benefits of having a big family and siblings by far outweigh an only child. I also have several only child friends that really wished growing up they had a close relationship with a sibling.

To each their own. 2 of my 4 babies weren't planned and I was quite alright with that. I knew the risks and regardless of "planned" or not, they are all loved just the same.

[lil angels]

Thanks for all the replies. I love the old saying the more the merrier.happyface

[emmajo]

I must be some sort of old fogy or whatever, and I am truly not trying to "stir the pot" as I've seen in some posts - but I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of someone asking complete strangers on the internet whether or not they should have another baby. As Crystal often says, wow, just wow. This just seems like a very personal decision within your family. I hope you base it on your own family dynamics, and as others have said, wait a while to absorb your losses before making decisions.

[lil angels]

Duh! I know I am not going to base having a baby or not by what people on the Internet say. But I am wondering if anyone has had a loss like this before and had these feelings. And if you were trying to decide about another what your thought are about it.

[jen]

Duh! I know I am not going to base having a baby or not by what people on the Internet say. But I am wondering if anyone has had a loss like this before and had these feelings. And if you were trying to decide about another what your thought are about it.

LOL...The FIRST thing I thought when I read the post your are referring to was DUH!

[cheerfuldom]

Jen, I am very very sorry for your loss. There is a lot to think about when you have another child. My first thought is to wait a bit and see how you feel in 6 months. But I will say that I come from a very disfunctional family. I find my three children to be a huge blessing and comfort in light of the fact that like you, I feel very alone when it comes to extended family. One of the reasons that I wanted to have a large family was to create this family that I did not have in my childhood. I am not even going to guess at what are "the" acceptable reasons to have a child are and realize that some people would disapprove of my reasons. However, I do believe that children are a blessing. I know that my three have been that for me. Maybe my reason is not good enough for some people but the important thing is that I love my kids and care for them in the best way I know how. I don't see how that could be bad. Good luck in your decision. Its unfortunate that one poster does not see that a discussion can bring enlightenment to a decision. Sometimes it is actually more helpful to bounce ideas off of strangers and it is also helpful to hear from people who have faced similar decisions.