Need Help With A Behavior Plan-Sorry Long!

[Heidi]

My ds was the same. I agree with what is said here, except, he seems to be able to behave at preschool. My son couldn't behave anywhere - 4-H, church, friend's house, grandmas'. His behavior was the same everywhere. He would never have behaved in a preschool setting.

Makes me think it is something with the consistency. Have you tried a really consistent schedule? Just a thought. I know that used to help my ds.

I wonder if you could meet with his preschool teacher and bring her in on the behavior plan. That would certainly help with the consistency! If all of you were on the same page, it may help everyone, but especially the child! (I'll bet they are not handing out legos for good behavior at preschool! )

I have honestly wondered about that. I have tried to set up a day to observe the classroom. But taking time off to do this has proved challenging. I usually only have a day off during the week when his school is also closed, like a Holiday.

I think he does well there because of 3 things: 1. It is a very structured setting, very teacher directed, and there is not much "free play". 2. his sibs aren't there to fuel the fire. 3. there is some peer pressure, even at his age, to act like his age mates. Most 4 year olds don't throw temper tantrums & are pretty good at following rules. Most....

[Countrygal]

IMO he gets a sticker when he verbalizes his frustration INSTEAD of tantrumming. After 5 stickers he gets a bigger sticker, then when he wins 3 big stickers he gets a prize. I would try and make the prize something emotionally rewarding like spending one on one time with mom at the movies. It is extremely important to get him to channel his anger into something else (verbalizing, blowing into a pretent balloon) rather than stuff it down for rewards. This will teach him a lifelong skill that will improve his life considerably and possibly keep him out of jail.

I agree. I'd even maybe take it one step farther - teaching him the appropriate responses and only getting a sticker when he uses one.

He's told he misused a toy so the toy is taken into "time out" and he throws a fit. Immediate time to think, no warning. When fit is over, You ask how he could have handled that better. No response, you tell him. Instead of throwing a hissy fit, you could have said "I'm upset I did that". Or some such thing. That's for you to decide.

Here's how I'd hand out the stickers - one every time he comes up with what he SHOULD have done, TWO every time he doesn't throw a fit. Also, I'd let him put the stickers on the chart so he can see them mounting up.

Like the others, I am not a big fan of sticker charts, tho......

[Countrygal]

I have honestly wondered about that. I have tried to set up a day to observe the classroom. But taking time off to do this has proved challenging. I usually only have a day off during the week when his school is also closed, like a Holiday.

I think he does well there because of 3 things: 1. It is a very structured setting, very teacher directed, and there is not much "free play". 2. his sibs aren't there to fuel the fire. 3. there is some peer pressure, even at his age, to act like his age mates. Most 4 year olds don't throw temper tantrums & are pretty good at following rules. Most....

Honestly, Bbo, I've only been in daycare this time since Sept and free play has almost gone out the window already except for "short bursts". 10-15 min segments of time. Beyond that things start to get out of control. Everything else is directed activity. I have one child who is really balking at this, but the free-for-all thing was more than I could tolerate. I would not be in business six months and every piece of furniture, toy, window, etc would be broken! I just know it!

I am saving up all "free play" for summer! I can't wait!