Hitting my limit!

[bunnyslippers]

I am fed up with one of my DCF. I have had this family here for four years - first with their son, now their daughter. I can't stand the father. He is a complete idiot, and can not remember or follow the simplest of house rules. I like the mother very much, and therefore have kept them around for all this time. The blatant disrespect and stupidity from the father, however, is really starting to add up. He drives on my lawn at least once a week. Tracks mud across my hard wood floors despite multiple reminders and signs to wipe his feet. Slams my front door so hard it shakes the wall. Talks on his cell phone as he walks through my house, drops off his child and leaves without acknowledging me in any way. Brings his child without shoes and socks. Forgets to button her shirts before he drops her.

In addition, the child (18 months) is exhibiting the same aberrant behaviors I witnessed her brother exhibit. She is aggressive, and sneaky about it (bites, pinches, hits, kicks). She is fed langauge "Say, 'I love backloaders'" by her parents despite my multiple reminders that she should be allowed to retrieve words on her own in order to develop her language. She intentionally annoys other children - will sit on toys she knows they want to use, will take away toys she knows they want to use, etc.

I know I should terminate, but I am torn by my sense of loyalty to the mother after all of these years.

I just needed to vent for a minute ~

[littlemissmuffet]

Hmmm. I wouldn't necessarily term. Not after 4 long years of dealing with it already. What I WOULD do is sit down and have a meeting with mom and dad. Let mom and dad know that if dad's behaviours don't change/cease than only mom will be allowed to drop off and pick up child(ren). If that's not an option - then they will have to leave. Have a 2 week probationary period for dad - just as you would a child.

As for the 18 month old.... I would just keep working with her. She's probably with you more waking hours than the parents, so you have more oppurtunities to correct bad behaviour!

Good luck!

[bunnyslippers]

Thanks! That is actually something I hadn't considered. I am fortunate with most of my families and have never really had another situation like this. I think I will try to meet with them.

And I do love the little girl....

[Ariana]

Hmmm. I wouldn't necessarily term. Not after 4 long years of dealing with it already. What I WOULD do is sit down and have a meeting with mom and dad. Let mom and dad know that if dad's behaviours don't change/cease than only mom will be allowed to drop off and pick up child(ren). If that's not an option - then they will have to leave. Have a 2 week probationary period for dad - just as you would a child.

As for the 18 month old.... I would just keep working with her. She's probably with you more waking hours than the parents, so you have more oppurtunities to correct bad behaviour!

Good luck!

Totally agree!

[littlemissmuffet]

Thanks! That is actually something I hadn't considered. I am fortunate with most of my families and have never really had another situation like this. I think I will try to meet with them.

And I do love the little girl....

Unfortunately... I have. LOL. Sometimes sitting down with both parents and laying everything down on the table helps. Sometimes not - and then at least you can say, "Hey, you had fair warning, now it's time for you to go".

Definitely give it a try for the sake of the relationship you and the little girl have and let us know the result!

[daycare]

I had a dad like this too that I could not stand, but I loved the mom and the kids. I finally had it and I talked to the mom and told her what was going on with the dad. I told her that she needed to set dad straight or she needed to drop the kids herself.

This dad had no filter and no respect for my rules....Dad dropped off and mom picked up. they were also with me for a few years. Mom ended up having grandma drop off before the ended up leaving.......