Dealing with a Picky Eater

[smp0808]

This is my first post on here--I've always found great info here in the past, so I'm hoping you guys can help me out. I will try to keep it as brief as possible.

I have a 12 month old daughter and I care for a 19 month old little girl full-time, so its just me and the two girls all day. I am not licensed nor do I participate in the food program, and per our contract, DCG's mom provides her food (this was her choice). The problem is that DCG is an extremely picky eater. DCG gets fed breakfast at home, then I offer a morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack from the food stash her mom keeps at my house. I try to offer healthy, balanced meals (although the stuff her mom sends is not the best) but DCG often refuses to eat what I offer. She is at the very bottom of the weight growth chart (she weighs 21 pounds at 19 months old) so her parents are a bit concerned and want me to let her eat whatever she wants whenever she wants. This is exhausting for me. I used to offer her anything and everything, letting her eat whatever she would accept (even if it was just blackberries and Oreos all day) but it started wearing on me, so lately I've been letting DCG choose between two options I've selected at each meal. If she eats, great. If not, too bad. I know that DCG's parents let her eat whatever she wants whenever she wants at home.

I think I'm doing the right thing in not catering to her picky eating behaviors, but I'm concerned because of the uniqueness of the situation--the girl's mom sends her food, so should I be more flexible in offering her alternatives if she refuses what I serve her first? (Sometimes, when the girl hasn't eaten much of anything all day, the mom will say "Well, did you try one of the yogurts I sent?"...No, because I tried the cheese, pasta and veggies that you sent and she refused all of that!) Secondly, does the fact that she is so low on the growth charts mean that I need to be more flexible? The parents have taken her to a nutritionist but no health issue has been identified as of yet. They are toying with the idea of taking her for another appointment, though.

Any advice is much appreciated!

[cheeseheadmama]

I have dealt with many picky eaters and it can be very frustrating. You are doing things exactly how I would do it by offering but not forcing. The kids will eat eventually but if her parents aren't concerned about what she is eating then it is hard to interfere. Sometimes kids need to see new foods a dozen times or more before they will actually try it and try it many times before they actually enjoy it. When you want her to try something "new" maybe just put a tiny amount of it on her plate every day for a while and see if she eventually picks it up. One little guy I watched refused to try the pineapple I put on his plate for weeks but then once he did try it, it quickly became one of his favorite foods.

Being at the bottom of the growth chart is OK, as long as she stays there and doesn't start losing weight.

Good luck!

[spud912]

My kids are both below the 5th percentile, but that is because they are just petite. I feed them everything that everyone else eats. Sometimes they eat all of it, sometimes hardly anything. They will eat when they are hungry. I do not cater to pickiness nor do I feed them junk to get them to eat. Unless I have a note from a doctor saying otherwise, I will not give them anything special or different from anyone else.