Ok I Need Some Help On This One!

[Heidi]

I am soooo frustrated with this kid. He is 4, and attends around preschool here.

Not an hour, not a single hour, goes by without a tantrum. He absolutely refuses to accept NO to anything. Validating his feelings? Ahhh. no...he doesn't hear a word. He just screams louder.

I have sent him out of the room, and told him he can come back when he has calmed down. He throws things, kicks things, and leaves the room. Honestly, I was so close to actually loosing it with him today, that I put him out on the porch (enclosed) for a moment so that I could calm down! I KNOW that sounds awful, but I am here alone with 6 children, and everyone else was loosing it because of his screaming, including my 11 year old. He ran into his room and shut the door.

This kid is 60 lbs and freakin mean, man! OH, and he can turn OFF the tantrum as easily as on-if I whispered "hey, do you want a cookie?" he would stop on a dime!


In 20 plus years of raising kids, I have never felt like giving up like this. It's time for a serious talk with mom, not the first talk, but I have to lay it all out on the table here. I can't even imagine spending my summer, when it gets here, with this on my plate.

If I terminate, I will loose 4 kids at once, out of 5..wwyd?

[Zoe]

It definitely sounds like you need to have a talk with mom. And if you're scared that you're going to lose all of your kids because of this (are they all siblings?) then I'd start advertising while you're working through this. Maybe if you have something else lined up it might help ease the blow.

[Daycaremomof2]

I would post on Craigslist and get 4 more kids. AND I would increase my rates for all of my new families (because you are probably due a raise anyway) (Line up your interviews before you term).

In my experience, if 1 child is causing you to make you want to quit, or giving you a daily headache, and the situation has not improved after 30 days, I term. You only live 1 life and it's too short to be around people who make you miserable, even if it's a child.

[Blackcat31]

I would post on Craigslist and get 4 more kids. AND I would increase my rates for all of my new families (because you are probably due a raise anyway) (Line up your interviews before you term).

In my experience, if 1 child is causing you to make you want to quit, or giving you a daily headache, and the situation has not improved after 30 days, I term. You only live 1 life and it's too short to be around people who make you miserable, even if it's a child.

This is so true!!!

[Breezy]

Bet you anything mom gives in at home and he knows the tantruming works. What is with parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I ever turn into that kind of a mom, please someone slap me.

[Ariana]

If he's 4 and this is the way he's behaving then it's not going to get better without some serious interventions. You and mom need to be on the same page. His tantrums are obviously getting him what he wants at home.

For the record I never validate childrens feelings until they are in a calm mind frame. Validating feelings while in a tantrum is like trying to reason with a drunk while they're drunk. Talking to him about his feelings comes when he's calm and can hear you. The tantrum needs to be ignored and if he's throwing things and being generally unsafe then you did the right thing by removing him.

Next time he's calm, take him aside and say "wow johnny you sure seemed angry, can you tell me why you're angry?" Then ask him "next time is there another way you can express this anger?" Then come up with ideas and keep reiterating them.

Maybe something both you and mom could start doing together...just a thought