Did I Say Something Bad? *Frustrated*

[cheeseheadmama]

I know everyone around here has seen some crazy things, but this one is a first for me and I don't know how to react to it. I watch a variety of children, all part timers, and am a little confounded about how to respond to a situation with one family. First some background: this family has me watch their 5 YO (boy/girl) twins after their morning 4K program; until recently I was watching them all 5 days from 11-4, but recently they started only coming here 2 days due to a change in their father's work situation.

The boy walked in today telling me that if I say the words "you guys" that I will have to apologize to him because if he says it at home he has to apologize to his father. Apparently, he has picked this phrase up while in my care and his parents are very offended by it. I will often say to the whole group "what would you guys like to do today?" or "do you guys want juice or milk with lunch?" Now I am feeling very self conscious about it and worry about what else I am saying to offend them.

Also, after being home with their father for the past week, they seem to have forgotten every rule and routine that we have around here and are driving me bonkers! The are obviously the ones in charge at their house and have forgotten that that does not fly around here. I am not looking forward to starting fresh with them every single week!

[SilverSabre25]

:confused: how strange!

I could see if he needed to apologize to his mother/sister since "you guys" technically means "you male-typee humanoids". However, colloquially, it has come to mean, "hey you group of people, most likely mixed gender but nit necessarily!"

You could, if you want replace "you guys" with, "you kids", "you people", "you munchkins", or the ever popular "ya'll"...but I don't think that it is inherently bad, no.

[MN Day Mom]

Maybe its not that the parents are offended by you using, but maybe by the child referring to his parents as 'you guys' instead of mom and dad? Just a thought.

[Meyou]

I wonder if he would approve of my calling my crew, you boogers? You boogers come here! You boogers clean up the toys! I also call them stinky monkeys.

[countrymom]

confront the dad about it. Thats just odd to be doing.

[cheeseheadmama]

For this family, I am pretty sure it is a respect issue with the children using "you guys" to address or refer to adults. But I don't want to have to use completely formal language with the CHILDREN. I have been trying to say "everyone" instead, but it still feels like I am censoring myself needlessly.

[Breezy]

I don't think you said anything bad. My uncle is like this though. Very particular about how his children speak to him. Like if my cousin says "Hey!" on the phone to him she will correct herself and say "oops sorry dad! Hi"

[Breezy]

I wonder if he would approve of my calling my crew, you boogers? You boogers come here! You boogers clean up the toys! I also call them stinky monkeys.

My DH calls our DS Booger. Drives me up the wall!! ::

[cheeseheadmama]

I wonder if he would approve of my calling my crew, you boogers? You boogers come here! You boogers clean up the toys! I also call them stinky monkeys.

I have always called my group silly names like that too! Like "munchkins", "silly monkeys", etc and they always laugh and love that I am being silly with them. Now I am really worried about it and it has completely shaken my confidence.

[laundrymom]

Stop stressing. You guys is an acceptable term in your home. It may not be in theirs, but you make the rules. Ask dad,

Hey why don't you guys let the kids say you guys? Because we do say it here and I think the two sets of rules are confusing your kids.

[Cat Herder]

Until an Adult takes the time to discuss the "issue" with you.... I'd not give it a second thought.

As far as part-time chronic "retraining" syndrome... Yeah, that is why I don't do part-time anymore. ::

[LittleD]

Not to mention the little guy can be taking something out of context. I wouldn't ask why they aren't allowed to say you guys at home, I would instead say "ÿour son mentioned something to me today, I was just wondering what this is about?" Then you can find out what really is going on.

[cheerfuldom]

I agree with Cath (again!). I dont let the kids tell me what to do. If the parents have a serious issue with my service, they need to talk to me otherwise, I just go about my merry way

[cheeseheadmama]

I agree with Cath (again!). I dont let the kids tell me what to do. If the parents have a serious issue with my service, they need to talk to me otherwise, I just go about my merry way

Oh, believe me he got told that he doesn't get to demand anything from me. I don't tolerate that AT ALL. I did explain to him that it is OK for me to say "you guys" as an adult, but he couldn't use it if his parents didn't like it. But it got me to thinking and worrying about what else might be a problem. And I didn't want him to be constantly getting in trouble for inadvertently repeating something that I thought was "gender neutral" and appropriate. Guess I was just blindsided by the whole thing.

[SilverSabre25]

Oh, believe me he got told that he doesn't get to demand anything from me. I don't tolerate that AT ALL. I did explain to him that it is OK for me to say "you guys" as an adult, but he couldn't use it if his parents didn't like it. But it got me to thinking and worrying about what else might be a problem. And I didn't want him to be constantly getting in trouble for inadvertently repeating something that I thought was "gender neutral" and appropriate. Guess I was just blindsided by the whole thing.

TECHNICALLY, it's not gender neutral.

But then again, TECHNICALLY, proper English does not HAVE a gender neutral form. We try to make it up using a lot of ambiguous pronouns that make the whole thing more confusing, but properly, the "neutral" form is the masculine. Or using "one" but that just makes you sound uppity and isn't appropriate in some places. There are some words, like "children" that are neutral but again...don't always work and often sound uppity.