4 Yo May Have Some Anger Issues??

[Heidi]

So, I am beginning to wonder about this 4yo boy. He has been with me for 7 months, along with several sibs. I have not really seen him interact with children or adults outside my own program very much (other than his family).

This kid is very verbal, so he can express himself "I'm hungry, angry, cold, whatever" very well.

He has thrown some major temper tantrums around here, screaming, kicking, and throwing the nearest object. On days he is here the whole day (he goes to preschool a few mornings a week), I don't think we've ever made it a whole day without at least one, if not two tantrums.

I am beginning to wonder, not about "anger management" but about WHY is he so easily angry, disapointed, frustrated? Literally, WHENEVER something does not go his way (he is not first, for instance), he gets mad. I know he's only 4, but I have never in my life met such a negative child. I want to respect that he has his own personality, but I am really concerned about how much time he spends angry.

Generally, he does not act out physically towards other people, although he does occasionally.

Of course, he sets a presidence for the younger ones, and even my sweet child (from another family) has started acting out (which could be normal I-am-almost-2 behavior on his part).

[Blackcat31]

Sounds like my DS at 4 yrs old. Therapist said some children are angry and frustrated by nature and the best thing we can do for them is let them know it IS ok to feel that way and to teach them proper outlets for frustrations and anger as well as help them label their feelings since anger can actually be so many other things.

Self-regulation is often a hard thing to master and many kids just don't know how to do it and need to have good role modeling and actual examples shown to them.

My DS is still kind of has an negative and/or pessimistic outlook on things sometimes but over all he has learned to manage this himself through a lot of one on one, and alot of validation for his feelings. Giving him permission to feel the way he does helped too. He also says the tools he was taught (using words to state how he feels and separating himself from the situation when necessary) helped him alot.

He now recognizes when he is feeling angry, frustrated, anxious and or uncomfortable. Often he expressed all those things as simple outright anger. It was important he knew the difference in those feelings so he could address them.

Good for you for noticing this child's "cry" for help.

[cheerfuldom]

does he get any attention at home or even spend that much time with his parents? sometimes the worst tantrums offenders are kids that only get attention at home from being bad or they go from school to daycare to a evening babysitter and just dont have the time with the parents that they need. i recently found out that one of my full timers has been going to an evening babysitter or is put down for bed too early.....yes, she is my biggest offender for tantrums.

[Ariana]

Sounds like my DS at 4 yrs old. Therapist said some children are angry and frustrated by nature and the best thing we can do for them is let them know it IS ok to feel that way and to teach them proper outlets for frustrations and anger as well as help them label their feelings since anger can actually be so many other things.

Self-regulation is often a hard thing to master and many kids just don't know how to do it and need to have good role modeling and actual examples shown to them.

My DS is still kind of has an negative and/or pessimistic outlook on things sometimes but over all he has learned to manage this himself through a lot of one on one, and alot of validation for his feelings. Giving him permission to feel the way he does helped too. He also says the tools he was taught (using words to state how he feels and separating himself from the situation when necessary) helped him alot.

He now recognizes when he is feeling angry, frustrated, anxious and or uncomfortable. Often he expressed all those things as simple outright anger. It was important he knew the difference in those feelings so he could address them.

Good for you for noticing this child's "cry" for help.

All of this!! I also have a book called "when Sophie gets angry" and another book called "when I feel angry". Both books talk about kids feeling angry and what they can do to feel better for example; take a walk, take a deep breath, walk away from the situation etc. Maybe giving him some constructive things to do when he's angry like blowing air into a pretend balloon will redirect him from having a tantrum.

[Heidi]

All of this!! I also have a book called "when Sophie gets angry" and another book called "when I feel angry". Both books talk about kids feeling angry and what they can do to feel better for example; take a walk, take a deep breath, walk away from the situation etc. Maybe giving him some constructive things to do when he's angry like blowing air into a pretend balloon will redirect him from having a tantrum.

If I let him blow into a pretend balloon, maybe I will get lucky: He will hyperventilate & pass out for a few seconds. Then, I'll have some peace!


JUST KIDDING! ::

[Ariana]

If I let him blow into a pretend balloon, maybe I will get lucky: He will hyperventilate & pass out for a few seconds. Then, I'll have some peace!


JUST KIDDING! ::

LOL!! :: When I first suggested to the kids they blow into a pretend balloon I'm pretty sure they thought I was crazy so be prepared for that

[Heidi]

Little man goes to preschool several mornings a week. He gets here just before lunch, then it's nap (he doesnt nap but plays happily in his own room). After that, it's usually only a little more than an hour until mom comes.

I am sort of dreading summer, because he will be here every day. He changes the dynamic so much. But, he is a very physical kid, too, so summer should be better. I am going to try to do a mostly outside program, which works well for him. It doesn't solve the problem for him, but it makes it easier for the rest of us to cope.