Really?? Sickness Vent....

[Mom&Provider]

Today just takes the cake for me!

A little background first:

Yesterday I noticed DCB getting a little congested, his nose started running and so did his eyes, he was moving a bit slower then usual and clearly wasn't himself, not too bad to the point of a phone call, but I made sure to mention it all to DCM at pick-up that he wasn't well and I thought coming down with a cold.

FWD to this morning...DCB was just dropped off to me in his pj's, having had no breakfast and the kicker...still in his overnight diaper!? Seriously?? What just happened!? As a Mom I could never...NEVER...just grab my kid out of bed, knowing he/she has had a rough night, DCM said he had been up coughing and tossing and turning, and head out the door leaving them in pj's and a dirty diaper!!

OMGOSH! I have to say I am in shock...I could NEVER do that...I feel badly for DCB, but I am also sooo mad that DCM would have the nerve to assume that I am the right person to look after her ill child...after a looong night AND put all the other kids here at risk of getting sick too!!

Before walking out the door DCM tells me to call her if he isn't well...ummm....really...you ALREADY KNOW he isn't well!!?? He is sitting here beside me now, one cheek completely red, eyes watering like crazy and his nose is just pouring...he looks tired and unhappy...DCM WILL be getting a call shortly...today I am growing balls...I never have before...but this is it, no more!! Funny thing is when she was telling me all this this morning, I kept repeating to myself...tell her to take him home...tell her to take him home...but I was just so shocked I couldn't get it out!!

How can people do this? I have to say this isn't the 1st time this family has decided it was better for DCB to be here vs at home and I've let him stay before...but never having been yanked from his bed, in his pj's and clearly after having a terrible night!!

[littlemissmuffet]

I would not have let her leave without her child...

[bunnyslippers]

I ham having the SAME situation here. My neighbor, who is a "friend", stayed home for two days last week sick. Dropped her child off here both of those days. Friday, they dropped her off again, telling me she was "grumpy" and that dad was home sick. Friday night, I get the call that she has a 104 fever. Turns out she has roseola. BUT, don't worry, she isn't contagious anymore and is cleared to come back to daycare. Ummmm, how about that she may not be contagious but is MISERABLE and cries all day. BUT, don't worry, being irritable is part of the virus. Now, every other child here is getting sick...BUT, don't worry, she is on the upswing and seems to be feeling better. Selfish doesn't even begin to describe these people. They will take time off for their own illness, but their poor baby has to suffer through it. Just let her stay home in her pajamas!!!!!!!!!

[Ariana]

Just playing Devil's Advocate here but maybe rather than wake him up to put clothes on and feed him they let him sleep because he needed it?? I know it's not likely but possible? Of course the mom could have explained this to you if it was the case...

[cheerfuldom]

there is no reason to not take a moment to change a soppy wet overnight diaper.....that is just plain laziness.

[momma2girls]

I would definately be calling these parents, and say the child must be changed and dressed before coming to daycare. If it happens again, you will not be allowing them thru the door. In the 9 yrs. I have never had this happen!! Let us know what happens today!!

[godiva83]

Poor little man.
I hate when parents bring obviously sick children, I understand it is hard to take a day from work but it's not fair to their child and all the others in care.

[jojosmommy]

Yea I would have been upset enough to say they needed to go home. In fact I just sent dcb home who threw up here yesterday 5 min before pick up. "He needs to be home 24 hours without vomiting before returning to daycare." Gma says "oh why?" SERIOUSLY....

[wahmof3]

I really agree w/ PP & IMO this is the worst part about this profession.

I seriously think that these DCP think the only reason they should keep their kids home is if they are running a fever- nevermind the other symptoms. And even then they dose them up on motrin & still bring them.

and what about the stomach bug that's been going around that a fever isn't a symptom??? I had a DCP drop off & say "oh dcb had 3 episodes of diarrhea last night" And I responded that he shouldn't be here per my policy & what happened next...... I'M the B*TCH!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is my issue: How do you all turn a child away at the door? Why do these parents ALWAYS make us feel like the "BAD GUY" when its THEIR responsibility to care for their kids. It's frustrating & like the OP stated "she needs to grow some balls" well so do I.....::::::

Shhewww..... glad thats off my chest

[Blackcat31]

I really agree w/ PP & IMO this is the worst part about this profession.


Here is my issue: How do you all turn a child away at the door? Why do these parents ALWAYS make us feel like the "BAD GUY" when its THEIR responsibility to care for their kids. It's frustrating & like the OP stated "she needs to grow some balls" well so do I.....::::::

Shhewww..... glad thats off my chest

You turn a child/parent away at the door by saying;

"Sally, I am sorry but my responsibilities as a child care provider is to do what is best for ALL the children I have in care as a group. Allowing Johnny to stay when he is clearly sick would put my other children at risk. I am sure you understand as I would do the ame to protect Johnny's health as well. He can return to care when he is symptom free for a FULL 24 hours without any OTC meds. If you have any questions about making that decision, please do not hestitate to call me."

Child care providers AREN'T the bad guys, we are the responsible ones.

Parents make you feel like the bad guy when YOU allow them to....I always turn it around and sympathize with them that being a parent IS tough and if they think that is hard, they should try being a provider instead and then I laugh...:: and smile sweetly.

I will NEVER allow a parent's attitude to effect MY job which is to protect and care for the children in my care AS A GROUP. This point is HEAVILY stressed during interviews. Lessens the "shock factor" when I actually implement it.

[wdmmom]

My contract specifically states that each child must come in READY for the day. **Meaning** Clean diaper, dressed appropriately w/ seasonally appropriate shoes and hair combed.

I would have greeted DCM at the door and been like:

"WHOA...what is this? DCB can't be dropped off yet. He's not READY for the day. Once you get him together, you can drop him off."

OR

The cost to change an overnight diaper $5.00, The cost to change his clothes $10.00, Seeing DCM's face when you tell her you are charging...PRICELESS! ::::::

[littlemissmuffet]

Just playing Devil's Advocate here but maybe rather than wake him up to put clothes on and feed him they let him sleep because he needed it?? I know it's not likely but possible? Of course the mom could have explained this to you if it was the case...

Oh give me a break. If he "needed extra sleep" then fine, let him sleep in a bit, wake him up and change his diaper and put him in CLEAN comfy clothes before bringing him to daycare BEFORE going to work (so what of you're a little late?). BE A MOTHER.

[Daycaremomof2]

So Sad! WWYD? - Help me thicken my skin!!!

I am in the same boat! Tuesday, DCM dropped off her son and said he had "a little cough." Of course, throughout the day, he was coughing and sneezing, he wasnt eating much, sleeping a ton, and his nose was very runny. He was warm 1 hr before pickup but my daughter did something with my thermometer so I didn't get his temp taken. That night, I told DCM that he was sick, advised of the symptoms, and that was it.

The next day, DCM comes in and says she took his temp and he didnt have a fever, and his nose was clear, he just has "a little cold." He was happy at pick up, no runny nose, and seemed to be ok. Now I wonder if they medicated him- how do you prove something like that? Throughout the day, the same symptoms appeared. At pickup, literally as they came through the door, his nose gushed a yellow mucusy color, and I was so glad the parents got to see it. Surely, they would keep their sick child home the next day.

Nope- enter today. DCM and DCD drop him off, and he clearly is trying to breathe through his mouth bc his nose is stuffed, but this time they did not mention anything and handed him over and left. This poor child is clearly struggling to breathe. I put him to bed as soon as he was done with breakfast (his parents said he goes to bed at 10pm so he will sleep through the night- he is up at 5am). He slept for 3 hours before I went in and had to get him up for a bottle. I sectioned off the play room and let him play by himself while we played on the other side of the room (sad- but I have other kids to worry about, including my own). All day today he is crying and whining and I feel bad for him but what can I do? I tried to console him but nothing works except to put him to bed. The parents dont see the slime coming out of his nose, and we are at rough ends right now anyway for other matters (they were not respecting their contracted time and I had to confront them and they were upset). Technically, I will accept kids with minor colds, but clearly this kid is sick- his symptoms are on the fine line of the guidelines, and the parents I know will be upset and term if I call them to get him. I am in the process of looking for another child right now and when I get one I dont care what they do but I need the money now.

Ugh- these are the same parents who brought rotovirus into my house the first week they started, never acknowledged it, and just kept wondering why their child who usually has such solid BM's kept leaking out of the diaper. I a new and didnt know how to recognize the symptoms, etc- the things we learn as we go. The rotovirus infected everyone in the house, all of the other kids, and my husband and I, and gave my 1 year old diaper rash so bad that she bled, and to this day, 2 months later, if she has a poop at naptime she instantly gets a rash because her skin has not healed yet. Previously she NEVER had 1 incident of rash ever before this kid.

Also, these people were referred to me by my best friend, which makes it a sticky situation bc I will have to see them at future events, etc. Ugh Ugh Ugh!

What do I do? What would you do? On a side note, it is very hard to bond with a child who is sick and infecting your family- you just dont want to be near someone who is coughing, sneezing, and sliming mucous out of their nose.

How do I thicken my skin without compromising my $$?

[bice99]

Clear snot is ok, anything else is not.

[Blackcat31]

Clear snot is ok, anything else is not.

I am not sure if you are stating your own policies state that green/yellow snot is not ok, but I wanted to clear up the myth that green or yellow discharge means infection or a need for antibiotics because it doesn't.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/childhood-illnesses/coughs-colds-sinus-infections