Family Doesn't Know What To Do (Sorry...It's Long)

[JennyBear]

I have decided to come here to try and get some tips and advice to pass on to one of my daycare parents. I currently care for their almost 3 year old child full time. The parents are having a heck of a time with her at home because she will not sleep at night. She goes to bed around 7-7:30 (after fighting to keep her awake until then) and constantly wakes up at 2am-4am EVERY morning. She yells, cries, bangs the walls, doors,etc and wakes up the entire house (including other siblings-affecting their sleep) She refuses to go back to bed and is up for the day at this time. Parents have tried ignoring behavior- nothing...they have tried using a timer saying that she needs to go back to bed and when it "dings" she can wake up-nothing...they have tried cutting her afternoon naps back an extra 30 minutes (so napping anywhere from 1-1.5 hours)- Nothing. They have tried taking away naps all together...HUGE MISTAKE b/c she is a nightmare without a nap during the day. This is really starting to affect her behavior so parents took her to doctor. Doctor said she is in such a routine of this that it needs to be broken. Told parents they need to make child stay up until 8:30 and give her little snack before bed.
This is the 2nd day of taking the doctors advice and this child is just a mess. She continues to wake up around 3am and they're trying to make her stay awake until 8:30 but she is literally falling asleep during dinner or shortly after.
Today is the first day that I have seen a different side of this child while in my care...she is having tantrums, hitting, crying, not listening to anything and is barely functioning. Today is the first day I've ever had to send home a list of her negative behaviors which is resulting in hurting in another child.

I now see what the parents are dealing with at home and this cannot continue. I thought some of you might have gone through this or have any advice for me to pass on to this family.

Sorry this post is so long.
Thanks

[SilverSabre25]

I wonder if she's having nightmares or something around that time.

You could suggest to her parents that they give her melatonin and see if that helps.

She really needs an earlier bedtime, not later, and she needs a good, solid nap. Maybe you could try giving her a morning nap as well as an afternoon one?

[wdmmom]

She is 3?!

I'd have to agree with the doctor. If she is getting up, it's because she knows she can.

I would attempt to put her to bed later in hopes she'd sleep later.

I'd also eliminate anything to drink beyond 6pm. (Is she getting up to use the potty and not going back to bed?) (Is she peeing her diaper at this time and is uncomfortable going back to sleep in it?)

Is she getting up and turning on the light and playing? If so, unscrew the bulb when they put her to bed rather than turning it off at the switch and take out all the toys in her room.

[Cat Herder]

Have they looked at her diet and the amount of physical exercise she is getting each day?

[laundrymom]

I would nap her just after dinner for 30 minutes. Then keep her up til 1030 p. put her down for the night and see how that goes. Do it a week or so then gradually getting her to bed 5 min earlier, reducing the nap by one minute each time. Eventually she would be to no nap. And about an 830 bed time. Also, have they set their alarm to just before the time she wakes? Stand in her doorway and watch her wake. Maybe a neighbor starts their car? A dog barks, ? A train passes. ?? Maybe the watersoftner comes on?
just stand there and be still and silent.

[Meyou]

I personally think she's in a pattern that needs to be broken like the doctor said. I've just watched my friend go through this with her 7 year old. She was waking the house every single night after midnight because she was "scared" and "needed a hug". She was waking both her parents every time she had to use the washroom at night too. Their doctor told them to put her back to bed with no words or a sharp, "GO TO SLEEP" and nothing else and then to lock their door. It took two weeks of tantrums before they broke the cycle.

[MNMum]

Do as the doctor ordered. May need to plan how to keep her up until 830pm. Do something that will keep her interest - whatever it takes, McDonalds playland, etc. Think of it as rewiring her for a time zone change.