Cry Baby

[Serenity1083]

Hi I run a private dayhome. I just started out last July. I decided to do so for my children so they have kids to play with while making some money to help out with the finances. I have a brother and sister pair including my two kids I have a 7 year old son and a 2 month old son. My dayhome children are 6 year old girl and 4 year old boy. The little boy has listening issues and I have him pretty much under control he starts Kindergarten in the fall and there are many things that he cannot do still. He goes to preschool half days 3 days a week he doesn't seem to be learning much there. The mother has asked me to teach him how to write which is quite frustrating when the kid just can't do anything right he refuses to color or do anything the requires and type of thinking he cant open a granola bar wrapper or pudding cup or juice box hes just lazy why bother when everyone will just do it for him or will cry. I know its not my fault cuz he has only been at my home since sept /11. Both his parents are working parents they barely spend time with the kids the mom goes to school in the evening so the little boy wears a pullup to bed still because mom can't be bothered to do any extra laundry. The little girl started crying this morning because shes tired of doing stuff for her brother when her parents are around because they make her feel bed if she doesn't help. She is very smart and understands that doing things for her brother isn't helping him at all. He has tried crying with me when he didn't get his way he likes to try and get people to feel sorry for him so he won't have to do things. Mom doesnt understand how much shes hurting her son instead of helping him. His mom pretty much told me this morning that due to his crying everyday that shes throwing the towel with him learning to zip his own coat. The his sister told me that he was already crying about something else this morning and that he was yelling at his mom and that he yells and grandma. I know its none of my buisness what they do I think anyways I feel this is my house and my rules and hes not alloud to cry he cries more then my own 2 month old and thats how nutts this is getting. Tears from a 4 year old dont work with me. what is my role supposed to be as a dayhome provider. My oal was to help prepre and help with homework....

[cheerfuldom]

You decide what services you do and do not provide, outline that in your parent contract and then refer to contract when the parents want you to do otherwise. I don't have an official preschool program or curriculum and do not gaurantee any educational milestones....all my parents are aware of that. We do read together and such but I do not have the time and resources right now to devote to specific educational goals. If the parents want that service, they need to look elsewhere. Don't let the families issues become your issues and don't let the parents guilt trip you into doing anything you don't want to do. If you don't have a contract with this family, now is the time to do it. If this family is not working out and causing too much stress, don't feel that you have to keep taking care of them. You could always term and find a new family. The best thing would be to talk to the parents, let them know the issues and what you are and are not willing to do and hopefully they work with you on it.

[Serenity1083]

Thank you

I guess I am just feeling guilty not being able to teach this kid something he just doesn't want to learn. I will do activites with him but hes no baby and by this age I think he should be able to open wrappers or zip his own coat and be able to remember to wash his hands after bathroom or to cover his cough. I pretty much feel im with him all day and its my house so my rules if I want him to do something on his own then fine.