Ok How Would You Handle This One?

[Cat Herder]

no, someone else suggested that...

As for restraining, they frown on that here, too, but she was kicking and hitting me, so I stopped her. If I would have carried her to the car without shoes, I would still have been restraining her, in theory. This will certainly happen again...I want to be prepared. What do you think?

Sorry... I am on a small screen today. I missed that.

I most likely would have had Mom take her first, without shoes, to the car THEN come back for the one behaving.

Hand the pick-up problem back to Mom. Let her hit and kick Mom.

Time to schedule a conference to come up with an appropriate discipline plan together, IMHO.

[mac60]

Clarification please.....What the heck is "pinning her to my lap"....what does that mean. I have never heard of it before. Just curious.

[Heidi]

Clarification please.....What the heck is "pinning her to my lap"....what does that mean. I have never heard of it before. Just curious.

Lol...

I set her on the bench to put her shoes on, but she kept kicking and screaming, so my lap and held onto her (still kicking & yelling let me go...let me go...), put her shoes on, and tied them. By then, this episode was 20-25 minutes in, and everyone else was out the door. I was not wiling to extend the event nor day any further.

[Mommy2One]

I'm not a daycare provider, just a mom, so this may not work in a group setting or with every child but our 2.5 year old has recently started throwing fits (not kicking and hitting, just crying and screaming 'no') occasionally when asked/told to do something like clean up her toys or come over for a diaper change. We have started having her take a time out in her room when redirecting, simplifying the task or making a song/game of it isn't working. We do not have a set amount of time she has to sit there, she can come out when she's calm and ready to cooperate - this prevents a secondary battle and surprisingly she actually does stay put until she's feeling better. The timeout is less frustrating for us and so far it's been much more effective than trying to reason or battle with her when she's being irrational. It seems like the amount of time it takes her to calm down is getting shorter too and sometimes just asking "Do you need a timeout?" is enough to get her cooperation.

[Cat Herder]

I'm not a daycare provider, just a mom, so this may not work in a group setting or with every child but our 2.5 year old has recently started throwing fits (not kicking and hitting, just crying and screaming 'no') occasionally when asked/told to do something like clean up her toys or come over for a diaper change. We have started having her take a time out in her room when redirecting, simplifying the task or making a song/game of it isn't working. We do not have a set amount of time she has to sit there, she can come out when she's calm and ready to cooperate - this prevents a secondary battle and surprisingly she actually does stay put until she's feeling better. The timeout is less frustrating for us and so far it's been much more effective than trying to reason or battle with her when she's being irrational. It seems like the amount of time it takes her to calm down is getting shorter too and sometimes just asking "Do you need a timeout?" is enough to get her cooperation.

What you are describing is what I call a "Quiet Center". It is what I use more often than not, here. It works very well in group care. Mine has soft seating, books and is closed off on 3 sides for a "secluded" feel.

Most go there on their own when they need a bit of "me time. When a tantrum begins, I point to it and they go on their own. They come out when they are ready to rejoin the group, granted when they are small I prompt them with "Are you finished? Ready to come back?".

I love that you do this at home, too. happyface Ironically, I have been trying to get my teens to let me have one, but to no avail, they just keep nagging at me.

[Blackcat31]

I'm not a daycare provider, just a mom, so this may not work in a group setting or with every child but our 2.5 year old has recently started throwing fits (not kicking and hitting, just crying and screaming 'no') occasionally when asked/told to do something like clean up her toys or come over for a diaper change. We have started having her take a time out in her room when redirecting, simplifying the task or making a song/game of it isn't working. We do not have a set amount of time she has to sit there, she can come out when she's calm and ready to cooperate - this prevents a secondary battle and surprisingly she actually does stay put until she's feeling better. The timeout is less frustrating for us and so far it's been much more effective than trying to reason or battle with her when she's being irrational. It seems like the amount of time it takes her to calm down is getting shorter too and sometimes just asking "Do you need a timeout?" is enough to get her cooperation.

Nice to hear a parent's point of view

[jojosmommy]

If a child refuses to get ready I leave it to the parent to get them ready. If they cant get it handled in a few min then I tell them to leave without their kid. "I see *** wont get ready and Im sure your busy (wink) why dont you go and maybe ***x will be ready later." Every kid gets ready in 2 seconds flat and only once have I ever had a kid try that nonsense again. We watched as mom drove away. Tough love. Mom returned after a spin around the block and that kid is the best behaved now. Finally believes im serious and mom is too.

[Blackcat31]

If a child refuses to get ready I leave it to the parent to get them ready. If they cant get it handled in a few min then I tell them to leave without their kid. "I see *** wont get ready and Im sure your busy (wink) why dont you go and maybe ***x will be ready later." Every kid gets ready in 2 seconds flat and only once have I ever had a kid try that nonsense again. We watched as mom drove away. Tough love. Mom returned after a spin around the block and that kid is the best behaved now. Finally believes im serious and mom is too.

word of warning: I tried this a few years ago. The kid waved goodbye to mom with a smile on his face.

I thought it was a super idea at the time but I totally did not anticipate the kid not caring.

[Heidi]

I'm pretty sure mom would not go for that! I would totally do that, but am pretty sure she would not. I base this on other similar interactions where I have illicited that kind of "back up". If she does it at all, her body lanuage says "oh, my poor little darling..."

[mac60]

Lol...

I set her on the bench to put her shoes on, but she kept kicking and screaming, so my lap and held onto her (still kicking & yelling let me go...let me go...), put her shoes on, and tied them. By then, this episode was 20-25 minutes in, and everyone else was out the door. I was not wiling to extend the event nor day any further.

LOL, when I read that, I automatically thought of "safety pin", duh. Been a stressful week with the full moon. I understand, and you did nothing wrong.

[Heidi]

LOL, when I read that, I automatically thought of "safety pin", duh. Been a stressful week with the full moon. I understand, and you did nothing wrong.

Oh no, then I would have used duct tape. Pins get too messy!

before you all lynch me...juuust kidding!