Why Do Parents Always Blame Us?

[meganlavonnesmommy]

DCM came in today asking about her daughters nap schedule during the day. She said all week the 2 year old is waking up in the middle of the night wanting to play and watch tv, and wont go back to sleep. She was complaining because her and hubby are tired. She wondered how long she is sleeping here during the day, and wondered if that is why she isnt sleeping at night.

They drop off at 6:30am, and the girl naps from 12-2. Sometimes 2:30, but she is usually awake by 2.
If she is waking up at night and playing its because she knows she can! Because she knows the parents will let her! It's not because she is sleeping too much here! Grrrrrrrr. Hate when everything is my fault!

[Kaddidle Care]

What time are they putting her to bed? Perhaps they can put her to bed an hour later and that might help?

She should be getting 12-14 hours sleep a day as per this website: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children

My own son went through about a year of waking at 2:00 AM - I think there was a neighbor leaving for work at that time every morning. It wasn't enough to wake us but it woke the little guy.

[Ariana]

I agree that she may need a later bedtime. My own daughter went through a phase like this and we changed her bedtime from 7 to 8 and she started napping and STTN again. Most parents want their kids in bed super early and no naps. I've struggled with it here with one DCM who says her daughters crappy sleeping is because of naps here. She asked me to limit her nap to 30 minutes. I obliged for a week and her sleep at night got worse and she was exhausted and waking at 5am. She regularly sleeps here 1.5 hours and sleeps form 9-7 at night now.

[countrymom]

because its easier to blame us for everything then themselves.

[cheerfuldom]

and its easier to make their problem, our problem.

[Meyou]

Everytime I have to have this conversation I ask the parents if they agree with this statement:

A child who falls asleep within 15 minutes of resting is tired and needs a nap.

Once they agree our discussion always goes better on my end. :P Since they agree that a child that falls asleep needs a nap then they agree that I shouldn't prevent naps for these children. If they can stay awake I let them up after an hour or so.

Just wanted to add: I think that this particular parent argument is ridiculous since most children don't get enough sleep in a 24 hour period because of their parent's schedules.

[Blackcat31]

Waking up in the middle of the night is pretty common for children that age. They are learning how to put themselves back to sleep and how to stay asleep.

I would tell the parents that they need to do some reading up on normal childhood behaviors when it comes to eating and sleeping patterns before they immediately assume it is because of what happens at daycare. sigh...

[wdmmom]

I had one parent ask me what time naptime was here and if her son was napping the entire time. She said he wasn't going to bed until 10 or 11pm!

I told her the same thing I tell everyone. Naptime is 1230pm to 3pm. They usually talk and babble until close to 1pm so they are napping for 1.75 to 2 hours per day.

She asked if I could only let him sleep for an hour. The answer is NO! If he is sleeping, it's because his body says he needs it. I am not going to go waking up a sleeping child because the mom wants him to go to bed earlier!

Apparently it's worked itself out because it hasn't been brought up again. And if it does, I'll tell her the same thing I've told other families. If your child doesn't need a full afternoon nap, they've outgrown my program.

[VTMom]

Funny...I just had DCM mention she was thinking about having me get rid of 2 1/2 year old's nap because he was having sleep issues at night. She then said, "yeah...he's still too young I think". Mind you that 5 year old brother is also having sleep issues (he doesn't nap at all - full day kindergarten) and they are in the process of divorcing with separate residence as of November. But...yeah...probably his nap is interfering with sleeping at night (note sarcasm).

[LittleD]

What time are they putting her to bed? Perhaps they can put her to bed an hour later and that might help?

She should be getting 12-14 hours sleep a day as per this website: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children

My own son went through about a year of waking at 2:00 AM - I think there was a neighbor leaving for work at that time every morning. It wasn't enough to wake us but it woke the little guy.

Agreed! I've had this situation with the to brothers I have in my care (2 yrs apart) At 2, the older one had this issue as well, and when the little brother (who is now two) started going through this, I had to remind them that it is commonly the age.

I like PP about if they fall asleep in 15mins (or in our case, 5) they need a nap!

[MamaBear]

I'm having the SAME problem this week with one of my parents. This little guy naps like everyone else here - about 2 hrs a day and all of a sudden at home he's not sleeping well at night. She was basically doing the same to me - questioning me about if he's sleeping too much and thats why he's staying up at night at home. She said she gets up 7 times a night (what an odd # for her to say) and that he wants to play and watch tv. I told her she should not turn the light and tv on for him. Just say no and if he wants to cry, let him cry. Ohhhh no she says - he won't allow that. I hate having to defend myself to her that he only sleeps 2 hrs here. It's always the daycare providers fault because they can't take any blame for how their kid turns out. So annoying!

[Ariana]

Funny...I just had DCM mention she was thinking about having me get rid of 2 1/2 year old's nap because he was having sleep issues at night. She then said, "yeah...he's still too young I think". Mind you that 5 year old brother is also having sleep issues (he doesn't nap at all - full day kindergarten) and they are in the process of divorcing with separate residence as of November. But...yeah...probably his nap is interfering with sleeping at night (note sarcasm).

Exactly!

[countrymom]

I've got one, dgc who is 11 months, mom wants her to nap only half hour in the morning and only one hour in the afternoon so she can stay asleep all night.

[karen]

because it's our job to take the blame didn't you know. That is part of being a childcare provider/teacher it's in our rules handbook...I think it's rule 13
Rule#13 states.....When a child is not doing what the parent wants them to do the parent places blame on us!
Sorry just trying to make you laugh!!!! I hate when parents come in and ask me to shorten naps or don't let them take one. I always respond with well I guess you are telling me that I should work 11 hours and not take a lunch break. NOT HAPPENING!

[DaisyMamma]

ohhhh no she says - he won't allow that.

who is the mom? Lol